RIKER: I was searching Beverly's office for her stash of drugs like you told me to when i found these.
PICARD: So this is what she did with Wesleys...you know...after she castrated him...
RIKER: Do you think maybe if we gave them back to him that he might not be such an annoying sissy?
PICARD: ...or we could attatch them to a photon torpedo and fire them into the sun.
RIKER: Why would we do that?
PICARD: Because it would be fun, Fun, FUN, in the sun, Sun, SUN!
RIKER: ...Did you start the drugs without me?
PICARD: Goldfish are standing on my toes Number One!
RIKER: I must say i always thought the reason you castrated Wesley was so you could keep em in a jar on the shelf in your office for show but all this time you've been secretly saving them for a when it was finally your turn to cook christmas dinner. Thats one hell of a secret ingrediant Beverly.
OR
Upon hearing that the secret ingrediant in Beverly's home cooked christmas dinner was Wesleys castrated testicles Worf attempted to regurgitate his food unnoticed whilst everyone else was busy trying to digest Rikers cheesy one liners.
DATA: I had heard that it is traditional to sing christmas carols and perform a nativity before the giving of presents but since none of you are willing to join me i will instead perform a one man rendition of A Christmas Carol in the original Klingon.
DATA: Gentlemen how do you like my portrait of Counselor Troi so far.
RIKER: Well you certainly got the dimensions right and you managed to convey her essential...err...personality quite accurately.
DATA: Why yes Counsellor your rear end does appear quite large in that outfit. It also makes you appear shorter and wider than you actually are. It does however provide a good view of your cleavage which is likely why the captain and other senior officers have not insisted that you wear your actual uniform.
TROI: ........................
DATA: Have i said something wrong Counsellor? You did ask for an honest analysis of the situation?
