TNG Caption This #212: Special Occaisons

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday to one and all! thanks for a great week, now lets get to business!

Leading off, we have the "Planned Android Parenthood" Award goes to:

DATA: Interesting, I appear to be pregnant.

Next, the "Won't you guide my Garbage Scow tonight?" Award goes to:

Data: Rudolph?!?

Next, the "Still needs work" Award goes to:

But Dr. Crusher said I was getting much better at ball room dancing

Next, the "Professional Credentials" Award goes to:

CRUSHER: Yes, I am a proctologist. Why do you ask?

Next, the "No Tag backs" Award goes to:

Picard: "Tag. You're it."

This time I think Worf's laughing on multiple levels. Lets see...

Picard: "No, Deanna, Worf's biceps are bigger. Trust me."

Congratulations to all of our winners and thanks to all who participated. Now, lets get the next one rolling!

Begin Captioning!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard and Riker often kept the lights low on the bridge during their hangovers.

Worf: I just hit him, and he went down. I thought he was supposed to be near indestructible.

Picard: You forgot to mention that you hit him with an Electromagnet, Worf.

Worf: Hey as long as people know I won a fight. Who cares?

Wesley: You're not going to tell me to shut up again are you?

Picard: Of course not, it's Commander Riker's turn.

At this moment, Riker is sitting on the Warp Containment controls and Picard is leaning on the override, we live for another day.

Data: A Gift card? Doesn't anyone understand my personality?

Pulaski: You have one?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Well, I'll be damned! Molybdenum-cobalt polyalloy frame, bioplast sheeting skin, cortenide and duranium skull, and...a glass jaw!"

 

[Maurice]

Worst. Blow-up doll. Ever.

 

[BlobVanDam]

Data - Yes sir, I can access all of the surveillance cameras from here, although I thought we were supposed to have cameras in all of the halls? All I see is showers.
Riker - Yeah, that's why there are none in the halls anymore.

Picard - Don't be shy, Wesley. I always let it hang out like this on the bridge. It's the captain's privilege.

Picard - Intervention? But I swear the Starfleet rules allow me to let my wang out on the bridge.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Data: "It would seem you forgot, once more, to pay the antimatter bill, captain."

Worf: "The TV was showing Stargate Universe."

Picard: "Dear God. He must be bored out of his mind."

Wesely: "Are you wearing regular pants yet?"

Picard: "I need you three to convince Numbah One to stop pushing buttons with his arsecheeks."

Data: "Mass analysis and thermal spectromety indicates that this is a copy of Warp, What Is It Good For?. My analysis has indicated that 45 percent of the gifts presented to me were this specific item."

 

[Finn]

It was at this moment that Data realized he shouldn't have put the gift he found under Tasha's bed just after she died, with the rest of the presents.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Data: "I have run a level three diagnostic. All systems appear normal. The EPS flow to the bridge is within normal parameters. Control systems and internal monitors are operating within established Starfleet norms... I am at a loss."

Picard: "Co-ordinate with Engineering. Run a level five diagnostic on the tertiary EPS manifold. Have LaForge tear down the whole conduit if necessary."

Riker: "Have you tried changing the bulb?"

...
...

Data: "Damn!"

Picard: "Did you have to deactivate him Worf?"
Worf: "I'm sorry sir, he snuck up behind me and I mistook him for a mime."

Wesley: "... also known as Picard the butch, Picard the manly..."

Riker: violently breaks wind

Computer: "Self destruct sequence initiated. 4 minutes until execution."

Picard: explosively breaks wind

Computer: "Self destruct deactivated.

Worf: "Impressive. You must teach me how to do that."

Picard and Riker: "Do what?"

Data: "A can of WD40. Why Doctor, you shouldn't have."
Pulsaki: "It was nothing."
Data: "No really, you shouldn't have."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: It's just a bloody internet meme, I don't wear assless chaps!!!!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard: "What Happened?"

Worf: "Smelled one of his own farts"

Picard: "My lord"

PICARD: "Welcome to the bridge Wesley I'm very happy to see you"
Wesley: " I can see, that what scares me"

 

[Isis]

Picard: "Wesley, why are you hesitating?"

Wesley: "Well, uh..."

Picard: "OK, that tells me enough--your mother made you wear the skant today."

 

[Isis]

Wesley: "Knock, knock."

Picard: "Who's there?"

Wesley: "Q."

Picard: "Q who?"

Wesley: "Q get out of the way? I'm sick of looking at your ugly face."

 

[Alrik]

Thanks for the Win LH!

Picard: "Yes Worf, he does appear to be broken."

Worf: "Perhaps he is still under Warrenty."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Picard: Damn. I knew we shouldn't have installed windows on his systems

Worf: We could try Linux...

Picard: Make it so!!

Worf: You go first Wesley. You're the least likely to get your ass kicked

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Show me on the android where Dr. Pulaski touched you.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Why is that child hiding in the turbolift?
Worf: You did tell him to get off your bridge.
Picard: I meant for him to GO somewhere.
Wesley: Where, sir?
Picard: I can't say that in front of children.

Worf: It appears to be a robot.
Picard: Very astute.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Picard: "I need you three to convince Numbah One to stop pushing buttons with his arsecheeks."

The effects are devastating.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Worf: I cannot switch him back on sir.
Picard: But he was to accompany me to meet Lwaxana Tr... Oh. Right.

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Can anyone see their consoles?

Data: No Sir.

Picard: Very well, we've established that lowering the light levels when Red Alert is called is a bad idea. We'll make sure to tell Voyager once they come back from the badlands.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: What's wrong with Data?"

Worf: "Ron Jones just left the show."