TNG Caption This #201: Understanding Humanity

[LeadHead]

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, The last contest was Amazing! Loved so many of the different entries and for once, you funny people get to be judged by people without my various insanities.

Before we start the contest, a Very Special Thanks to our Guest Judges!

Alrik, Isis, Jonas Grumby, Nerys Myk, Rat Boy, Subcommander R and The Laughing Vulcan.

When I started prepping for this, I thought I might get some of those I communicated with to be able to participate. Not only did I get a 100% participation rate, but all of the winning selections extremely promptly!

You have my thanks for making this contest a whole lotta fun.

And now...

As Judged by Nerys Myk:

Why Tasha Was Raging Mad Award

Beverly (OS): "Tasha, don't you think you're going a little too heavy on those steroids?"

As Judged by Isis:

The Never Mix Polka Dots and Stripes award goes to:

Troi: "This is my first time with spotted dick-what do you think?"

Data: "I'm sorry, Counselor, I have no frame of reference. My dick is striped."

As Judged by Jonas Grumby:

The ""'I Can't Speak for the Captain...Or Can I?' Award.

Riker soon came to regret modelling his ventriloquist's dummy after Picard.

As Judged by The Laughing Vulcan:

The Truth Hurts Award...

Lwaxanna - They say that if you want to know how a woman will look in 30 years, just look at her mother........Deanna, is that a tear in your eye?

As Judged by Subcommander R.

The Trés Francais Award

Dathon: Kirk and Lincoln on Excalbia. Kirk and Kang on Beta XII-A.

Picard: Look, I'm just going to ignore you until you at least attempt to speak French.

As judged by Alrik: And I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a tough time deciding from time to time.

As it should be, the 200th Caption Contest was a doozy, and a difficult one to judge. So much so that we have a tie.

First we have the "Good Advise Award" going to...

Crusher: "Listen, honey, do yourself a favor. Have a little chat with Nella Daren before you get in too deep."

LeadHead Interrupt: I almost didn't post this winner, since I run the threads I can't win, but I decided just this once since I didn't decide the winners and I was honestly very touched that out of all the amazing submissions this time around that I was even in the running.

And the "If Looks Could Kill Award" goes to...

Crusher: Ah, that explains why he called me "Vash" toward the end.

As Judged by Rat Boy

"Most Ridged for Her Pleasure Award:"

Kurn: DJ Worf, kick it with the hot jams.
DJ Worf: Any ladies in the house, stand up and say, "Mogh!"

We only had one entry in our "Class Picture" Photoshop challenge, but that doesn't mean it didn't have "Win" written all over it, in addition to winning the challenge, it also wins the first in a new regular award...

Picard - What is this Data.
Data - My lastest painting. I had a dream which confused me.
Picard - Seems so Mr Data, could we now please get back to the task at hand...
Data - Task? Sir?
Picard - Stopping Soran and saving Geordie..
Data - Oh that. Yes sir.

I'd still love to see more entries on this, so the option to submit on the Photoshop challenge remains open for everyone.

And now, lets go with the 201st contest!

On with the contest!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: It's a shame you didn't use the holodeck instead of setting fire to your quarters.

Worf: Ah, Crap! Wish I'd thought of that.

Troi: Pain. PAIN!

Riker: Just don't listen to American Idol contestants, it'll end soon.

La Forge: Look at this counselor, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot." Is a code for the replicator to make Whiskey!

Riker: How can a Speed bump last 3 light years?!

Picard: And the entire Away Team died. Why am I smiling?

Data: The Laughing gas Sir.

Picard: Ah yes, and the Laughing gas leak has reached terminal levels. Our only hope is not to laugh at all. Mister Data, load the "Two and a Half Men" Dvd's into the computers.

 

[BlobVanDam]

Picard - What is it, Worf?
Worf - It is gach. But I must warn you, that it's effects on the human digestive system are somewhat.......unsettling.....

Data - Captain, my olfactory sensors are detecting dangerous levels of methane in the ship's environmental systems. And trace amounts of Klingon spices.
Worf - Well don't look at me.
Data - I believe there is an old human adage that states that the denier of the source of the smell is often the supplier of the smell.

Deanna - I am sensing that the Captain is hiding something. And I sense guilt, but also a sense of pride, and accomplishment.

Geordi - According the the internal sensors in this room, the levels of methane in this room are double that on the bridge. And the captain's last log simply says "Captain's Log - Took 4 flushes to clear, and it burned on its way out.". What took 4 flushes?...... Oh............

 

[Captain Crow]

Worf refused to play the "Look Down Your Nose" game.

Picard: Numbah One, question my orders again and I'll kick you in the nads.

Picard: Mr. Data! Slow down!

Data: I am trying Captain but the accelerator is stuck!

Riker: Who made this thing?! Toyota?!

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

The moment after DJ Wörf engaged his ''Warp Ten vol. 22'' hardstyle compilation. The volume was set to 120 dB, because Worf thought anything less is, of course, without honor.

Picard, after he saw on his computer what doctor Crusher and Vash were doing in his quarters...

 

[Finn]

La Forge: That damn Leadhead! How did he know it was The Battle. I even changed the lighting!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard, (thinking) "Oh no that ones wet"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: Uh, where's the on switch?

TROI: Yep, definitely Chief of Engineering material.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: Commander, perhaps in the future you should limit your serenades to trombone instrumentals. Your singing voice leaves much to be desired.

Troi: Mister LaForge!
Geordie: I'm only checking...to see if his system is free of spyware!
Troi: Uh huh. While you're in there arranging your promotion to engineering, upgrade me from O-4 to O-5.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: I think I just followed through Numbah One.

Picard: Oh boy, it's tentacle porn night!

 

[NX-01]

We only had one entry in our "Class Picture" Photoshop challenge, but that doesn't mean it didn't have "Win" written all over it, in addition to winning the challenge, it also wins the first in a new regular award...

Picard - What is this Data.
Data - My lastest painting. I had a dream which confused me.
Picard - Seems so Mr Data, could we now please get back to the task at hand...
Data - Task? Sir?
Picard - Stopping Soran and saving Geordie..
Data - Oh that. Yes sir.

Thanks for the win!! I was surprised to submit the only entry for this Photoshop challenge.

Troi - For crying out loud Will, this is not the time or the place to be masterbating.
Riker - But you turn me on so bad..
Data - Commander I do not believe that this the correct use of your...
Troi - ARGH!!!! Both of you leave!!

Geordi - Damn it woman! Don't you know how to knock.....damn it turn off you stupid computer....
Troi - Is that Beverley???

Picard - Damn it Riker..why the hell did you let Troi drive?!?!?
Riker - ALL HANDS BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!!!

Riker - Long range scanners have detected a Borg Cube.
Picard - I don't care....Tasha has detected my 'Photon Torpedo' under the table..

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Well, well, well. Taking a little stroll through the captain's private files, are we?"
LaForge: "Yeah. He's got some interesting video clips on here. You ever heard of a movie called 'The Wicked Lady'?"
Troi: "Eep!"

 

[Finn]

Troi: What are you doing?!?
Geordi: I'm using the Captain's authorization codes to find out if Leah Brahms is single or not.
Troi: She isn't Starfleet
Geordi: Oh....I'm sure she is. Who would want to date someone working on the warp core that was beaten by a 20 year old klingon ship.

 

[Nerys Myk]

GEORDI: What the.... I'm not awkward around women and a total loser!

TROI: Uh, you're not suposed to read my session notes.

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Security Briefings can be fun Mister Worf. Have your men set their phasers to fabulous!

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "See, as requested. The cooler is full of Bud Light."

Picard: "You idiot! I said Coors Light!"

Data: "All right, so maybe I'll stop the poetry readings."

Troi: "Geordi, maybe you should switch to engineering."

Geordi: "Why?"

Troi: "I can smell the urine from here."

Picard: "Assume pre-headbanging positions!"

Outwardly, Picard appeared amused by the whoopie cushion. Inwardly, he wanted to kill them all.

 

[Bob Karo]

Picard: Mr Worf, I want this MacGuffin Generator delivered to Marcellus Wallace at once.

 

[Bob Karo]

Inertial Dampeners? Worf couldn't give a fuck about inertial dampers. He's got people to kill.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data: I see a little silhouetto of a man.

Picard & Riker: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Worf: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening me.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "I see your dilemma, Worf. It would be very embarrassing were the crew to learn that our security chief is deathly afraid of spiders!"
Worf: "So you'll kill it, then?"
Picard: "Me? Hell no! I'm not going anywhere near that thing!"

Data: "Phew! I can tell you without even checking the sensors that this nebula has an extraordinarily high hydrogen sulfide content!"