TNG Caption This! 319: Ready to Roll!

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Data: You don't consider yourselves part of the Federation? Then the Prime Directive applies and this is an internal Sheliak matter. We shall allow their colony ship to proceed with your extermination. Goodbye.

Captain's Log: So far our attempts to enhance Counselor Troi's intelligence with a positronic brain have failed.

Nuria: That is your holy sign?
Picard: This is the sign of the Picard thinking you're an idiot.

Picard: How dare you?!
Riker: That's right, yo. Here's a finger for you. You and you.
Troi: No wonder you're still first officer.

Picard: You have the bridge, Number One. I shall be making it so.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Nuria: "It doesn't look like you would imagine from this high up; I mean I've sometimes wondered what the world would look like if I were a bird, but that wasn't nearly this high, of course; I was in a really high tree one time when I was a child, and everything looked kind of different, but not like this; I heard a song once about a bird flying high in the sky... Do you have a headache, Picard? My ex-husbands both had trouble with headaches, too!"

 

[Vulcan Logician]

I understand, Beverly, but why must I play the role of this... "Prince Charming"?

 

[Third Nacelle]

BEV: That's what this whole inception's about!? Jean-Luc, you know it's just a moldy clay pot.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NURIA: Looks like I'm a aboard a spaceship orbiting my homeworld. So, are you using dilithium or a singularity to power this ship? Do you know the Vulcans? My people originally came from their planet.

What? Did you think we were primitives or something?

 

[Trek Sifter]

Villagers: We have you now, Data. If we keep you surrounded, you cannot destroy our water supply.

Crusher: Betazoids require shiny pillows and blankets to recover properly.

Picard: Uh, you won't be contacting Mrs. Troi about Deanna's condition, now will you?

Crusher: That depends on what you have to offer me, Captain....

Nuria: I thought that from here we could see where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.... Picard?

Riker: I'm telling you, Scotty didn't have two fingers on his left hand. So it looked like this.

Picard: Wrong, Number One.... I doubt history is your strong suit.

Worf: Sensors indicate that we can verify this in Season 6.

Captain's Log, supplemental: I have been avoiding eye contact with Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi in the turbo lift as a mysterious gas emanated from one of them.

 

[Finn]

Crusher: Unfortunately, we won't be able to do anything until we get to Starbase 303

Picard: Why not?

Crusher: We are out of unreplicated chocolate ice cream

 

[dauntless]

/QUOTE]

CRUSHER: She's staring at me again, isn't she?
PICARD: Yup.

 

[Triskelion]

Captain, I believe I know why the villagers do not respect me. Please beam down your Dixon Hill trenchcoat.

Picard: I thought "Betazoid" meant something else.

Nuria: Too cheap for curtains?

No Number One, we would not like to hear how you brought the flipper lady to completion.

I don't always bang alien chicks. But when I do, I prefer Dos Exóticas.

 

[Vulcan Logician]

Troi (thinking): I sense that Dr. Crusher's attention is focused on... Captain Picard.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Data: Worst orgy EVER.

Crusher: So she went into a coma at the start of her shift on the bridge...

Picard: And we didn't notice till it ended 8 hours later. If anything, I felt she was contributing slightly more than usual.

When Patrick Stewart couldn't be arsed to learn his lines, he'd write them on his hand and subtly look at them during the scene.

Frakes: Now Patrick, in this scene I want you to react to the exploding ship on the viewscreen in the same way a badger would if he found a two-humped camel in his burrow. That's two humps mind, not one.

Stewart: Who thought it was a good idea to let you direct?

Picard: Aren't these new uniforms great? To be actually be able to breath, to not have them utterly totally skin tight? Am I right ladies?


Ladies?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Nuria: "But you haven't explained to me yet why your people were banished to outer space in the first place."

Crusher: "I'm really surprised at the size of her bed. From the rumors going around, I'd have thought she would at least have a queen-size."
Picard: "Don't be tacky."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER (thinking): I wish Jean-Luc would ask me out.

TROI: Just ask him, you simpering cow and stop setting back the women's movement four centuries!.....did I say that out loud?

 

[TommyR01D]

Data: Greetings, noble savages, I've come from faraway lands to teach you about the LORD Jesus Christ.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Please do not be alarmed. I assure you, I am not a mime.

 

[Dr. Crusher]

Data: You must think for yourselves--you are all individuals!
Crowd: We are all individuals. . .

 

[Dr. Crusher]

Data was completely unprepared to fulfill the required incantation of "The Cheese Stands Alone" at the end of the game.

 

[Triskelion]

It is called moonwalking, and yes, it is beyond human comprehension.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to speak to you about something we in the Federation call "Amway."

 

[NAHTMMM]

"Massive chocolate poisoning?"
"I'm afraid so. It was touch and go in the operating room, but luckily a carob infusion stabilized her."

"This isn't Feronxiljialbia! You've brought me to Ferunxiljialbia! Weren't you paying attention to the mission briefing?"