TNG Caption This! 243: Strange Things are happening...

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday Everyone! Lets get to business!

First up to the plate, we have the "Huh, Fancy that" Award, going to:

Lwaxana: "Mr Woof, will you please tell me where Captain Picard is?"
Worf: "Madam, I am not authorised to divulge that information. I suggest you ask the ship's computer."
Lwaxana: "I did, it keeps saying it's classified information. I may as well just talk to myself."

Next, we have the "Proper Footwear" Award, going to:

Security Guard on left: "Hey, Wesley--next time you try to evade us, sneakers might be a better choice than tap shoes."

Next, we have the "Careful, don;t bring Wayne Brady in on that," Award, going to:

BARCLAY: Is Reg gonna have to smack a bitch?

LAFORGE: Uhhh, You said that out loud, Reg.

Next, we have the "Shoot First, Warn Later" Award, going to:

Worf: *ZAP* "Stop. Or I'll shoot."

Security Officer: "We really need to work on your timing."

Next, we have the "To Boldly Get stuck in a Sugary Substance" Award, going to:

GUINAN: Don't be too hasty, Data. We can learn a lot from the Jell-O Nebula here.

Our Photoshop/Awesome Teamwork Award, goes to:

Guinan: "You might want to remind the captain, while he's making announcements to the crew that everything is completely normal and there's nothing out of the ordinary to be concerned about, that we have a big, f***ing window down here."

No. It should have been this...

Guinan: "You might want to remind the captain, while he's making announcements to the crew that everything is completely normal and there's nothing out of the ordinary to be concerned about, that we have a big, f***ing window down here."

[Riker leans on console. Several button sounds are heard]

Computer: Self-destruct activated. Initiating one minute countdown. 60. 59. 58.

Barclay: Dumbass, how many times do we have to tell you?

Barclay and Geordi in unison: DON'T LEAN OR SIT ON THE FUCKING CONSOLES!

Riker: I Know! I KNOW!!

Thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to all of our winners! As I mentioned in the last contest, I'm looking at doing some new Special Awards once we get to the new year. Cycling through a number of them during the contests, not just using the Klingon Belly Laugh all the time. If you happen to have an idea for one, please send me a PM, I'd love to hear your ideas!

Now, on with the Contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Spock Hologram: This is Ambassador Spock of Vulcan, by now you should know that you can save a lot of money on your Auto Insurance by switching to Geico.

Spock: Oh, brother....

Worf: Are you sure we should open that?

Yar: We're on Transylvania 6, one of safest places in the quadrant, what could go wrong?

Crusher: (over comm) Crusher to Picard, I think we should see other people.

Picard: We're not dating.

Crusher: (over comm) Damn right we aren't.

Picard: Mister La Forge, I was so pleased to hear that you has a successful first date last night. Keep up the good work!

La Forge: (off screen) Data, just because I said "American Pie" seems to go on forever, doesn't mean you need to keep playing it over and over and over...
Enjoy![/QUOTE]

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data, singing softly: I'm not a robot / without emotion / I'm not what you see...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the co-win!

Picard: "Good news, Geordi! I checked your service record, and you have already achieved all the prerequisites for attending either Starfleet's Advanced Command Training or Advanced Engineering School! Incidentally, you also meet the celibacy requirements for the Starfleet Chaplain Corp!"

 

[bullethead]

Spock was not surprised that the Romulans omitted the forearms and hands from his holographic duplicate. Many a tired Romulan told him of hologram developers being verbally flogged for tiny mistakes. No hands were better than bad hands.

Unbeknownst to Tasha, today was the day she was to be sacrificed on the altar of the Plot Gods.

Picard: So... you're taking my desk laptop?
Admiral Nechayev: And all your other desk decorations. Be glad we're letting you keep the padd.
Picard: But all I did was follow my principles-
Nechayev: Screw your principles! You should be killing some Borg at every opportunity! Now think about what you've done like the bad little captain you are!

Picard: Ah, Geordi! Just the person I need.
Geordi: What's going on sir?
Picard: Oh nothing, I just need you to sabotage the transporters so that Admiral Nechayev gets beamed out into space the next time she comes by.
Worf: Right... just ignore the fact that I exist.

Data's impromptu performance of "All Along the Watchtower" was frowned upon all who saw it, especially the pottery.

 

[Isis]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead.

Spock: "If one accepts the premise, 'Forewarned is forearmed,' it is only logical to conclude that my double was not forewarned."

 

[Bob Karo]

Picard: It's alright, Mr. LaForge. You'll meet the right one someday.

Worf: Sir, I protest. It is dishonorable and cruel to get his hopes up.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Do you recall me mentioning that I knew your mother at the Academy.

GEORDIE: Yeah, so?

PICARD: Well, I knew your mother at the Academy, if you catch my drift. And....

WORF: This can't end well.

 

[SilentP]

Picard: Awww, did Ensign Cwusher have a widdle boo boo?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: I am curious, Ambassador. When you used the phrase "Give me a hand," did you intend this literally?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (thinking): "Mmm. Pez. Cherry. ... Stale."

 

[Unimatrix Zero]

When Spock got to meet his dangerous doppleganger from a mirror universe, he realised that he was, in fact, 'armless.

 

[Finn]

Spock: They'd probably measure and compare our noses.

Picard: I get it now! A blind pilot *chuckle*

 

[doubleohfive]

Picard: I get it now! A blind pilot *chuckle*

 

[Gary7]

Spock: "You find it peculiar that I have a wax dummy replica of myself?"

Every year, Data holds a celebration in the underground caves of San Francisco, reciting works written by Samuel Clemens.

Beverly: (OS) "Isn't it wonderful, Jean-Luc? You're going to be a father!"
And all he could do was look at the positive indicator on the pregnancy tester

Picard: "I'm really glad to see you two finally getting along."

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "Somehow this seems hauntingly familiar..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Curious, the name on the stone does not match the records of who is buried here.

RIKER: Funny,the empty grave is what's bothering me.

 

[Mojochi]

Spock: An admirable replica. However, It's Vulcan salute leaves much to be desired

Data: Borg fossils sir

Little did the crew know that Picard wasn't dull... just hypoglycemic

Picard: Well done! I couldn't have lasted half as long holding a conversation with him. Carry on!

His John Denver covers just lacked a little something

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Who are you?

Spock 2: I'm you, 10 minutes from now.

Doctor Evil: Seize them!

Riker: (over comm) Riker to Picard, a female Admiral is coming aboard.

Picard: That's-

Riker: (over comm) Whoops, it's Admiral Nechayev.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Who the hell would send me the data on a flashdrive?