TNG Caption This! 275: Quality Time

[Alrik]

Riker: "Sorry sir, for a moment I forgot that it was Casual Friday."

LaForge: "Another Bulls Eye. Nice shootin' Doc."

Crusher: "That was nothing. See that gnat up by the ceiling?"

LaForge: "Okay, now you're just showin' off."

O'Brien (whispering): "How do you know she's wearing a thong?"

Picard (whispering): "Watch this. (normal voice) Sure, I'll have a look, hand it hear. (Drops Padd on the floor) Oh clumsy me. Dianna, would you be a dear?"

Troi (thinking) Pervert.

Riker: "So I've got a horgan in one hand, and a firm, round butt in the other...."

Picard (O.S.): "Really Will, I think it would be best if you kept your Risan vacation stories to yourself."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: Sir, may I ask what's troubling you?

Picard: It's nothing, Number One. Just that...I'm wondering who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "The Duras Sisters? I could kick their asses with my butt. See?"

[He fires weapons with his bum.]

Picard: "It'd take a real schmuck to lose to those chumps."

Riker: "Yeah, heh. A real schmuck."

Geordi: "Do dee doo, just readin' the shield frequency like I do all the time because I'm the only one looking at it."

 

[Leviathan]

Rikers testimony was somewhat less than than convincing at the sexual harassment hearing.

 

[Velocity]

PICARD: Data, why is my bridge crew comatose?

DATA: I do not know, sir.

PICARD: Well, carry on while I notify Sickbay.

DATA: Carrying on, sir. My Cat, Spot---Verse 127. She's a pretty little kitty and she's so sweet--from her kitty nose to her little kitty feet.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FRAKES: What's the hold up?

STEWART: They changed Dorn's make up again and he's refusing to leave his dressing room.

FRAKES: So, it's not the first time they changed it.

STEWART: Might have something to do with Colm, Marina and myself chanting "Fanny head. Fanny Head."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Riker: "Well of course I grabbed her breasts."

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: You and Geordi have been building model ships with super glue again haven't you.

Picard: What makes you say that Numbah One?

Riker: Geordi's got his hand stuck to an aft console and you've got your ass stuck to tactical.

Riker: What's with the pungent odor and the wet trail on the carpet?

Picard: Datah's incontinent cat got on the bridge.

Geordi, slightly gagging: Dayum! We're gonna need a new bridge module 'cause there ain't enough Febreze in the Alpha Quadrant to cover up this stench.

 

[Isis]

After Picard butt-steered the ship into the next galaxy, he was always more careful where he sat.

Picard: "Well, at least I beat that self-righteous Worf and that ditzy Troi for Employee of the Month."

<brief pause>

Picard: "They're right behind me, aren't they?"

 

[Isis]

Picard (OS): "OK, you did take out that mugatu with one bullet, but it was actually a pretty small one."

 

[Holdfast]

RIKER: 40% over 40, you say? I like those odds.

 

[LeadHead]

New contest will be started later today!

 

[inflatabledalek]

FRAKES: What's the hold up?

STEWART: They changed Dorn's make up again and he's refusing to leave his dressing room.

FRAKES: So, it's not the first time they changed it.

STEWART: Might have something to do with Colm, Marina and myself chanting "Fanny head. Fanny Head."

Frakes: Wait... Do you mean "Fanny" in the American or British sense?

Stewart: British of course.

Frakes: Bloody hell.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: Silent, sir?

Picard: Deadly, Number One.

Geordi (gagging): If I wasn't already blind, I would be now!

 

[LeadHead]

New contest is up!