TNG Caption This #197: The Writing on the Wall

[LeadHead]

Good evening ladies and gents, this Saturday is gonna be even busier than last Saturday, so I'll give us all a head start this time.

Lets get to the winners!

First, the "Saturday Night Live" Award goes to:

Picard: "What do you think Data?"
Data: "It is a painting of a cake sir."
Picard: "What kind of cake Data?"
Data: "The cake depicts a woman sitting upon a toilet sir."
Picard: "Pretty erotic huh?"

Next, the "This Side of Paradise" Award goes to:

Worf: "Strange, what are these--"

One of the plants swings around and sprays spores all over Worf.

Worf: "What the hell! What IS this? I... I can't... no... (pause) Yes, I see now! I must bring these to Deanna, quickly."

Next, the "Things just are never good for Barclay" Award goes to:

Crusher - Don't be ashamed. It happens to human men too, but just not with the nose.......

Next, the "No one steals from La Forge" Award goes to:

Geordi: ''Look... These beer canisters are mine, get over it.''

Next, the "Lack of faith in Beverly" Award, goes to:

(TROMBONE)Wah, wah, wah waaaah!!!!

CRUSHER: Will you stop playing that everytime I mention I'm a qualified Bridge Commander. Its not funny!!!!!

And the Photoshop award goes to:

Congrats to our winners!

And now without further ado...

Off we go!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: And this is my soon to be fired First Officer-

Riker: Sir?!

Picard: Oh, I thought I'd told you already. That was easier news to break than I thought.

Data: Commander Remick, are you aware that there are bulleyes painted on your head?

Worf: The teenage girls were wrong. The Twilight books are terrible.

Troi: I wish these corridors didn't all look the same, I've been looking for my quarters for 3 hours!

Picard: Now how did Data get past the doors when they're stuck?

Worf: He used the transporter.

 

[ToMaHaKeR]

Thanks for the win!

(the ship is under attack)
Picard: ''Computer, open this door immediately!''
Computer: ''Unable to comply. The door control software encountered a Blue Screen of Federation Logo. System halted.''
Picard: ''Picard to engineering! La Forge, this is hardly the time for your experiments with antique x86 systems!''

Data: ''This is hardly the time for a 1984 Soviet video game, sir.''

Picard: ''This is hardly the time for remaining on a single planet for more than one episode. Engage already, I'm sick of it.''

Worf: ''Doctor, this is hardly the time for commander Riker's jazz compilation. I'm listening to a Klingon opera.''

Picard: ''Picard to Troi! Counselor, this is hardly the time for your outbursts of feelings! Put yourself together, we need you up here!''

 

[Finn]

Troi: Painnnn!!!!!!!

Riker: We've lost Deanna again. She's having one of these moments again.

Picard: Damn it! Any ideas?

Data: I've found her. She's on Deck 7, section 11

Picard: Damn it! It won't open
Riker: Wow, she must be having one of these really bad days
Picard: Picard to Crusher...

Beverly: Crusher here
Picard: It's Deanna again. She is at it again, on deck 7, section 11.
Beverly: Understood. Worf is giving me the strong dose. We will take it from here. We will report in about fifteen minutes. Crusher out

 

[Isis]

Ah, now I know why he had Picard say "Doesn't look very happy to me." Bob Ross used to say from time to time while painting them, "happy little trees."

Bob Ross Quotes

People look at me like I’m a little strange, when I go around talking to squirrels and rabbits and stuff. That’s ok. Thaaaat’s just ok.

People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different.

We want happy paintings. Happy paintings. If you want sad things, watch the news.

[And about trees]
Talk to the tree, make friends with it.

The trees are oh so soft, oh so soft I freakin’ love it.

There’s nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend.

Trees cover up a multitude of sins.

That’s a crooked tree. We’ll send him to Washington.

Thanks for the Bob Ross quotes and link in last week's contest, Gary7. Between stuff like "Any time ya learn, ya gain" (which I actually like) and "People look at me like I’m a little strange, when I go around talking to squirrels and rabbits and stuff. That’s ok. Thaaaat’s just ok," he was all over the map, wasn't he?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Your assessment of the situation, Number One?"
Riker: "I love you. I always have, and I always will."
Picard: "The tactical situation!"

Data: "Oh, how very thoughtful of you, sir! I'll have a garden salad and an iced tea!"

Crusher: "Here's what you asked for: the results of Deanna's last two health screenings."
Worf: "A Klingon cannot be too careful!"
Crusher: *sigh* "So much for 'love is blind.'"

Troi (walking slowly and stiffly): "Ouch! Wedgie! Ouch! Ouch!"

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Picard: High five!!!!

Riker: No captain. You're doing it wrong

Worf: There you are Doctor, I have unlocked the fire-sword for you. Feel free to continue playing The Legend of Zelda 9000

Troi: Ooo! Look! I'm Riker! I walk with my fist closed and my back straight. Neeeeh! Where's the Replicator? Neeeh!

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead.

Riker: "What the... something imprinted on the back of the captain's neck. 'Made In France'?"

Data: "My friend will have the cheeseburger deluxe, large fries, and a strawberry shake. As for me, I'll just have a jug of grease from the deep fryer."

Worf: "Is this your card?"
Beverly: "That's amazing!"

Whenever Counselor Troi found herself alone in the ship's corridors, she couldn't resist doing the fashion catwalk with gusto.

Picard: "Dammit, they spelled my name wrong again. It's not Picardo!"

 

[Gary7]

Riker: "You do seem to be moving very slowly, captain."
Picard: "Nummmmmmmbbbberrrrrrrrr......... One?"
LaForge: "Captain Picard! Where in blazes did ya come from?"
Picard: "Out of the nowhere and into the here."
LaForge: "And Commander Riker, is he coming too?"

(hint)

 

[Supernuke]

Troi: 42 decks and not a single bathroom! I've been wandering around this ship for hours!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TROI: You can't all hide forever! The annual crew mental health evaluations will be completed!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: And tell that lumbering Neanderthal of a First Officer I want to see him....

He's right behind me, isn't he?

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "And this is how you get a starship to go to warp, Numbah One."

Riker: "Really? I thought that's how a hand-job is done."

Data: "And hold the curry on Geordi's order. It gave him uncontrollable flatulence."

Geordi: "Why don't you broadcast that all over the ship, Data?"

Data: "Attention all hands, I have an announcement to make..."

Worf: "Great, pictures of baby Wesley in the bathtub. There's not enough bloodwine on Qo'Nos to make me unsee that."

Troi: "If I hear one more crack about women drivers, my bootheel's going up somebody's ass."

Picard: "The door's locked. That bastard Riker's upper-decking my toilet again!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: You know, you could just send your love notes directly to Captain's station rather than passing it to him on a PADD.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Data: "Captain, we understand you are excited about your new Etch-a-Sketch, but it is impolite to show off."

 

[Mistral]

Riker (thinking) : "I wonder what this plug in the back of his head is for?"

 

[Scinlao]

How do I put the pictures in my reply... :S

 

[Scinlao]

Picard: "Very good. Fire at Will..."
Riker: "Captain!?"
Picar: "You heard what I said Mr. Worf...I'll be in my ready room..."

 

[NX-01]

Riker (Thinking) - Oh how I love bald men, oh the things I would do to him if I could!!
Lwaxana Troi (OS) - Oh captian, if only you knew what your First Officer was thinking.
Picard - What?!?

Data - Captain. Go down the third drainpipe, jump over the Koopa Trooper, collect the gold coin through the next pipe and it'll take you to the end of the level.

Troi - Damn that Guinan!! 3 slips of latinum for Ktarian chocolate puff?!?!? Next time we are docked at DS9 I am going to insist she remain on board.....that Ferrengi is a bad influence on her. I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!

 

[Isis]

Data: "Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my lens flare wasn't working."