TNG Caption This! #359: Bridge work

[jep]

Unfortunately, the caterer's "Baked Beans Day" didn't go well for the cast of TNG.


.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Welcome to the bridge, Number One. Ok everyone, compensate!
Riker <grabbing gut>: I'm working on it!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Mr. Crusher, how many times do I have to tell you? There are no squirrels is space!

 

[dstyer]

Captain's Log, Star Date 41974.2: We have entered orbit of the Las Vegas colony . . .

Riker: Be with you in a minute, Mr. Worf. Just checking my FarmVille account.

Picard: Wesley, you're supposed to *stop* at the red lights!

Alien #1: This isn't the "Red Dwarf, is it?"

Worf: Commander, this is my station. You're supposed to be in that chair.
Riker: Sure you don't want to trade?
Worf: Why?
Riker: Picard hasn't showered in a week.

 

[Armored Saint]

WORF: Commander, if your stinky nuts are still on my station in twenty seconds, I cut them with this bat'leth.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Well what do you know, you were next in line for Tasha's position. You wanna go break the news to Worf?

 

[Avro Arrow]

Yar: No, Worf, I've seen this before. They're using a bright light to try to immobilize their target. It's similar to how a Terran deer would freeze when caught in the headlights of an old-style ground vehicle.

Worf: Ha, that tactic may work against a hapless animal, but not against a trained Starfleet officer, right captain? Right? Uh, captain?

Riker: Ensign, I realize Lieutenant Worf is leaving for a dangerous away mission, but you should probably wait until he's actually dead before submitting a requisition for his possessions.

 

[Nerys Myk]

YVETTE PICARD: Jean-Luc, I'm cold, Can you get me a blanket? And bring one for your friend. In that outfit, she must be colder than I am.

PICARD: Qui, mama.

WORF: Mother's Day? She's been here almost a week!

 

[Armored Saint]

YVETTE: Putain Jean-Luc, c'est qui cette vieille pute qui était là tantôt?
PICARD: Sa mère et même si le traducteur universel n'est pas activé, elle lit les pensées.

 

[Nebusj]

Picard: ``Well, flash our high beams back and maybe they'll dim theirs.''

Riker: ``Worf returns from leave today? Too bad; I liked the tactical savvy of Lieutenant Beaker back there.''

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Butt Pirates from Space: A Klingon Guide to Galactic Gay Spots? Oh boy, it's going to be a hilarious shift.

Worf: Reporting for duty, sir.

Riker: Of course.

 

[shivkala]

Picard: ``Well, flash our high beams back and maybe they'll dim theirs.''

Worf: No, sir! It's a pubescent Klingon rite of passage. If we flash our high beams, they will attempt to ram us, take over our ship, and kill everyone onboard!

Yar: That's just an urban legend, sir, recommend we simply alert the authorities in this sector and continue on our way.

Riker: This is a petition from Worf to return to tactical? No way, Lt. Harvey does an awesome Batman impersonation. Hey, Harvey, do it!

Harvey: The hammers of justice will solve this problem!

Riker: That's not all, watch this! You know how Worf tried to start that whole, "Sounds like a case of the Mondays" thing? Harvey, has anyone ever asked you if you have a case of the Mondays?

Harvey: No. No, man. Shit, no, man, I believe you get your asked kicked saying something like that man.

 

[Nerys Myk]

^^ That is him! Good eye.

 

[Armored Saint]

Whut, the guys from The Beverly Hillbillies!?!?!?

 

[shivkala]

Yup, and Drew Carey (Oswald Lee Harvey, which is why I call him "Lt. Harvey"), Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Office Space, and a ton of other stuff.

I thought it was him, did a quick search, and found out it was!

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Lieutenant Oswald, what's that alarm, an alien ship?
LT Oswald: No sir, a Beverly Hillbillies reference in the TOS caption contest.

...Ha, good one.

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!