TNG Caption This! #421: The Trouble with Turbolifts

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Deanna? Are you alright?"
Troi (from floor): "I'm sorry. I must have fainted. I was hit by a strong empathic wave of post-coital awkwardness from somewhere."

Worf: "Argh! It's that damn Beta XII-A entity again! It's been following me around for weeks now trying to pick a fight!"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

BEVERLY: Time for your checkup Deanna. (Reaches in) Your infant gu'ald is very healthy.

GEORDI: I know you're in there, Leah my love. Like you said. When I touch the ship, it's you!

DATA: Both Riker and Worf are entering the turbolift, following a 24 hour shift. Would it be the human reaction to avoid this turbolift and wait for the next one?

O'BRIEN: Sorry Data. I don't think it's likely you'll ever be a real boy.

When Klingons vomit, they do it for distance.

 

[Mojochi]

1st Officer's Personal Log: I had that dream again about the breast exam on the bridge

Geordi: No wait! We didn't even make it to the holodeck beach program yet!

Data: Captain, I have a request. It would be much easier to pretend nothing happened, if everyone would stop avoiding eye contact with myself & Lt. Yar

Troi: Data, it's not polite to stare at Chief O'Brien's enormously deformed feet

Troi: The briefing can wait

 

[Nerys Myk]

WES: What are you doing? We've only been in here for like two seconds!

GEORDI: I've got 56 ounces of fluid in my bladder and we have to establish a pee corner!

 

[tharpdevenport]

That awkward moment when everybody in the lift realizes one of them is a popular character with a number of good episodes passed that centered around him, another about to become a regular crew member on a new series, and that the most one has ever done is change costumes every season.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

The best way to inspect a turbolift: Up close and personal.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: Second Officer's Log, supplemental: Tonight I believe I mastered the social custom known as 'Awkward Elevator Silence' .

Worf: Commander! That lift is about to exceed its maximum legal weight capacity!
Data, thinking: This is why I do not mind weeks in which there is a genuine crisis.

Worf: Willie Wonka's Great Glass Elevator! At last!
Riker, OS: Riker to Ten-Forward. Guinan, how much 'prune juice' did Lieutenant Worf consume?

Crusher: Eeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy!
Riker, thinking: God in heaven, is she pretending to be...the Fonz?
Troi, thinking: Just...humor her, Will.

LaForge: Please date me, Leah! You're my only hope!

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: Nope. This outfit is testing worse than the "cheerleader".

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Chief, are you sure the "Turbolift Riverdance Review" is a sanctioned activity?
Chief: The Review, yes.
Troi: Your impromptu bridge upkilts, no.

Data's Day Supplemental: Dear Commander Maddox: While it may not be the best use of bridge crew resources to ride the turbolift all day on the off chance Wesley Crusher gets on so we can intimidate the crap out of him, it does keep our spirits elevated. Oh, and something about a Vulcan ambassador....

Crewman<thinking>: Worf's a hero! He's trying to protect me!
Worf<thinking>: Where's the back door in this #$%^ thing!

Beverly: Here is a local analgesic for that beard stubble rash in your cleavage.
Troi: Hello, a little discretion?!
Beverly: Hey, give me a seat on the bridge and I won't spend half my shift hatching this stuff up.

Geordi: I love you, Enterprise.
Computer: Bleep bloop bleeeeeep. Who are you?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Yar (thinking): "Just look at him! That sickly pallor, slicked-back hair, gigantic schnoz. And look at his moobs! They're drooping! Gads, what was I thinking!"

 

[Hutchy01]

Crusher: Should I just stick the cash in your shirt

It was at this point the crew realised the Chief wasn't getting back up!

Data: Shut your fly!

Attack of the Flying Tribbles!

 

[Orac]

GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!!

No Dr. Crusher! You're supposed to examine the alien EN-tities!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "You are so screwed if this pic ever makes it into a caption contest."

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Troi: Can we hurry this up? I'm hungry.
Beverly: Pleased to meet you, hungry. I'm Beverly.
Troi: * Must... not... strangle... *

"In Soviet Russia, elevator rides YOU!"

Riker: "Huh... so THAT'S why turbolifts have inertial dampeners."
Worf: "Maintenance crew report to the bridge. Bring a shovel and a small bucket."

Data: I thought things were okay... <sniffle wimper> but she just left me... <sniffle> I just <sniffle> I just miss her... <sniffle> so much... <sniffle sniffle> I mean, like, WHY? WHYYYYYYY?!?!?! <cough whine>
O'Brien: Yeah. That. Um. sucks.
Troi: Yes. That's. Really sad.
Data: I'm sorry <sniffle sniffle> I'm just... so.... SAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!
O'Brien: <Pushes button for nearest floor>

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Dammit,Data! A turbolift isn't a litterbox!

 

[Karzak]

 

[Triskelion]

Geordi: Hmm, smells like Guinan's bicycle seat.

 

[Hutchy01]

Troi: "You are so screwed if this pic ever makes it into a caption contest."

Later

 

[Catarina]

]

Beverly give thumbs up for Unspoken Turbolift Nookie

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW LH!

Crusher: Tasha was right, drugs do make you feel good!

Riker: Err... didn't you hear the rest of her speech?

Crusher: Nah, soon as I heard that I rushed out to get some drugs. Now I'm sharing!

Troi: I feel good!

Crusher: See?

Burton: Come on Berman, I know you're in there! I want to direct!

Riker: But really... this ship is massive. How do these things always know how to take you to the exact place on the deck you want to go?

O'Brien: Oh look, a panel that's never been seen on this set before!

Data: I guess that means one of us gets to smash it.

Troi: Oh, me! Me! I never get to smash panels!

Worf: Quick back inside! They've not finished redressing this corridor from its use in the TOS Movies.