"Jean-Luc the starship Captain
Had a very shiny... conference table..."
TNG Caption This! 324: Enigmatic Soul
- Thread starter LeadHead
- Start date
"Jean-Luc the starship Captain
Had a very shiny... conference table..."
Larry: Before you ogle me - I'm married.
Worf: Nobody cares, Larry.
Logan: Okay, look. I swear I didn't know she wasn't 18 cycles old. I'll pay a thousand credits, just make this charge go away!
LaForge: Sorry, Logan, it's gonna cost you more than that.
Worf (thinking): Logan, your cellmate's going to love you...
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LaForge: "The captain gives you two day's leave on Risa, and all you do while you're there is get a manicure? You're pathetic, Logan!"
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Logan: Okay, look. I swear I didn't know she wasn't 18 cycles old. I'll pay a thousand credits, just make this charge go away!
LaForge: Sorry, Logan, it's gonna cost you more than that.
Worf (o.s.): Logan, your cellmate's going to love you...
Worf's offscreen.
LaForge: You people will rue the day you said me reading a book was a stupid idea. Rue the day!
Q: I'm just saying, six million dollars will only get you cosmetic work! Not all that cyborg shit!
Picard: Who the fuck are you?
Worf: He's pulling that flute crap again, Doctor.
Data: The UFP stands for Universal Fashion Police. I'm placing your whole planet under arrest. Book 'em, Worf-o.
Worf: Who are you talking to, Commander?
Larry: So...left is starboard?
Geordi: No, left is port. Four letters each. P-O-R-T. L-E-F-T. see?
Larry: But starboard has eight letters and right has only five.
Geordi: It doesn't matter. "Port" and "left" have four letters.
Larry: I always get those confused. Thanks for clearing that up.
Geordi: Don't you have work to do?
Larry: Yes sir. The...port nacelle is on fire.
Worf: Starboard!
Worf's offscreen.
Fixed it
LeadHead, TFTW. 
Worf (to self): "These humans and their meetings. Can't they hurry up? I'm already five minutes late for my hot date with Deanna."
Q: "You'll be sorry."
< brief pause >
Q: "You know my Lady Gaga impressions don't really get going until the second half."
Data: "It was your turn to set the trash out for the garbage scow."
Picard: "No, Mr. Data, it was your turn."
Data (to self): "Damn, if I knew they'd have a camera at this angle, I would have used more pressed powder on my chin."
Logan: "This move is called 'jazz hands at three-quarters attention.' What are you blind, man?"
Worf (to self): "These humans and their meetings. Can't they hurry up? I'm already five minutes late for my hot date with Deanna."
Q: "You'll be sorry."
< brief pause >
Q: "You know my Lady Gaga impressions don't really get going until the second half."
Data: "It was your turn to set the trash out for the garbage scow."
Picard: "No, Mr. Data, it was your turn."
Data (to self): "Damn, if I knew they'd have a camera at this angle, I would have used more pressed powder on my chin."
Logan: "This move is called 'jazz hands at three-quarters attention.' What are you blind, man?"
Geordi: But it's unfair! I was on that chair and he pushed me off!
Picard: yes, but you were on it before the music stopped, which is cheating
Data: (To Geordi) man up, Geordi, I did the same thing to the counsellor and she's not crying about it
Geordi: Did you hear that?!?!? He admits to cheating!
Picard: Mr LaForge, it's musical chairs not the Kobayashi Maru. It's only a game
Data: Yeah, Geordi, it's only a game!
Future Wesley: You don't understand; it's me, Wesley! I've been in the other dimension for 20 years and come back in time to visit you! I have a whole new understanding of life and I've learnt so much-
Picard: Well we're not wasting this opportunity. Mr Worf, throw him out the airlock
Worf: With pleasure, sir
Wesley: Wait, what about mom? She won't want you to do this
Picard: Hmm, you're right. Mr Worf, alert Beverly on your way there and let her throw him out the airlock
The ship rocks as it's hit by an enemy vessel
Worf: The enemy vessel has fired phasers. Direct hit
Picard: (To Data) We have to do something about Worf; his stating the obvious is driving everyone crazy
Data: It will not be easy
The turn and look at Worf then turn back
Picard: You get the arms I'll get the legs?
Data: Agreed
Worf: There is an incoming message from the unknown vessel. Text only.
Data: On screen
They both read the message
Data: Mr Worf, what is the exact meaning of 'bitch-slapped'?
Logan: No, Geordi, you're doing it wrong! It's up then down!
Geordi: Well that's not what you told me!
Worf: Geordi, there is a hostile vessel approaching...
Geordi: Not now, Worf. Look, Larry, if we're gonna have a secret handshake for engineering, you've gotta tell me the right thing
Logan: I did!
Worf: It's powering up it's weapons
Logan: I told you! It's up, THEN down then high five, then...
Worf: They have fired phasers and photon torpedoes
Geordi: No you told me it was high five FIRST. And is it me up or you up?
Worf: Direct hit. We have been disarmed
LaForge: Well, I'm NOT finishing my report until Worf starts paying attention!
PICARD: Mister Data, can I have a word with you about your latest experiment with your appearance
DATA: If you prefer, I can do a Klingon forehead instead
Worf: "He does great forehead."
[Awkward silence]
Geordi: Well we pulled an all nighter but still can't figure out how to make the phasers go pew pew pew.
Picard: Merde.
Q: I'll be wanting that rolled up tube sock back!
Data: Sensors are picking up...a distressing amount of methane coming from the bridge, sir.
Troi: I sense profound relief, sir.
Picard: I should have spent more time on my crew roster instead of getting hammered on Chateau Picard and watching Wheel.
Worf: Worf to engineering, divert power to environmental control.
Data: I can't believe Laurie dies in the next season.
Worf: Do not spoiler my Walking Dead!
Zombie: nom nom nom....
Larry: Commander, I hope you're not checking out my junk.
Geordi: No, my VISOR is multispectral, not microscopic.
Worf: Snort.
Geordi: Worf, you've gotta stop doing this
Worf: It was the only option. She was annoying me
Picard: Mr Worf, you can't keep throwing people out the airlock whenever they annoy you!
Worf: She kept commenting on how angry I am
Geordi: That's her JOB!
Q: "Ok so that's 3 cheese burger deluxe, 1 pain burger, 1 raw burger for Mr Worf, 5 Pepsi's 1 prune juice for Worf, and a Poutine for the captain?"
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