TNG Caption This! 331: Spooky!

[Triskelion]

Picard: True is it that we have seen better days.
...
Picard: Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage....
...
Picard: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark -

Worf: Enough! Even Shakespeare took a day off from being a douche!

Skullface: The song is over. You can stop twerking now.

According to these readings this will work well as a dead guy poking device.

Picard: Oh crap. How long have you been here?
Ghost Helmsman: Long enough to hear you singing "I Got You Babe" in the shower.
Ghost Ops: Both parts.

Riker: Nobody needs your lunch updates, Worf.
Worf: Some people like pictures of gagh.
Riker: It's not that. It's the constant reminders of your pretension.

 

[GENERAL_DS]

Picard (thinking) I hate wesley

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: He he he... He's dead Jim!

Always wanted to say that.

Data: But no one here is called Jim, the joke does not work.

Picard: Mr Data, you are part of the reason I wish I was a captain a century ago.

Future Alexander: ...And so you see, I wore the Halloween mask so that you wouldn't recognise me.

K'Ehleyr: OK, that makes a sort of sense... but why are you hitting on me?

Future Alexander: Well, that's what Marty does to his Mom in Back to the Future, right?

K'Ehleyr: No!

Crusher: The outline reminds me of what I miss most about Jack.


His collection of ancient scrap-metal obviously.

Picard: Wait... a flashback where they're not wearing the TOS movie uniforms? Must be a Ferengi plot!

Riker: Right, if we don't get any candy this time we're doing a trick.

Worf: I said we should have worn costumes.

 

[Holdfast]

FEMALE EXTRA: Well, insubstantial ghost beats being in a weird alien costume.
MALE EXTRA: Yeah, but at least the alien costume was fire-retardant.

 

[Finn]

Picard: Thank god Beverly isn't here. I'd never get her out of here!

 

[T'Girl]

Picard: "That's right, just before the attack it was "Disco Inferno Night" in the main lounge."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I really got to cut back on the LSD.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Goldshirt: Look dear, Captain Picard's watching us crash. Again.

Blueshirt: Stop it.

Goldshirt: I SAID I should never have let you drive, and look where it got us!

Blueshirt: I thought that after we died I wouldn't have to listen to your damn complaining every day...

Goldshirt: Yeah, well, maybe this is our Hell. An eternity having to sit next to you...

Blueshirt: It's too bad we're already dead, or I'd pop a phaser beam in your bitch ass.

 

[Vassa]

Thanks for the win!

Picard: It looks like something exploded out of his chest. Very odd.
Worf: What's that moving on the floor!?
Data: Captain, I am detecting numerous alien lifeforms converging on our location.
Picard: Merde!

Having your own stuntman is so much fun!

Beverley: Wesley Gene Crusher! How many times have I told you no explosives in our quarters!?

Picard: Tasha was one of my crew on the Stargazer too?!?

Riker: Worf, I don't know what you saw but the tri-coder isn't picking up any Tribbles.

 

[2takesfrakes]

"What's this rubbish? Can't STAR TREK afford a decent Stan Winston puppet?"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: They keep telling me that the captain's chair will kill me..
Worf: I think the disruptors to the chest helped.

Crusher: What is an "Adobe Update"? Whatever it is, the machine is waiting on one.

 

[Mistral]

Riker: "I'm telling you, Worf, I'm GOING to find the source of that odd earthy, peat-y smell!"

 

[Velocity]

Picard: Another "half baked" plot, I see.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: That's right, I put a counselor at helm. Must remember to make a note on what a bad that was.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: And now another mystery of the universe solved, Mister Worf.
Worf: What if Churchill wore a catsuit sir?
Picard: Precisely.

Skullface: After the Hokey Pokey let's do Kumbaya.
K'Ehleyr: Ooh, and then smores!
Skullface: Yearrggghhh! Smores!

Com: Picard to away team. Report.
Crusher: Still waiting on the Obamacare database to download, Captain.
Com: ETA?
Crusher: Any century now.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Those bastards. I knew they were having BBQs without me!

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

Picard: HOW MANY LIGHTS ARE THERE?!

Skullface: Ooooooh look at me! I'm so scaaaary! Woooooo!
K'Ehleyr: (thinking) Just ignore him and he'll go away... Do NOT punch him... that will only encourage him...

Crusher: What's with the lighting, guys, this isn't freaking TOS!

Picard: What the hell are you going in my quarters!?
Gold ghost: Picard, we've come to haunt you...
Picard: Oh I see, very funny, it's Halloween is it? Godamn it I thought these traditions had died out centuries ago
Blue ghost: What? No we-
Picard: OK, OK, good costumes I'll get you some candy just wait here
Gold ghost: Captain, we're really ghosts!
Picard: Yes, yes, spooky, now have some candy and be on your way

Riker: I'm looking at the scripts now, Worf! TNG does NOT have a Halloween episode!

 

[Leviathan]

Picard: <sigh> This is going to be some sort of zombie episode isn't it?

 

[Mojochi]

Picard: I'm pretty sure he died from having the galaxy's most uncomfortable chair

News of the "Cling-On" pickup line being passe had not yet reached Eternia

Dr. Crusher might have taken her orders to scan every inch of the wreckage for survivors a little too literally

Picard: That reminds me... I have to stop letting counselors pilot my ships

Riker: This tricorder must be broken. It's detecting Betazoid life signs in your quarters

 

[Finn]

PICARD: That's right, I put a counselor at helm. Must remember to make a note on what a bad that was.