TNG Caption This #196: Artistic License

LeadHead · Jan 15, 2011

Hello everyone! A little earlier than you were expecting? Sorry about that, I knew I'd be busy pretty much all day tomorrow and wanted to make it so that you're not having to wait for me this time.

Time to say hello to some winners:

First, the "missing the point while being right on target" award goes to:

Nerys Myk said:
O'BRIEN: Stop whining. You did say "Not in the face".

Next, the "Data is not a Quick Study" Award goes to:

Kirby said:
Troi: Are you sure you're using the propoer neck pinch technique that Ambassador Spock taught you?

Next, the "Not Number One in the popularity contest" Award goes to:

Mistral said:
Riker: "Uh, if the bad guys are over there-why are you pointing that at me?"

Worf: "You know too much. We can't risk you being taken prisoner. It's in the regulations, sir - that I just made up."

Then the "Excellence in Cross Species Musical Theatre" Award goes to:

Mr. Adventure said:
"OKLAHOMA!"

Ahhhh, the ever difficult to choose Photoshop winner, great entries all, but this one had me rolling.

alte said:

Congrats to all of our winners!

Now that the crew has all made peace with their issues, they can turn their attention to artistic pursuits.

Off we go!

LeadHead · Jan 15, 2011

Picard: What do you think Mister Data?

Data: I would like to paraphrase Ambassador Spock, Sir.

Picard: Please do.

Data: Captain, you are an Excellent Starship Commander, but as a painter, you leave much to be desired.

Worf: So that's what happens to leftovers after 6 months...

Crusher: Look at me Reg, you can't be that... (Screams)

La Forge: Luck be a lady tonight!

Crusher: (laughs) I'm sorry, you'd better bet on something else Geordi.

This is how the great "Ten Forward Disaster" began, Riker's Trombone playing broke the windows and made the assembled crew much happier... for a few moments.

Mr. Laser Beam · Jan 15, 2011

Crusher: Repeat after me. I...state your name...

Geordi: I...state your name...

Gil T.Azell · Jan 15, 2011

Crusher "No Justin Bieber covers ok Commander?"

BlobVanDam · Jan 15, 2011

Data (thinking to self) - you know, in only 3.4 nanoseconds I have managed to calculate over 100 ways I could kill the Captain using only the painting equipment on this table here. Mindless killing would make me pretty human, right?

Worf - Who put these here? Is this some kind of joke? You all know how us Klingons feel about decorative flowers.......... only freshly cut is good enough.

Crusher - Don't be ashamed. It happens to human men too, but just not with the nose.......

Smellincoffee · Jan 15, 2011

Data: It is a respectable elephant, sir.
Picard: Elephant? Data, it's a horse! Marshall Petain,the first steed I ever broke in!
Data: <head tilt> Is it meant to be an abstract, sir?
Picard: NO! Realism!
Data, deadpan: It is a respectable horse, sir.

tharpdevenport · Jan 15, 2011

Geordi: "I ain't seen shit!"

Beverly: "Dennis McCarthy said 'Don't quite your day job'..."

Data: Internal monologue, "But eventually his mind will wonder to that time he painted my nude self portrait and remember the size of my fully fuctional codpiece. Wait for it ... wait for it ... annnddd therrre it is."

ToMaHaKeR · Jan 15, 2011

Geordi: ''Look... These beer canisters are mine, get over it.''

(announcer through intercom): ''The poll is open! Will commander Riker really succeed spitting in his hand through his trombone? Stay tuned!''

Mr. Adventure · Jan 15, 2011

"'Decorates like a 12-year-old boy', what's she talking about, no child would have a centerpiece like this. What else could she be talking about?"

"Will, it works a lot better if you remove the plug."

Nerys Myk · Jan 15, 2011

DATA: My cat could produce a better painting...

wait did I say that outloud?

PICARD: Yes.

DATA: Engage inner monolog subroutine...

PICARD: Too late. Crewman Data.

WORF: I see Alexander has completed his Flower Arranging course. (sigh)

CRUSHER: For the last time, the characters name is Roxane, not Deanna!

LAFORGE: And this is my new girlfriend, Susan.

CRUSHER: It was bound to happen.

(TROMBONE)Wah, wah, wah waaaah!!!!

CRUSHER: Will you stop playing that everytime I mention I'm a qualified Bridge Commander. Its not funny!!!!!

Mr. Laser Beam · Jan 15, 2011

Mr. Adventure said:
"Will, it works a lot better if you remove the plug."

Good idea...

Data: Sir, I believe it would work much more efficiently if you removed the plug.

Worf: This would work a lot better if I removed the plug.

Crusher: For God's sake, Reg, it would work a LOT better if you removed the plug!

Crusher: Geordi, I'm only going to say this once. It would work a LOT better if you removed the plug.

Mr. Adventure · Jan 15, 2011

^^ heh

"Look, I know you're disappointed that all the PornoDecks were occupied but no one ever does these simulations with me, can't you just play along?"

tharpdevenport · Jan 15, 2011

Geordi: "Listen, doctor, stop flashing me -- you know I'm blind. You fucking bitch! Why do you taunt me, fucking bitch?!"

Jonas Grumby · Jan 15, 2011

Picard: "I call it 'Riding into the Sunset.'"
Data: "Interesting. And I believe it is the first time I have seen Gumby actually riding Pokey."

Worf: "Argelian Stinkweed! I have a secret admirer!"

Barclay: "I was thinking...why don't we modernize the play? And instead of the nose getting longer--"
Crusher: "Forget it!"

LaForge: "'My life's work has been to prompt others and be forgotten. Remember that night when Christian came to your balcony?'"
Crusher: "I've already cast Barclay."
LaForge: "Damn!"

Riker: "I haven't played in a while. I'm afraid I'm a little rusty."
Crusher: "Don't worry about that! I love rusty trombone!"
Crewman (thinking): "Oh no she didn't!"

Data: "A portrait of Counselor Troi? Interesting that you chose to render her nude and with unshaven armpits."
Picard: "Do you think I should show it to her?"
Data:: "No, I do not."

T'Girl · Jan 15, 2011

Black Guy: "Pardon me for interrupting Doctor, but my ears are bleeding."

Picard: "What do you think Data?"
Data: "It is a painting of a cake sir."
Picard: "What kind of cake Data?"
Data: "The cake depicts a woman sitting upon a toilet sir."
Picard: "Pretty erotic huh?"

Beverly: "Look I'm sorry, but it's my holodeck fantasy and I get to wear the dress."

Worf: "It is a deadly Klingon Tre'ooj carnivore plant."
Tre'ooj: "Come closer."
Worf: "I will not."
Tre'ooj: "But I smell good, yes?"
Worf: "Yes, but I will not come closer"
Tre'ooj: "Put one of your hands in one of my blossoms."
Worf: "I really shouldn't."
Tre'ooj: "But you want too, you can always pull it back out."
Worf: "I will pull it out before it is too late."
Tre'ooj: "But you won't pull it out before it is too late."
Worf: "Have you been speaking to Councilor Troi?"

Beverly: "So show me how exactly did you try to fondle Ensign Sonya's breasts?"
Geordi: "Well I stood like this and raised my hand like this ..."
Beverly: "I think I see the problem Geordi."
Geordi: "Tell me Doctor."
Beverly: "You're standing nearly three meters away."
Geordi: "Yes, and ..."

Gary7 · Jan 15, 2011

Data: (thinking to himself) Should I tell him or is he already aware? Perhaps it is best that I say nothing. But if I do not, others may notice.

Data: "Captain?"
Picard: "Yes, Data."
Data: "Sir, you have drooled on your shirt."

Worf: "Strange, what are these--"

One of the plants swings around and sprays spores all over Worf.

Worf: "What the hell! What IS this? I... I can't... no... (pause) Yes, I see now! I must bring these to Deanna, quickly."

Geordi: "Beverly, I like you... very much. But, I'm really sorry, not like that."

Dr. Crusher quickly covers herself back up, fleeing the shuttlebay in extreme embarrassment.

Beverly: (thinking to herself) Oh boy, this sucks. How do I gracefully exit stage left without him noticing?

Gary7 · Jan 15, 2011

Geordi: "Who? What girls? There's no--oh, those girls. Well, they're just helping me with a few diagnostics."
Beverly: "Right... diagnostics."

Gary7 · Jan 15, 2011

Beverly: "What the... what's going on here?"
Geordi: "Bev, you've never been to a keg party before? Girl, you gotta get out more! Here, have a beer."

Gary7 · Jan 15, 2011

Data: "It is... it is... it is interesting."

Gary7 · Jan 15, 2011

Picard: "Magnificent, isn't she Data?"
Data: "I fail to see the resemblance. But I will comply if ordered to do so."

TNG Caption This #196: Artistic License

Director of Comedy

Director of Comedy

Fleet Admiral

Rear Admiral

Fleet Captain

Commodore

Admiral

Lieutenant Commander

Fleet Admiral

Sgt Pepper

Fleet Admiral

Fleet Admiral

Admiral

Vice Admiral

Vice Admiral

Vice Admiral

Vice Admiral

Vice Admiral

Vice Admiral

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