Tebok: It's a thousand light years to Romulan space, we've got a full tank of dilithium, half a pack of military grade rations, it's dark...and we're wearing uniforms.
Thei: Hit it.
TNG Caption This! #362: Finally's Part 1
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Tebok: It's a thousand light years to Romulan space, we've got a full tank of dilithium, half a pack of military grade rations, it's dark...and we're wearing uniforms.
Thei: Hit it.
"To further simulate Human behaviour, Captain, I have been altering my Dating Program - with help from Commander Riker. From now on, the approach will be: First I hit it - then I quit it."
Picard: "Mr. Data, your skin coloring looks...off."
Data: "Commander LaForge and I have been spending a lot of time in the Bahamas on the holodeck. As it turns out, bioplast sheeting does not tan well."
Data: Sir, I do not understand Commander Riker's smugness. Clearly I "rock" a clean shaven face in a superior manner.
Klingon Belly Laugh Award? Sweet! Thanks, LeadHead! 
Worf: Is that...Captain America?
Picard: For the last time, Mr. Worf, no one here is leaving this room until you admit it was you who placed that "whoopie cushion" on my chair!
Picard: Don't move or I'll fire!
Man: You do know you're not holding a phaser, right?
Riker: These guys were a terrible choice to replace Letterman.
Picard could tell by the smug looks on his officers' faces that his fly was open again.
Worf: Is that...Captain America?
Picard: For the last time, Mr. Worf, no one here is leaving this room until you admit it was you who placed that "whoopie cushion" on my chair!
Picard: Don't move or I'll fire!
Man: You do know you're not holding a phaser, right?
Riker: These guys were a terrible choice to replace Letterman.
Picard could tell by the smug looks on his officers' faces that his fly was open again.
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Worf: Is that...Jason Vorhees!?
Picard: Mr. Worf, are you taking a leak under the table?
Picard: Mr. Offenhouse...you stink...
Riker: For crying out loud, Captain, show some balls!
Picard: I think it is a little late to impress them now, Number One!
Picard: "Commander Riker, are you detecting any leaks?"
Data proves that people in the 24th century do indeed have to pee!
Dr. Crusher was to be frozen until a far future time when "kway-sawnt" jokes were no longer told.
Worf: Mirror, mirror, on the wall...who's the prettiest one of all? Aw, damn...
Data: Like I said, you would not even crack the top 100.
Picard: Confess, Worf! You at my goldfish!
Pull my finger.
Romulan 1: Should I tell him or will you?
Romulan 2: I don't want to tell him!
Romulan 1: Fine, I'll tell him...my colleague here is the one who scratched your starship.
Data wasn't afraid to admit that even androids pass gas.
Enjoy![/QUOTE]
Offenhouse: I think boinking Doctor Crusher can help me enrich myself.
Picard: Hoisted on my own Picard!
Data: Let's see, we've got some cola, some purple stuff, and - all right! Sunny D!
Worf: Come on, the purple stuff has to be the warrior's drink!
Data: It is in a container marked "Sentient Life Form, Do Not Drink."
Worf: Still - better than Sunny D.
Data: Agreed.
DATA: This is sperm for artificial insemination. According to this notice, all samples come from the same donor: Television Actor, both black and white traits, verry tall, deep voice, competent aircraft pilot...
WORF: This donor is full of honor.
Worf: "Look at them. Flash-frozen while sneaking a quickie. How humiliating."
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
ERIK: Charles, why do you always ask questions you know the answers to?
CHARLES: You're not Ian McKellen!
CRUSHER (os): What happened?
RALPH: He totally froze up when I pointed out I was against economic deregulations and that his "Prime Directive" was a typical laissez-faire mentality.
PICARD: I forbid you to take over my Enterprise.
RALPH: May I at least flirt with your ship's economist. She's redhead and emotionally unbalanced.
PICARD: NO!
PICARD: I need you to stay in your quarters and shut the fuck up!
CRUSHER (os): What happened?
RALPH: He totally froze up when I pointed out I was against economic deregulations and that his "Prime Directive" was a typical laissez-faire mentality.
WINNER!!!
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