TNG Caption This #205: Wait... What happened here?

[LeadHead]

Good Evening to everyone! St. Patricks Day is now behind us and a new contest is ahead of us!

Lets get started, Captain? Anything to say?

Good, now that we've got that out of the way, first up:

The "Dorothy Crusher, ScareRiker, Tin Data and Cowardly Worf" Award goes to:

Picard (OS): Dammit! I said 'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!'

Next, the "Product Placement and Destruction" Award goes to:

Geordi was too busy playing Minecraft on his visor to watch for Picard's TribblePockets.

The "Someone Had to go there" Award goes to:

LaForge: LAREN! I gave no orders for firing at will!

The "Cross Contest Zinger" Award goes to:

Picard did a really poor job of channeling Colonel Green. Ironically, all he would have had to do this week was go to the TOS caption contest.

Next, the "No, Data. Just No." Award goes to:

Data: "In my continuing efforts to understand humanity, I am attempting to explore my homosexual feelings through a series of dating scenarios. But I will need a partner. Lieutenant Worf, would you mind--"
Worf: "Yes! I mind!"

Crusher: Let's go in. They just gave us the green light

Picard: There are FOUR lightings!

Congratulations to all of our winners! Now, lets proceed to our new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Data, you may have taken the "Casual Friday" Suggestion a bit too far...

Worf: Humans are obviously unable to keep up with me. Perhaps I should find a Trill...

Riker: The Power is out again!

Ro: Sorry, I initiated the rolling blackout maneuver.

Picard: No, this was not the time to come back from the Nexus either. At least I'm not down on the planet with Kirk though.

Riker wasn't pleased that it turned out Data was more popular than he was.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Data: Why does my bum hurt so badly?

Picard: Shh! If we keep quiet, my A Christmas Carol fetish may never be discovered...

[moaning and creaking coming from viewscreen]

Data: Fascinating.

Ro: God diggly damn!

Riker: Where? I can't see it!!!

Picard: Worf, do you ever get the feeling that people are shooting at us?

... nah, it could never happen.

Data: The Ready Room is that way, Commander.

Riker: Oh. I knew that.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: A one man show of "A Christmas Carol", Mr Data? A silly idea.

WORF: Sewing up your own wounds with catgut? Very hardcore, doctor.

CRUSHER: That reminds me, we're gonna have to get Data a new cat...again.

RIKER: I dont smell anything.

DATA: Balls.

PICARD: 'Sploshuns r kewl.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Data: "The outfit? I have a date with Lieutenant D'Sora tonight, and she said I should come prepared to spend the night."
Picard: "I'm sure she'll be thrilled."

Riker: "Jeebers! It's spooky as hell in here!"

Riker: "Someone in here has really bad B.O.!"
Data: "My latest attempt at becoming more human, sir! Do you like it?"

 

[Finn]

WORF: Sewing up your own wounds with catgut? Very hardcore, doctor.

CRUSHER: That reminds me, we're gonna have to get Data a new cat...again.

Winner!

Picard: Data...May I ask you a personal question?

Data: Of course, you may...sir

Picard: I know you have been doing many studies in your quest to find your humanity...but I don't understand why you are passing off as an old man.

Data: I came across a log entry of Tasha's and she said something about being into old guys. So I decided to do...

Picard: That's enough! I don't need the details

Data: Yes sir.

Crusher: There! Nothing can stop me, not even acid

Worf: Not bad.

RIKER: There's that music playing again! Deanna's mother is coming!

Picard: Picard to Crusher

Beverly: Crusher here

Picard: Wesley has left for the Academy

 

[LeadHead]

WORF: Sewing up your own wounds with catgut? Very hardcore, doctor.

CRUSHER: That reminds me, we're gonna have to get Data a new cat...again.

Worf: Lets make this one a girl and see if anybody notices the gender change.

 

[Cpt. Chris Pike]

Picard: Oh Data..The next time you have to be initiated at a star fleet frat party, please contact me..


Crusher: See Worf, if you apply the blush here, you can test it without committing.


Riker: Whoe..Yeah, I do look fatter on the view screen..


Picard: Do they really have to keep emptying the porta potties right out in front of the conference room window?


Riker: I love flea market day on the bridge..
Data: Is that a Romulan tea set?

 

[Holdfast]

Picard: "... and they say our uniforms look like pyjamas..."

Crusher: "Carpet burns again."

Riker deploys his patented "lights go off, arm goes around the shoulder" move.

"Oh no, they let Troi drive again?!"

 

[gojiragirl]

The awkward morning after, otherwise known as the walk of shame.

Worf: Next time, Doctor, you must focus your mind and attune your body. The key to a successful ...

Crusher: Worf, it was the staff wheelbarrow race and we lost. Accept it.

Riker: Data, have you ever seen films about Gladiators?

Captain's log, supplemental. I don't think we'll be hearing from those damned Ferengi anymore.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

CRUSHER:"Nice Indian burn Worf"


Worf: "Thank you"

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: Mister Data, I know you can't hear me at the moment, but when you wake up, I think it would be best if you could turn your dream program down to a lower setting. Let's keep the sleepwalking to a minimum, shall we?

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: Mister Data, I am as much an enthusiast of Dickens as the next man, but this must stop. Last week it was Oliver Twist, and now its Ebenezer Scrooge? Its gone too far dammit.

Worf: I do not understand, wouldn't it be easier to have another Doctor treat your injury?

Data: I merely asked 'how many starfleet officers does it take to change a lightbulb?' Does this not constitute a joke?

Picard: Picard to Bridge, did something just happen to my new yacht?

Worf: There was a slight weapons malfunction. Mrs. Troi pressed the torpedo launcher when I wasn't looking.

Troi (OS): Well, I do think Will pulls off 'Blue Steel' better, but Data's look is very good too.

 

[Rom's Sehlat]

WORF: Doctor, I did suggest you start at Klingon calisthenics level 0.0125!

These next three are related, and they're in order:

RIKER: Whom are you rooting for in the Strategema tournament, Data?
DATA: I support Kolrami in the game, sir, but I do not dedicate potted plants to him. Instead, I dedicate 15.23 microseconds each minute to his endeavors and achievements. I recall each of his games in an attempt to further my strategy. In game #3204, for example, he...
RIKER: Thank you, Mr. Data. Carry on.

Too mesmerized by watching the game being holo-cast from Ten-Forward, the crew failed to see the Romulan ship crossing their path...

PICARD [to self]: What the galaxy?! Will, I said DVR the game and watch it later!!!

 

[Smellincoffee]

I wasn't sure if people were purposely avoiding the 'fire at will' pun or not.

Data: Perhaps you should try the role of Scrooge, sir?
Picard: Me? Ebeneezer Scrooge? I truly cannot see it.

Riker: Dammit! Five-o. Ro, can you shake them?
Ro: Why are they even pursuing us?!
Riker: I may have picked up a few outstanding warrants while on Risa...

Picard, wincing: Bourbon and beans; an explosive combination. I told the field team to eat something less volatile before they disembarked.
Worf: Respectfully, sir, you may be looking for the OTHER caption contest.

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Picard: Picard to Bridge, did something just happen to my new yacht?

Worf: There was a slight weapons malfunction. Mrs. Troi pressed the torpedo launcher when I wasn't looking.

Worf: And PLEASE tell her that my name is Worf, not Woof.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard: Picard to Bridge, did something just happen to my new yacht?

Worf: There was a slight weapons malfunction. Mrs. Troi pressed the torpedo launcher when I wasn't looking.

Worf: And PLEASE tell her that my name is Worf, not Woof.

Riker: Its not all bad news sir, young Mr. Crusher was cleaning the upholstery at the time.

Data: I call 'dibs' on his stereo.

 

[J.Ashmore]

Data: Commander, how should we proceed? Our survival is severely threatened.
Riker: Err..Um... *thinking* What would Picard do, dammit? WWPD?!

 

[Isis]

Picard: Data...May I ask you a personal question?

Data: Of course, you may...sir

Picard: I know you have been doing many studies in your quest to find your humanity...but I don't understand why you are passing off as an old man.

Data: I came across a log entry of Tasha's and she said something about being into old guys. So I decided to do...

Picard: That's enough! I don't need the details

Data: Yes sir.

Winner!

 

[Isis]

Worf: "This new elbow makeup fad is ridiculous."

Crusher: "And a Klingon in a white running suit with maroon trim has what credentials to say that?"

Picard (to self): "Merde. I told the decorators 'No Jackson Pollock.'"

Data: "Sir, you're amazing."

Riker: "I already know that, but what prompted you to say so?"

Data: "Up to now, it was believed physically impossible for someone to attain your age and have a pimple that large."