TNG Caption This! 265: Just Another Day at the Office...

[LeadHead]

Good evening Captioners! I will be honest with you about when next week's contest will start. I do not know. I will be moving and that can cause delays. The good news is, once that's done I should have clear sailing on starting on time for awhile. So lets get to the winners!

First up to the plate, we have the "Really Stinky Klingon Martial Arts" Award, going to:

Worf: "OK, who forgot to put on their deodorant this morning?"

Next, we have the "LeadHead's Defense Counsel" Award, going to:

The Slight Lateness In The Start of This Contest Had Nothing to do With Leadhead Taking a Real Long Time To Chose The Perfect Screengrab From This Scene And Anyone Who Says Otherwise IS A LIAR.

Next, we have the "Cultural Contamination" Award, going to:

DATA: It would appear this culture was influenced the "Benny Hill Show" recordings left by the SS Horizon.

Next, we have the "Unintended Side Effects" Award, going to:

Annoying Boy: "What happen to it after the match?"
Picard: "It goes through the wall, climbs two decks, and makes Councilor Troi pregnant.

Next, we have the "Truer Words were Never Spoken" Award, going to:

Will Riker: "I've always wondered what that red symbol in the center of the pad means."
Kyle Riker: "I know that language. It says, 'Hey, look at the two dorks!'"

Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Worf: Sir, are you sure this new holodeck program will provide sufficient training?

Riker: Worf, it's a game from the 20th called Tron. I'm sure it will be sufficient enough for you...

Troi: "The fanboys are gonna die when this episode makes it to BluRay."

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated! And now, I hope very much to get the next contest up on time or at least close to it, but I can make no promises. Lets start the new one!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Worf: (thinking) That's the third false "Dismissed" he's given.

Picard: Harry's Law has been cancelled?! Red Alert!

Worf's dates often ended this way.

Picard: I confess, I shaved my head and it stayed that way.

Riker: I know that look. It's arm rest envy.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TED BAXTER: It all started at a 5000 watt radio station in Fresno, California....

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Childbirth, how hard could it really have been?

 

[Lanny77]

DATA: The cultural practises of these people is most unusual. They appear to spend an inordinate amount of time at a place called the For'Um, discussing the meanings of a variety of stories, arguing minute flaws in others and attempting to write their own fiction, with varying levels of sucess

PICARD: Fascinating

DATA: Indeed. However, the practises of a cult called Capt'Ion This are particually disturbing...

 

[Finn]

Riker: How do you like the First Officer's chair?

Data: I am incapable of having pleasure in a chair assigned to that of a superior rank. However, I can function without having a crotch in my face now.

 

[Kirby]

Troi: Less Filling!
Worf: Tastes Great!

Data: Sensor scans indicate that it's 'less filling' ratio outnumbers it's 'tastes great' percentage by a factor of 2.01768.

Kehlar: I have extracted this from your posterior.

 

[boco]

Riker: Do androids fart?
Data: Yes
Riker : Don't fart in my chair!

 

[Holdfast]

I will be moving and that can cause delays.

Good luck with the move; hope all goes well.

Last one to let go of the table gets to take it home!

DATA: As you can see, we've located the missing twin ambassadors from the planet Sapphos in Commander Riker's quarters.

WORF: So, my new wife... the laundry's in the hamper, there's a pile of ironing still to do, I want filet mignon for dinner tonight and when you go shopping make sure to buy the bananas that are still just a tiny little bit green. Oh, and drop the shuttle off for servicing on your way back. OK?

PICARD: Yes, I'm well. The Cardassians are very courteous hosts. I mean, look how they've framed themselves nicely for this shot.

WORF: Commander, you do realise Data can just reprogram his eyelids so he will never blink first, don't you?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Guy at head of table "Now, now, there's no reason to fight over it! You're both very pretty!"

Data: "It is an entertainment program from twentieth-century Earth called 'Cop Rock.' And, as far as I have been able to determine, it was just as bewildering to the people of that century as it is to us."

Worf: "Now, now, there's no reason to fight over it! You're both very pretty!"

 

[Ln X]

Old alien guy: And my surveillance cameras clearly showed lieutenant Barclay enter Counsellor Troi's quarters and together they performed multiple acts of erm... intimacy.
Troi: That's not true!
Worf: You! You betrayed me, and if you were not a woman I would disembowel you right here!
Riker: Wait a minute! That is an incredibly sexist attitude Mr Worf; so she cheated on you big deal!

Data: The chart sir is pretty clear, hormonal levels have increased considerably over the last three weeks, perhaps explaining the recent spate of kissing and intimacy on the ship.
Picard: What do you believe is the cause for this... behaviour?
Data: The elevated testosterone levels would suggest a young man in the heat...
Wesley: (gulps) Sir I think I have an-
Picard: Shut up Wesley!

K'Ehleyr: You Romulan slime beetle! Don't you dare leave me!

Watching the torture clips of Picard was the best way for Data to practice his laughing...

Data: Sir, given I can multi-task, perform the role of first officer and man the tactical station. May I suggest you relieve Worf of duty?
Riker: Could idea Mr Data, it saves me from putting up with his obnoxious smell.
Data: Mr Worf you are relieved. Please report to duty when you smell nice and make use of perfume or deodorant!

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks FTW!

Worf: Sir, I insist! Captain Picard really has been replaced by an imposter!

Picard: So it looks like I'll go onto have a movie career whilst the rest of you are stuck trading on your Trek glory days by doing cameos in The Big Bang Theory. Except for you Troi. You've got nothing.

Worf: I honestly don't know what made me call out Selar's name...

Riker: Damn, I was hoping to tune into Troi and Crusher working out again.

Data: Sir, request permission to move to Councillor Troi's seat. Your ass grove is a bit too large for comfort.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

All: "Shut Up Wesley!"

 

[Stephen!]

 

[Nerys Myk]

Few fans realized the Alexander Siddig played Wesley for one episode.

 

[shivkala]

Ah yes, the old, "Krazy Glue on the table trick..."

Video playing on the screen
Data: So as you can see from the video, Lt. Worf does have a legitimate complaint. Several, in fact.
Wesley: Wow, and I thought I had it bad...
Troi, Picard, Data, and LaForge: Shut up, Wesley!

Worf: That's it, I'm out of here. I got 99 problems and a lo'be'voS ain't one of them.

Picard: These Cardassians are so stupid! They can't even count correctly. I mean, come on, even a Pak'led can count four lights and not mistake it for five. They are so stupid...They're right behind me, aren't they?

Riker: What, exactly is it you are doing?
Data: I believe it was called the Al Bundy, if my historical research is correct.
Riker: Well, whatever it is...stop. Just, stop.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I for one welcome our new Cardassian overlords.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "No, I don't know how my number got on your wife's cell phone! Now, bugger off! I'm busy!"

 

[Mojochi]

The psych-out stares got more intense with every round of musical chairs

Mr Barclay's "Goddess of Empathy" holodeck programs went viral in minutes

Worf: I can already tell he's going to be a whiny little bastard

Where'd you get this cheap ass iPod, Taiwan?

Riker: Does he still look pissed that everybody got promoted but him?

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: So.... it turns out taking shortcuts through Cardassian Territory is a bad thing.... come bail me out would ya?