TNG Caption This #201: Understanding Humanity

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: How do we know when they're done?

WORF: Why are you asking me? I'm a Klingon, we eat our meat raw.

PICARD: Situation report Numbah One?

RIKER: When you transfered Geordi to Engineering you neglected to assign a new helmsmen.

PICARD: Suggestions?

RIKER: Place our heads between our knees and kiss our asses goodbye.

 

[Isis]

Picard: "Mr. Data is making real progress with his Etch A Sketch."

Worf: "But I still think he has a ways to go, Sir."

Picard: "Mistah Data, didn't I tell you it was time to change the shock absorbahs?"

When the admiral made a surprise visit, Picard regretted that he had declared the day "pants optional."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Riker: Fuck, Data, slow down! It's the space-cops!!
*Data slams on the brakes*

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (exasperated): "Alright, Counselor, this is Happy Picard Face! Do you like Happy Picard Face? No! No, I didn't think so! Now why don't you go irritate the hell out of someone else about their sour personality for a while!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Dorn: Dorn ain't paid enough to lean act.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Worf: Captain, as you can clearly see there is a tribble sitting on top of my sash.

Picard: Really Mr. Worf, why did you have to interrupt my flute practice for this?

Data: I do not understand, how can the game of charades be played without the use of eyesight?

Troi: Geordi, I'm sensing shame. What exactly were you viewing on the Captain's computer?

Immediately the Enterprise Crew regretted letting Counselor Troi try to earn her Driver's License.

Picard: Now Numbah One, I know you enjoy practical jokes. Replacing my tea, Earl Grey, hot with stale coffee was absolutely hilarious. So I returned the favor and gave away your trombone.

Now who's laughing, eh beardie?

 

[Cpt. Porthos]

Picard- How... in the world... did you get that out?
Worf- Klingons have unusually strong rectums.. none the less it was... unpleasent"
Picard- Rectum? damn near killed em

Picard- about last night... it doesnt mean you are any less of a man...
off screen- *Sniff Sniff*
Picard- oh cheer up... you know you will always be my number 1 no matter what *smiles*

Data- GAWD DAMN!!! *Choke gag*
Worf- I must apologize... i had Mexican food last night. I will, in the future be more cautious as to my dinner choices

 

[Mistral]

ISIS is a God! -Mistral

Picard: "I'm pooping my pants."

 

[JB2005]

Picard still hadn't moved after thirty minutes...the crew began to appreciate just how much he was restraining himself after Data had pointed out his head would look the same either way up...

 

[Mistral]

Worf: "I'm sorry, I thought you said release the pepper spray throughout the entire ship."

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: Hot damn Numbah One! It's Wednesday!

Riker: Yeah it's Wednesday. So what?

Picard: Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day bitch!

 

[Bob Karo]

Yes, having Data watch Police Academy certainly ranked as one of Picard's better ideas.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Just sit your pretty little tush right here and tell Uncle Jean-Luc all about it.

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Bad news Sir, Admiral Nechayev is coming aboard.

Picard: I'll practice my fake smile. Is it convincing?

Riker: No, but if we hide your face with clown makeup....

 

[Mistral]

Picard: "Are those the fitness reports?"

Worf: "Yes, sir. Following Klingon custom, I have executed all who failed to meet standard requirements."

Picard: "How many are left?"

Worf: "Two. But you haven't had your evaluation yet."

 

[PikeFan]

PICARD: So why are you showing me this?
WORF: The sex was... exquisite!
PICARD: Well, Troi did leave some awesome nail marks!
WORF: You should see my back!

DATA: Am I interrupting?
TROI: I HATE when you do that!
RIKER: But I wubs you Imzadi!

TROI: Nice ass!
LAFORGE: Me or Doctor Crusher? (indicates screen)
TROI: Honestly? Beverly.
LAFORGE: Oh...

ME: That was EPIC!
PICARD: Get off my bridge.
ME: Data dared me!
RIKER: Data!
DATA: It was NOT my intention when I said blow me!
WORF: For a Klingon, this is foreplay done right!

So the tar monster didn't eat Tasha, she spends her days under the conference table now!

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Picard: Does Mistral know he/she can delete the quotes to stop misquoting?

Riker: Dunno what you mean. It's not really misquoting

Troi: Yeah. It's just a caption contest, stop whining

Eeerrrrmm... FOURTH WALL BROKEN!!11!!!!!!11!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "Holy crap! And I didn't think anyone since about the 21st century even knew what 'pop the clutch' meant!"

 

[LeadHead]

Troi: I just saw the future! I'm shaving your beard off in a bubblebath!

Data: I believe the appropriate response would be: Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

 

[LeadHead]

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