TNG Caption This #202: Shock and Awe

[LeadHead]

Happy weekend everyone!

Another great week of entries so lets go!

First, the "Bravest Crew in Starfleet" Award goes to:

Picard: "I see your dilemma, Worf. It would be very embarrassing were the crew to learn that our security chief is deathly afraid of spiders!"
Worf: "So you'll kill it, then?"
Picard: "Me? Hell no! I'm not going anywhere near that thing!"

Next, the "Caveman Critic from History of the World Part 1" Award goes to:

Data: "All right, so maybe I'll stop the poetry readings."

Next, the "Ignorance is Bliss" Award goes to:

GEORDI: What the.... I'm not awkward around women and a total loser!

TROI: Uh, you're not suposed to read my session notes.

Next, the "Poorly Executed Security Procedures" Award goes to:

Worf: "I'm sorry, I thought you said release the pepper spray throughout the entire ship."

Next, the "Abed Award for Meta-ness" goes to:

Picard: Does Mistral know he/she can delete the quotes to stop misquoting?

Riker: Dunno what you mean. It's not really misquoting

Troi: Yeah. It's just a caption contest, stop whining

Eeerrrrmm... FOURTH WALL BROKEN!!11!!!!!!11!

^But I would never mess up that many exclamation points btw.

And our Friendly Neighborhood Photoshop award:

Picard: Hot damn Numbah One! It's Wednesday!

Riker: Yeah it's Wednesday. So what?

Picard: Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day bitch!

And of course the...

La Forge: That damn Leadhead! How did he know it was The Battle. I even changed the lighting!

^For those of you who don't get that, it's a dig at me for my "Public Enemy #1" Status in the Trek Screencap Game over in the General Trek Discussion Forum.

And now, on with the next contest!

And a Special image here in honor of LeVar Burton's appearance last week on my favorite Sitcom...

Let's Rock and Roll!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker found out the hard way the consequences of head-butting a Klingon.

Picard: Okay, so we've discovered that insulting Romulan Captains heritage does NOT make them back down...

La Forge: So I attached this GPS tracker to his head, now we'll know when he sleepwalks...

Crusher: And whose Quarters he goes to...

Worst Captain Picard Day EVER.

Riker sent an elite tea on an impossible mission: to make Charlie Sheen not screw over the cast and crew of Two and a Half Men.

La Forge: And if you read these instructions, you'll be able to invent Warp Drive yourself. Therby changing the past, making it so I'll go to Troy Barnes High School instead of Zephram Cochrane High School.

 

[rahullak]

WORF (to himself): Oh no! The commander really is a rag doll! Now what do I do?

PICARD: Finding it hard to concentrate Mr.Data? Are you actually losing to a mere human? <snigger>

BEVERLY: How I wish I had lights like yours?
DATA: How I wish I had hair like yours...er...no...scratch that, who wants to be a dumb blonde anyway.

PICARD: AT last, at long last, I am alone!
Now what shall I do all by my lonesome?
Q(offscreen): Don't be too sure of that Mr.Pickerd.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Director (OS): "Now, everybody lean to your left! No, Patrick, your other left!"

Crusher: "Heh! Notice how the little light in his head gets brighter the higher up his leg I run my foot?"

Picard: "Fine! If they all think playing Twister in Lieutenant Yar's quarters is more fun than playing Pictionary with me then so be it! I don't need them, anyway!"

Riker: "I'm not saying you can't put player numbers on your uniforms! I'm just saying you can't use a '4' in a circle! We don't need the copyright hassles!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Thank ya much for the win LeadHead.

Picard: Prepare for evasive action. Helm hard to port!

[everyone leans to the right]

Picard: Hard to starboard!

[everyone leans to the left]

Picard: Hard to port!

[everyone leans to the right]

Riker: Frankly Captain, I'm exhausted.

Picard: Me too.

[Harry Nilsson's "One" plays]

[Picard starts crying]

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: I had to do it! He...er...pulled a knife!

The crew tried to pretend that they didn't notice Journey's Steve Perry had entered the bridge.

CRUSHER: Now make him dance

PICARD: Captains log, make sure that the crew knows that all staff meetings are manditory.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

^ Leadhead, this is awesome!!!!

[Harry Nilsson's "One" plays]

[Picard starts crying]

Cawfee spew!!!!!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf: He's dead, Jim.
Picard: ....?

Picard: FASTER! I will not have it said that the flagship of the Federation fleet was beaten by an antiquidated bird of prey in a drag race!

Picard, murmuring: I'm all alone...all my problems have all gone....there is no one here beside me.

 

[Isis]

Worf: "Captain, you've got to stop reciting Shakespeare while you're on duty."

Only too late did Picard realize that buying the console with the smallest controls was not a cost-effective move.

The first time Tasha forgot her Wonderbra was the last.

 

[Isis]

Beverly was tired of discussions where everyone could see exactly what was on Data's mind.


OR

Beverly usually liked it if someone had an open mind, but this was ridiculous.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: And remember its Fosse, Fosse, Fosse, slide.

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: The noise....

Worf: I know, the Captains attempt at Grundge Music must be stopped.

Troy: And why did you save all of those pictures of the Slime Monster?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Geordi, you idiot! I said to put the roofies in the girls' drinks!

GEORDI: Sorry, it's that baby face. He should grow a beard or something!

 

[Subcommander R.]

Worf: I said 'fun,' not 'stun!'

Ensign Jenkins (OS): Sorry sir.

Picard: What do you mean 'duck?' I can't see one anywhere...

La Forge: All right, the romanticism subroutine has been retooled to- hey, Beverly are you paying attention?

Crusher: Sorry Geordi, but I think its working.

The release of 'Call of Duty 937: Ancient Combat 4' had a larger impact on crew attendance than Picard had expected.

Riker: Now the key to looking good in spandex is to suck in your gut and never relax. Any questions Mr. Worf?

La Forge: And then Fluffy Puppy escaped from the clutches of the evil witch...

Kid: Do I look like I'm 3?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "See? He's programmed so that whenever he gets an idea, a light bulb literally lights up in his head! Cute, huh?"
Crusher: "Doctor Soong certainly had an odd sense of humor, alright!"
LaForge: "Oh, that's nothing! Hold your nose and I'll get him to show you an honest-to-God brain fart!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Dr. Crusher (offscreen): "There's only one way to save him, Worf... a beard transplant."

Dramatic music, cut to opening credits.

You just lean to the left...

Then you jerk to the riiiight!

Let's do the Irwin Allen rock agaaaaain!!

Crusher: "Data, you might want to try a combover."

Picard was depressed for a whole month after his dad took the keys to the Enterprise.

Riker: "Worf, get rid of that unsightly crotch bulge. You too, Tasha."

 

[Finn]

Worf learned the hard way Riker wasn't the one he didn't need to worry.

Wesley: Don't you hate it when the LCARS zooms out just as the Captain orders warp speed?

La Forge: What are you thinking, Doctor?

Beverly: Put him in the swimming pool with the jello mix before he wakes up. That will get him for pushing me over

Picard: They'll still manage to slip in a Beverly reference somehow....

Riker: The Captain sent me. I know how you love being the life of the parties here on the Enterprise, but the man gotta sleep.

Barnes: Wasn't Reading Rainbow cancelled years ago?
Burton: Shut up and read. I was on Roots too, Damn it!

 

[PikeFan]

WORF: Counselor Troi, put your dress back on, look him!

WESLEY: Ok who put LCARS in Japanese!

CRUSHER: I just love him....
LAFORGE: What was that Doctor?
CRUSHER: I was thinking about the next pic, sorry.

Picard: Good thing I'm alone, I think the Romulans heard that fart!

RIKER: Hey, you go play Frisbee Golf and don't invite me!
TASHA: *shrugs*
WORF: She was afraid you'd be jealous that her "bulge" is bigger!

Take a look it's in a book....

Worf shoots crazed Geordi and drags him back to the right place.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Picard: "So apparently Tommy Fresh does not smell like success. Duly noted in my log."

 

[Nerys Myk]

BEVERLY: Oh, so thats how you light his pilot light

DATA: I do not believe I am gas powered.

GEORDI: Shut up. Who's the engineer here?

GUY: This is the best you can do for holoprogram?

GEORDI (shrugs): I've had restricted access since Deanna found my LBrahms1 program.