TNG Caption This #206: What are your intentions?

[LeadHead]

Happy Friday everyone, I think it's time for a new caption contest.

First up, the "Well, if you were wearing TMP costumes...." Award goes to:

Picard: "... and they say our uniforms look like pyjamas..."

Next, the "Over thinking things" Award goes to:

Worf: Next time, Doctor, you must focus your mind and attune your body. The key to a successful ...

Crusher: Worf, it was the staff wheelbarrow race and we lost. Accept it.

Next, the "Geez, it's the Cops!" Award goes to:

Riker: Dammit! Five-o. Ro, can you shake them?
Ro: Why are they even pursuing us?!
Riker: I may have picked up a few outstanding warrants while on Risa...

Next, the "Expendable Ambassadors" Award goes to:

Picard: "Mr Worf, open a hailing channel to the ambassador's ship."

BOOM!!!

Worf (over comm): "Oops."

And the, "Precursor to 'Genesis' Award" goes to:

DATA: I don't see it.

RIKER: See what?

DATA: Your resemblance to a Neanderthal, as mentioned by Counselor Troi. Cro-Mangon, yes but not Neanderthal.

Announcer: ""This isn't science fiction; this is life in the United States Navy...No, wait a minute, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is science fiction. Sorry for the mixup."

Congratulations to our winners and thanks to all our participants!

 

[LeadHead]

Since nobody had pockets in the 24th century, pickpockets were always on the look out for Starfleet Away Teams.

Lal: What? I never kissed him with a beard before.

Troi: Captain, I sense your conflict. Believe me, a toupee would not help.

Some days Crusher just stood around waiting for someone to compliment her behind.

Scotty: A Klingon. Oh no!

Worf: Relax, I'm a post-TUC Klingon, we have a system of honor now.

 

[Holdfast]

First up, the "Well, if you were wearing TMP costumes...." Award goes to:

Spoiler: WINNING!

Picard: "... and they say our uniforms look like pyjamas..."

Yay! Thanks for the win! You get another thread-sticky as a kickback.

New this Season: "When Bar Pick-Ups Go Bad"

"I'm afraid it's true Captain; you failed the Pepsi Challenge."

"Geordi, fix my damn scanner in Sickbay!"
"No need to wait. Just lean over Dr Crusher, and I can do the mammogram right here."

 

[Vulpes]

Boy, these tailors mean business!

Sadly, the role of "person whose arm was in the lower right-hand corner" went uncredited.

Troi acts as the judge in the All-Federation Staring Contest finals.

Crusher: "Play it again, Geordie. Play "As Spacetime Goes By".

Feeling lost in 24th century society, Scotty found work as a shuttlecraft valet.

 

[LeadHead]

Yay! Thanks for the win! You get another thread-sticky as a kickback.

SHHHHHH!

Cop: I'm sorry, but we're taking you into custody on suspicion of bribing LeadHead in caption contests.

 

[UssGlenn]

Worf: "I wonder if he realizes his shoe is untied."

Riker: "...whiskey?"

(bonus points to whoever recognizes what movie I'm referencing)

Picard (thinking): "Don't look at her chest, Don't look at her chest, Don't look at her chest."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Troi: But, Captain, I chose this dress to invite everyone to look at my cleavage. It's OK! Look!

 

[Subcommander R.]

Man on Left: Worf, I am disappoint.

Data: Commander, I must inform you that in the event of an unexpected pregnancy I am programed to 'fetch the shotgun.'

Guinan: Its true, but if you call tech support...

Picard: And suddenly I see it all so clearly, I am the little boy on the tricycle. And the first day of school is the high expectations of my father...

Geordi: Whatcha thinking about?

Crusher: I dunno, Doctor stuff I guess.

Scotty: Och Laddie, didn't I see ye back in 2293 defending Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy in court?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Man on left: "Deep Space Nine Walmart security, sir! Do you have a receipt for this dustbuster?"

Guinan: "Now, Lal, give him a right hook to the chin to put him on the deck! Then jump over the counter and frog march him out the door!"
Riker: "What the hell?! I thought you were training her as a waiter!"
Guinan: "I've got waiters! I need a bouncer!"

Troi: "I'm glad you told me, Jean Luc; I know it wasn't easy. And I love you, too...just...not that way. More like as an older, creepy grandfather way."

LaForge: "Have you got your foot up on my chair again?"
Crusher: "It's not your chair. It belongs to Starfleet."
LaForge: "Fine! Next time I'm in Sickbay, I'm gonna hock up a loogie on Starfleet's carpeting!"

 

[Supernuke]

Guinan: What's going on here?
Riker: She tried to take my lunch money!!

 

[Cpt. Chris Pike]

The mall cops started to get a bit more serious about their jobs. Unfortunately, they made Worf an example.

Guinan: No Lal, bar fights happen on the other side of the bar. Please go around and proceed to whip his butt.

Troi: It's not that bad Captain, I am sure with a bit more practice you will win next years coloring contest.

Laforge: Uhhmm.. Doctor.. I cant enter my password to World of Warcraft with you standing over me like that.

Scotty: I gotta lay off the Romulan ale... Some people see pink elephants, I see Klingons!

 

[Isis]

Sadly, the role of "person whose arm was in the lower right-hand corner" went uncredited.

Nevertheless, in the post-TNG years, she was extremely well received at conventions.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF (thinking): At least this time I didn't get beat up.

LAL: Scruffy bastard tried to stiff me.

TROI: I told you a threesome was a bad idea. There's always an odd man out.

CRUSHER: Press the red button again.

LA FORGE: What?

CRUSHER: Just do it!

LA FORGE: We cant just go handing shuttles out like candy! This isn't Voyager!

 

[Vulpes]

Worf: All this to board an airplane.
OR
Worf: I swear, officer, it was just for my personal use!

Lal: He's got "ring around the collar".

Troi: I'm sorry, captain, but I feel your "here is the church, here is the steeple" lacks enthusiasm.

Geordie: Doctor, how are we supposed to play Battleship if you keep looking over here?

Geordie: Worf! You're facing the wrong way, the shuttlecraft's behind you!
OR
Scotty: I'm sorry, but you gentlemen make lousy escorts.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Burton: "Hey, Gates, is that a big, honkin', red wig you're wearing?"
McFadden: "Is that a hair barrette you're wearing?"
Burton: "Touche."

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Picard: (don't think about tits don't think about tits don't think about tits) So, you say you used to live in cleavage I MEAN, Cleveland?

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Store Security; If you can come with us please sir, next time pay for the Braun.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Lal: Guinan, may I keep him?

Picard's discovery of Troi's Freudian loyalties came -- alas -- all too late.

Scotty, mid-conversation: ...these new-fangled shuttles are as ugly as a bare-assed Klin-- beg yer pardon, laddie -- Klingon playin' lacrosse!"

Brownshirts: Keep movin', Alliance-boy.
Worf: I am not a member of the Union of Allied Planets! I represent the United Federatio-
Brownshirts: Call it whatever you want, this here's Independent territority.

 

[Finn]

Guinan: It's not Data you should be worried about, Commander

*taps combadge*

Guinan: Guinan to Picard

Picard: Picard here...

Guinan: There has been a development in Ten Forward. I understand the counselor is with you right now. I think she better come down and see this.

Troi: *sigh* Allright, I turn my back for a moment and there goes Will. Captain, I'll have to cut this short"

Picard nods

Picard: Thank you, Guinan. She's on her way

Picard: *sips a cup of Earl Grey*

Picard: Picard to Crusher

Crusher: Crusher here. Have you got something here. I'm down here in Engineering and all bored. I'm with Geordi, you know.

Geordi: I can hear you, Doctor!

Crusher: Whatever. Sorry about that, Jean-Luc. What's up?

Picard: I suggest you go up to Ten Forward. Riker is at it again.

Crusher: *sigh* Understood. I'm on my way.

 

[Whoa Nellie]

Riker: "...whiskey?"

(bonus points to whoever recognizes what movie I'm referencing)

Data to Guinan: "Shoot them. Shoot them both."

Warmest Wishes,
Whoa Nellie