TNG Caption This! 327: False King

[Triskelion]

Geordi: - So after we arrive in Sector Twenty, we'll transfer the shipment -
Troi: Quiet - someone is about to lose their virginity. Oh never mind. It's just Wesley's left hand.

Picard: Number One, set a course for the easy bake oven cupcake.
Riker: He's baked again.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Computer, play "Love In An Elevator". Authorization: Riker 0025942.

 

[Finn]

Picard: Damn it, Wil! I told you not to let her drive again!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Cast: all thinking this episode is going to suck.

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Watch out for his bishop! He'll have your King in seven moves! Use the 4D Zuckertort Reversal! The 4D Zuckertort!

Picard: Our Science Officer started out as a Gameboy CD.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Picard was not amused when Wesley streaked through Ten Forward.

 

[IzzyAtWarp9]

Crusher: Look at me! I've got no neck!
Picard: Doctor Crusher, stop that at once! We have serious business to conduct with the representatives from this world
Representive-braided-hair-woman: Look at me! I'm a chess table!
Picard:... OK then, carry on

Troi: Geordi, before I give you any type of counselling I would feel more comfortable if you put some trousers on

Picard: Numba One, help! Someone's been messing around with the superglue!
Riker: Oh this is going straight on Spacebook

Geordi: Captain, help! I'm stuck to you!
Riker: Worf, help! I'm stuck to you!
Data: Captain I appear to be stuck to the computer console
Picard: DAMN SUPERGLUUUUUUUUUUE!!!

Picard: Hmm... those buttons remind me of a song... (starts humming)
Data: Captain, are you about to start singing?
Crusher: (bursts in) Am I late? Did I miss it? (starts beating tiny drum and dancing)
Data: Captain, is this really-
Picard: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Holdfast]

TFTW!!

CRUSHER (thinking): Oh God, he's eyeing up the chess set again, isn't he? I hate having to play that game with him... is it too soon to fake a headache again?

TROI: I'm going to look away and pretend I didn't see a Goddess of Empathy screensaver on your laptop there.

PICARD: I know I say it every time, but that really is the last time I party with the Duras sisters.

EDIT - whoops, I see Velocity already beat me to - essentially - this punchline. How about instead:

PICARD: I don't know why you're laughing, Riker. You're due in sickbay next.

PICARD: It's simply unacceptable, Mr Data.
DATA: Aye sir, I'll have the carpet relaid immediately.

CRUSHER: I love you.
PICARD: I know.
<carbonite freezes her in place>
DATA: Well, that was weird...

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Crusher: A stable wormhole?
Picard: It leads to the Gamma Quadrant. Just think of the exploration the Federation could do there.
Crusher: What if there's a vast xenophobic interplanetary empire behind it that wants to invade?
Picard: War? What a primitive concept. That will never happen.

Troi: Women trouble again? -sigh- I'll clear out three hours next week.

Riker: Problem sir?
Picard: Oh no, Number One. I've just been making it so. That's why the inertial dampeners have been shaking, I've been rocking the boat.

Picard: I don't know who you people think you are, but I want to know why masking tape is on my clean floor. Mr. Data, clean this up.
Data: Aye sir, switching from blow mode, to suck mode.

Picard: Ah, Dr Crusher, good. Please wait in my ready room. Number one, you have the bridge. I shall be making a.... log entry.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Launch a probe into the anomaly.
Crusher: Did someone say anal probe?
All: NO!
Data: It is statistically improbable that she misunderstood.

Geordi: I feel that women ignore me.
Troi: Hm? Has that fish always been there?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Odd that he'd just leave them lying out like that. Didn't think anyone would be coming in here, I guess."
Troi: "The captain's speedo. One those things you just assume you'll never actually get a chance to see."
LaForge: "Wanna try 'em on? I did."

 

[LeadHead]

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