TNG Caption This! 303: He has claimed the right of captioning!

[Triskelion]

Captain's Log, Supplemental: My Craigslist ad for "Hot Betazoid Babes" is not having the desired response.

Riker: Do you really think we should be placing personal ads on the Captain's behalf?
Crusher: He disparaged my croissants. Now how do you spell "xenerotica fetish"?

 

[Holdfast]

K'EHLYER (panicked, thinking): C'mon doors, c'mon! Close, dammit, before he turns around and sees me!

DURAS: Buns of Steel, indeed, Worf.

It was more obvious when Picard & Riker fell asleep than when Geordi did.

DURAS: Twelve hookers and as much blow as you can handle. That's my final offer, Arbiter. Choose me as Chancellor!
GOWRON: Bah! Twelve hookers and more blow than you can handle. Look at my eyes, Picard, you know I know what I'm talking about.

CRUSHER: That's certainly a lot of contacts to trace.
RIKER: You need to scroll down some more.

ENTERPRISE-D: I came here to chew through dilithium crystals and kick ass... and I'm all out of dilithium crystals.





ooh, one more...

Always Outnumbered. Sadly quite often Outgunned...

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Captain's Log, Supplemental: I knew we should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque IV!

 

[Triskelion]

Crusher: My God, Will - Two and a Half Men was just the Andy Griffith show in Malibu!

Riker: Damn you Progenitors!!!

 

[Isis]

Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. We're being attacked, three ships to our one. What am I doing making a log entry?

 

[Mistral]

"Captain's Log, Stardate 63789.2- The senior staff assembled this afternoon for some kind of briefing. I am not sure what it was about, as I slept through the whole boring thing."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

"Captain's Log, personal reminder: Must remember to speak to Mr. Data about his incessantly staring at Ambassador K'Ehleyr's breasts."

 

[Captain April]

Crusher: It keeps saying PC LOAD LETTER.

Riker: What the fu..!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "I found some stuff Wesley has been writing. Really, really sick stuff."
Riker: "Maybe you should have Deanna talk to him."
Crusher: "It's about Deanna!"

 

[Triskelion]

K'Ehleyr: I've called you all here to discuss my pregnancy test. It was negative.

<All breathe sigh of relief>

Worf: ...?

 

[TommyR01D]

Gowron: Captain, are you paying attention?

Captain: I'm more interested in what appears to be some sort of rug covering a large hole in the briefing room ceiling.

 

[Triskelion]

Gowron: Tradition dictates that the Arbiter of Succession must lead us in a round of Frère Jacques sung in the original Klingon.

Picard: Very well. Ready? loDnI' Qugh, loDnI' Qugh, be'nallI lom, be'nallI lom....

Security Guard 1 <whispering to other guard>: Oh you just knew he'd know it.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

K'Ehleyr: I see you baby, shackin' that ass!

Duras: [looking after Worf, thinking] I wish I knew how to quit you.

Deanna and Beverly did attend the briefing, however they weren't sitting at the table...

Duras: What the fuck, Picard! I was told you had a hot blonde as a Security Chief! I get here and I found she didn't even survive the first season, but rather than replace her with another attractive women you opt for Worf?
Gowron: I know, right! Since he has his Counsellor sitting next to him in a low-cut onesie or micro miniskirt, I'd have thought the old horndog would want a sexy female behind him as well.

Crusher: Will, look at this. I noticed something odd on the sickbay security cameras.
Riker: What is it, Doctor?
Crusher: Doctor Selar always leaves the room a couple of minutes before Ambassador K'Ehleyr arrives. Then a few minutes after she leaves, Selar returns.
Riker: That is odd...

Troi: I believe this is a classic case of the Klingons over-compensating for other significant 'short comings'.

 

[Isis]

It was so boring out in space that particular day that Duras played "Mother, May I?" with the Enterprise crew.

Picard: "Nice try, but for optimal light reflection, a smooth pate is far superior to a ridged one."

 

[Richard III]

No Worf, I meant a different love tunnel.

Riker began to hate the Starfleet weightwatcher sessions.

"Captains Log, supplemental. No one must ever know that the latest war with the Klingons began with me whipping them at musical chairs."

The Phanton Menace DVD was a hit in Sickbay.

Enterprise was rubbish at the Wing Flap Game.

 

[Triskelion]

K'Ehleyr: For Feklar's sake Worf! Stop cropdusting!

Duras: Panty lines are not honorable!

K'Ehleyr: I can explain those films. I was young and needed to improve myself, to enrich myself.

Picard: What - no women?

Gowron: Spin the bottle is a warrior's game!

Crusher: Look at this, Will - here is Wesley naked at two, and here is Wesley naked at eighteen.

Riker: Sickbay emergency indeed, Doctor. Will you be sharing this study with the crew?

Crusher: Share it? I'm writing a paper on it.

Captain's log, supplemental: The ready room debriefing went as planned. Thank goodness I keep a clean pair in there.

 

[Ln X]

K'Ehleyr: Don't you leave me you spineless petaQ!

Duras: What is that traitor doing on your bridge Picard?
Picard: He's here for pawnage and humiliation Duras, what else is Worf good for?
Worf <thinking>: Bastards!

Picard: Far from me to interfere with the personal relationships of my crew, but you Worf and K'Ehleyr are to be kept separate or face a gruelling session of painsticks and tribbles.

Captain's log, supplemental: The debate over K'mpec's impotency continues...

 

[Ln X]

Picard's incessant blasting of Gangnam Style across the sector was soon met with a harsh response...

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Worf: I see someone stole Wesley's clothes again.

Riker: Man, I missed a lot of fun stuff when I had that Trill, huh?

 

[Nerys Myk]

K'Ehleyr: Ah, Worf? Maybe we should just leave.