TNG Caption This! 303: He has claimed the right of captioning!

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday everyone! I'm on time, sort of, again! Yippee!

First up to the plate, we have the "Social Interactions OF THE FUTURE!!!!" Award. going to:

Picard: No, Number One, I don't agree with you that technology is ruining our face-to-face interactions. Now, if you'll excuse me, Computer, contact Lt. Worf, I wish to speak with him immediately!

Next, we have the "A Simpler Life" Award, going to:

Troi: Which would you like to talk about today, your Borg abduction, your Cardassian torture, or your life on Kataan?

Picard: (Thinking) I should have taken that job with Louis. How hard could it be to stack dirt in the Atlantic Ocean?

Next, we have the "State of Disrepair" Award, going to:

Data: "Geordi, is that nacelle supposed to be smoking like that?"

Next, we have the "Called that one wrong" Award, going to:

Data: Thank you for the offer, but I suspect your gaydar is broken.

Next, we have the "Diplomatic Mission" Award, going to:

Picard: Is there a reward if we find your puppy?

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

PICARD: ...the hell???? Did they change the Romulan make-up and not tell us?

When times became difficult in the 24th Century, many did whatever they needed to get by.

Jarok (in background): "I don't always drink Romulan ale, but when I do, I prefer..."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

And now, I'd like to announce that I will be making an announcement!

....

....

And now, The Announcement! For some time now, I've been wanting to add onto this contest. So, I decided to add a new Special Award to it. One type of caption I've always wanted to be in the contests more often, Captain's Log Entries. For some reason I'd really like for us to tackle that a little bit. And to encourage this, a Brand New Special Award!

The "Jean-Luc's Favorite Log Entry Award"

I'm working on an image for it. It will be ready for next week.

To get the new award started, I've added an extra image intended for it, but feel free to go for a Captain's Log Award on any image!

And also, continuing our journey through the TNG Seasons in honor of this contest reaching the 300 mark, we go to Season 4 and a Klingon Extravaganza, "Reunion!"

Let's begin!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

K'Ehleyr: Is it because you're impotent?

Duras: So anyway, life is going great for me in the Klingon Empire, so glad Worf took the fall for me. How is he doing?

Picard: I have called this meeting to discuss a troubling matter. Who has been leaving the heat on all night and running up the electric bill?

Gowron: Picard, most powerful and shiny of head, teach us in the ways of diplomacy.

Crusher: I'm trying to figure out who's been sending these racy emails from my system. Any ideas?

Riker: Wow! That's a good one... I mean, I'll look into it.

Captain's Log Supplemental: Apparently, the woman Riker jilted on Risa had powerful friends in the Klingon Empire...

 

[Nerys Myk]

K'EHLEYR: Yeah, it's a reuse of one of the movie sets. So what?

WORF: Discussing my bedroom performance is without honor!

CRUSHER: How am I supposed to know if he really wears assless chaps?

 

[T'Girl]

Worf: "K'Ehleyr ... you may exit the turbo lift ... I have killed the spider."

K'EHLEYR: Yeah, it's a reuse of one of the movie sets. So what?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Picard: "Captain's log. In order, um...ah...in order to more thoroughly check out some of the ship's newer systems--yeah, that's it!--I have decided to take the long way around to Beta Antares IV."

 

[Lance]

"Captain's Log, Stardate 43135.1. Our pizza delivery order from K'Targ's Pizza House has arrived. Unfortunately, it appears that Lieutenant Worf's request for 'No Anchovies' has been taken somewhat out of context..."

Duras: "A Klingon with HONOR would be HAPPY to have anchovies!"

Worf: (thinks) "But... I do not LIKE anchovies."

Picard: "Mister Worf... the future of the Klingon/Federation alliance hangs in the balance... surely you could accept the pizza, but simply pick off the anchovies?"

Worf: "I... WILL... NOT... HAVE... ANCHOVIES!!!"

K'Ehleyr "Oh Worf, don't be such a baby. Just eat the anchovies already!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

K'Ehleyr: "Well, in my defense, all I can say is that I was told everything that happens on the holodeck stays on the holodeck!"

 

[GameOn]

Picard: Mr Worf, are they a larger class Bird of Prey or is that Vor'cha just further away?

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

Worf: *Sigh* No! The corridor is not smaller at this end.

Duras: I see you're still sporting the Mary Tyler Moore haircut. Nice

All that's left now is gimmicks on the new season of The Bachelorette

Picard: Some day, and that day may never come... I may call upon you to do a service for me. Probably when I'm in deep shit with the Romulans

Riker: Where the hell did you get this god awful flat screen, the Czech Republic?

Captain's Log, Supplemental: At last, our embroidery supplies have arrived

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Are you crazy, Captain? One shot from just a Bird of Prey could destroy the ship!!!!

 

[shivkala]

TFTW, Leadhead!

K'Ehleyr: I do not understand the significance of this.

Worf: It is an old Earth custom when one party has to continue on, leaving behind their old life.

K'Ehleyr: Humans are difficult to understand.

Worf: Just play the song, K'Ehleyr.

K'Ehleyr: As you wish. *she hits play*

Duras: Hey, Worf, who has two thumbs and a father who was responsible for the death of your parents? This guy! Ha, I love that joke!

Picard: Sorry Worf, but you know it's an ancient Earth tradition to gather an audience, while the leader, or "Maury," reveals the results of the paternity test. So, anyway, Worf, son of Mogh, you are the father!

Picard: Actually, it's quite clear in the rules, the Arbiter of Succession must pick the candidate whose eyes bug out the farthest. In that case, there is no choice but to choose Gowron to be the next Klingon Chancellor.

Beverly: Here it is, Captain's Log Stardate 44246.3, Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, I read the forum letters and don't usually believe them.

This all changed last week...

Picard: Captain's Log, supplemental. We're screwed...

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Thank god he looked down. Those bug eyes were creeping me out.

...wait, did I say that outloud?

PICARD: Yep, I sure did.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "I protest. I do not have a nice ass!"

Duras: "Do not allow that P'takh anywhere near the meeting, Picard."
Worf: mumbling "Damn, I've been working on my Duras-ell gags as well. I would have so pwned him."

"Captain's Log, supplemental. Only Data would be indelicate enough to mention that Klingon sexual pheromones smell like Vulcan plomeek induced flatulence. LaForge is currently attempting to reassemble him, made all the more difficult after Worf ate some of his parts."

"Captain's Log Supplemental. In an attempt to prolong the ritual while Worf investigates the former Chancellor's death, I've resorted to making up additional tests. Having made Gowron and Duras face off Gagnam Style, I'm tempted to see just how far I can push it before they twig."

Riker: "Should you be surfing porn all day, Doctor?"

Data: "Aw shit man, it's the fuzz."
Picard: "Quick, hide the stash."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DURAS: And for your information Worf, it's pronounced "Door-us" not "Dour-ass"!

WORF: Whatever, Dumass.

 

[Isis]

LeadHead, TFTW.

Duras: "Why can't our ships battle it out today at the dinner hour and settle the dispute over this planet once and for all? What is this 'Super Bowl' you speak of?"

Worf (to self): "I really hope the captain holds his ground. I have too many quatloos riding on the game to watch it in anything but real time."

Worf: "Sir, was it really a good idea to put Deanna in charge of the January cable bill?"

Riker: "Well, it won't be as clear as cable, but at least we'll be able to watch the game."

 

[Isis]

Worf: "This'll teach me to leave my quarters without my communicator badge. Those who designed this ship are without honor--these corridors all look the same."

 

[Nerys Myk]

K'EHLEYR: We're on a Starship, Worf. Sneaking off without leaving your number isn't going to work!!!!!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Crusher: "It's an old Internet site called FanFiction.Net. There's a whole section about us! And, according to these stories, the only person on this ship I haven't slept with is Wesley!"
Riker: "Oh yeah? Check out AdultFanFiction.net."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: How the hell is McCoy beating me in the best Doctor poll? The man couldn't cure a cold!!!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks FTW!

K'Ehleyr: ...and I'll be sending a bill backdated for five years child support.

Duras: And the first thing I shall do as Chancellor is increase the amount of child support payable by absentee fathers.

Picard: Well Mr. Worf, I guess a condom doesn't seem so without honour now does it?

Gowron: And the eyes have it!

Crusher: You'll recover, but you're going to walk funny for a week. Again.

Captain's Log: The Klingons are clearly taking this meeting seriously as they haven't just sent stock footage from the first film.