TNG Caption This #226: Hello, Welcome

[LeadHead]

Picard: I don't like this rifle, send them all to DS9 have someone make us some sleeker ones for the movies.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Tell me, Commander, does anything about this weapon say 'badass' to you?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD(reading): Manufactured by the Quark Corp.

RIKER: Isn't the the same company who designed our consols?

PICARD: Do you smell something burning?

 

[Isis]

Picard: "I must...I must...I must increase my bust."

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: You really gotta cut down on the amount of toilet paper you use. The system can't handle it.

 

[Skywalker]

Picard: "Tell me, Commander, does anything about this weapon say 'badass' to you?"

Riker: "Well, sir, it does say 'Bad Mother Fucker' on it."
Picard: "Ah. This must be Mr. Winnfield's, then."

 

[KNH]

Data: "Captain, the entity keeps repeating the four-letter-sequence N-Y-A-N."

 

[BriGuy]

Geordi: The best thing about this VISOR is Troi doesn't know I've been staring at her boobs the entire time...

Picard: It's a faaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkeeeeeeee!!!!!

 

[BriGuy]

We've secretly replaced Captain Picard's phaser rifle with a studio-quality replica issued by the Franklin Mint, based on authentic filming computer models.

Let's see if he can tell the difference.

 

[BriGuy]

And they learned the hard way never to interrupt Commander Riker when he's in a holodek program with Minuet...

 

[BriGuy]

Picard: Enough, Mr. Worf. We get it - your hemorrhoids are acting up. We'll take the chair away from your station. You'll never have to sit down again. I just hope you're OK with standing every shift for the duration of our mission.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Observe! As I bend this hand vac with nothing more than the powah of my mind.
Riker: That's a phaser, captain.
Picard: Observe! As I bend this phaser with nothing more than the powah of my mind.
Riker: I think I just realized why your quarters are pitted with holes.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: Mister Worf, how long will the flares last?

Worf (O.C.): According to the survey filed by Captain Robau, forever.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Right Worf, that's the last time I'll let you take the pictures as the monthly staff BBQ.

Troi: Look! There goes my accent.

Worf: *SNIFF* Yeah, I should have washed my hands after that Worf's Happy Time session I had earlier.

Riker: YOU WILL EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL THE ARC PLOT IN THE X-FILES WAS ALL ABOUT!

Picard: Suffering from phaser rifle envy Number One? Not for the first time, eh?

 

[Gary7]

Deanna: "See? Look at this thumbnail. Mr. Mott did a terrible manicure job."
Geordi: "Hmmmm... good thing I brought along my special nail refinishing tools."

 

[Gary7]

Picard: "Well Mr. Worf, you said you wanted to go someplace hot for your vacation. Enjoy!"
Riker: "Transporter room, energize."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Ugh! I will never choose 'Dare' again!"

 

[Finn]

Geordi: (OS) Hey Wes... Not bad!

 

[Gary7]

Riker had offered Picard a challenge, suggesting he'd long forgotten how to field strip a phaser rifle. Picard claimed that he'd prove him wrong in just a few moments...

Picard: (thinking) Oh damned. It doesn't pull or twist apart. What the hell do I do?

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: And that need to be fixed. Also your status reports are late. Barclay's backsliding again. Clean that up...

LAFORGE (thinking):Ever since she pass than damned Bridge Commander's test she thinks she's in charge.