TNG Caption This #204: Going Green

[LeadHead]

Happy weekends to all, I hope you've had a good 7 days, lets get right to business...

First up, the "Unequal Punishment" Award goes to:

Riker: And in conclusion, Mister Barclay, we don't ever expect to see these holograms again. Is that understood?

Barclay <off screen>: Yes, sir!

Riker: Good. Because if we do, I'm turning you over to Mister Worf for discipline.

Barclay <off screen>: Yes, sir.

Troi: Reg, Geordi's reassigned you to me for the rest of the month. He asked that you be in my office at oh-900 sharp, for treatment.

Barclay <off screen>: Can I just report to Mister Worf instead?

Picard: If that will be all, I think I'll find out why Geordi missed this meeting. Has anyone seen him?

Data: On the way here, I saw him at holodeck three. He said he just needed a little assistance from a propulsion design model.

Next, the "Hoshi Sato Award for Translation" goes to:

Reactions were mixed when the universal translator began converting every metaphor into crude sexual euphemisms.

Next, the "Don't Forget Wilson" Award goes to:

Gowron: I really like that TV show with Hugh Laurie playing the doctor. Glory to him....and his Hooooouuuuuuuussse!

Next, the "Special Abilities" Award goes to:

Riker: "Lieutenant Yar, can you confirm for the court that these are the same 'magic fingers' you referred to in earlier testimony?"

Next, the "A Doctor should really have read the instructions on this one." Award goes to:

Where will you be when your laxative starts working?

Our Photo Shop award goes to:

Riker: Behold!! The hand shaped vibrator!!

Troi: Ha! It'll never catch on!!


Several years later

The Contest Crossover Award goes to:

SEVEN: I have made contact with the Enterprise, Captain.

RIKER: Dayaaam!!!! Talk about your Borg enhancements!!!!!

goes to...

Riker: "That's not good enough, Berman. Tell us why you really fired Ron Jones."

Congratulations to our winners and Thank you to all who participated!

Now, since we're coming up on St. Patricks Day, we should have a contest with a green theme, so here we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher: Stop staring.

Riker, Data & Worf: Sorry.

La Forge: You know what I hate? Green Fires! Aw, crap. It's behind me isn't it?

Ro never forgave Riker for "Conundrum."

Picard: Beverly, when you said I'd get a charge out of you, I thought you were speaking figuratively.

Data: I found these flowers lying around. Are they of any signifigance?

Worf: Yes, somewhere on this planet, there is a man who is trying to backpedal.

 

[Finn]

Crusher: Let's go in. They just gave us the green light

Riker went too far when he learned how to make it sound like Ro's walking with wet socks, with his trombone.

Picard: There are FOUR lightings!

Data: I wonder if it would have made the difference if I had given her flowers that night?


Worf: Here we go again...

 

[BlobVanDam]

Data - So this is the physics experiment that Wesley said he needed this room for? I must say, I do not understand the scientific basis for this botanical setup.
Crusher - Shut up and start measuring this out per kilogram.

Geordi - what do you mean my turkey is burning green? It looks fine through my visor.

Unfortunately the "brain" setting on the new Type-V phaser was ineffective on Riker for some reason......

Data - I appreciate the gesture of the flowers, Worf, but again I must decline your invitation. I am programmed to not become "fully functional" until at least the third date.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Interviewer: And what part of the engine room is this?

Geordi: This is the door to the intermix chamber. We shovel dilithium in, which makes the ship go.

Interviewer: The green fire is environmentally friendly?

Geordi: That's right. We still use crimson force fields in emergencies, but when we keep to warp five, green is the only way to go.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

The Ghost and Mrs. Crusher

Beverly: Oh, Jean-Luc, I told you this wasn't a good idea. Jack swore he'd never approve of any man for me who doesn't like children.

 

[Holdfast]

Worf: "No, I don't want to buy any damn sprigs of lucky heather."




(do the Americans get gypsies trying to flog you sprigs of heather, or is it just a European thing?)

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Crusher: "Oh, my God! I think...I think Superman is dead!"

For her science fair project, Ro demonstrated how destroying a small segment of Commander Riker's hypothalmus immediately transformed his trombone rendition of New Orleans jazz into a rousing, up-tempo "Pop Goes the Weasel."

LaForge (sighs): "Did someone put tinfoil in the replicator again?"

Crusher: "Careful. These wool carpets generate quite a bit of static--Oh, geez!"

Data: "In my continuing efforts to understand humanity, I am attempting to explore my homosexual feelings through a series of dating scenarios. But I will need a partner. Lieutenant Worf, would you mind--"
Worf: "Yes! I mind!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RO: Come on, like no one else was thinking it!!!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

REVEREND: I now pronounce you man and droid.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: No, I haven't seen your ring, Mr Jordan.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Ro: I was calling out for "Free Bird". "Nightbird" is Troi's song.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Riker: Data -- Spectrum analysis?
Data: It is....it is green.

LaForge: I don't care what the officer-of-the-watch told you, Technician Brown, you did NOT do a "heckuva job"!

LaForge: LAREN! I gave no orders for firing at will!

 

[Subcommander R.]

Picard (OS): Dammit! I said 'pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!'

La Forge: *sniff* Is something burning? Oh crap! My hotpockets, I didn't take them out of the box before putting them in the microwave!

Ro's holodeck simulations inevitably revolved around killing Commander Riker.

Crusher: Jean-Luc! I didn't know you could riverdance!

Data: I do not understand why Ensign Jenkins would offer me this bouquet.

Worf: Three words, Tasha Part Two.

 

[LeadHead]

Ro: Curses! No Achievement points!

 

[Isis]

Riker: "I've given myself a headache. I guess the others are right about my trombone playing. Maybe I should switch to karaoke."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Scans of Riker's head found nothing.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

RO:"Hollow, just as I thought"

 

[Isis]

Geordi (to self): "This is the last time I buy a Sharp Quattron."

 

[LeadHead]

One of the least fun chores of the senior staff was to find convince Picard to go home at Closing time.

La Forge: I'll need a lotta Technobabble to get us outta this one.

When Riker said Ro could take a "Free Shot" he didn't mean with a Romulan Disruptor.

Stewart: Do your worst, I won't say this episode is a good one!

Data: Aren't these flowers great? I wrestled this lady in a white dress for them.