TNG Caption This #189: Ill effects...

[LeadHead]

Good evening (or morning/afternoon) After a nice thanksgiving weekend, it has come time for some winners to be crowned. Lets go!

First up: The "Get on with it" Award goes to:

Kurn: "Think your captain will ever finish carving that roast? It's no longer Thanksgiving, and I'm due back at work on Monday."

Next, the "William T. Riker Self Preservation" Award goes to:

Riker: (inner thoughts) Remember she can kick your ass. Don't look at the hair. Don't look at the hair. Don't look at the hair...

Next: the "Discovering secrets through bad cooking" award goes to:

Worf: This food doesn't seem French at all, are you sure Captain Picard isn't secretly British?

Geordi: I don't know, but he's never cooking again.

Next: the "Picard is a Player" Award goes to:

Picard (whispering): "...and there's an extra five in it if you can make her disappear before dessert is served. I have a date with Ensign Jones in Security later and I'd rather not have an loose ends around."

Next: The "Ouch! That's gotta Hurt!" Award goes to:

RIKER: Ow!! Ow! Ow! You never said being Imzadi means sharing a brain freeze!!!!

Our photoshop award goes to:

Trpi: "RJDiogenes is better than sex. At least, sex with every other man in the universe, imzadi"

Congrats to our winners!

Next, what happens after thanksgiving if the food wasn't made right?

This is one for anyone who saw some of the fun going on in the last TOS contest, hmmmmm.... is it a captains log or a never before seen episode?

 

[Supernuke]

Picard: Beverly can you stop talking about Wesley for one second? I know he's a wunderkind and everything, but hearing you talk about him all the time just grates on my brain!!!

 

[LeadHead]

La Forge: I don't think this is going to work.

Crusher: Trust me Geordi. Do you see anything?

La Forge: No, your experiment didn't help me see and broke the VISOR.

Crusher: Deanna, you're alive! I pronounced you 20 minutes ago.

Crusher: So anyway, Wesley is getting smarter and smarter all the time, I think he has what it takes to be a Starfleet officer, just like his dad-

Picard: Oh dear god, don't you ever shut up?

Frakes: So we're doing a clip show AND you have to drill into my skull?! Whose twisted idea was this?

Whether it's "Genesis" or "Lonely Among Us" Anytime Worf is in sickbay turns out to be painful for Crusher.

Captains Log Stardate 47112.1 We have arrived at an ugly, ugly planet. After its picture is posted on FAIL Blog, we will be leaving orbit.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "Oh, no! I'm waking up in someone else's bed, wearing next to nothing, with absolutely no idea how I got here. Why does this keep happening to me?"

Crusher: "Oops! Looks like I grabbed one of Geordi's socket set cases by mistake! How would you feel about just replicating a couple of aspirin and calling me in the morning?"

 

[Supernuke]

When Riker volunteered for an experiment involving sexual arousal, he didn't expect there to be needles involved. Well at least this many needles.

 

[Vassa]

Geordi violates LaForge Law 21: Don't stick your face in other peoples' inventions.

I know about you and Wesley, Deanna. Go ahead and lay back while that injection takes effect.

Great moments in Star Trek History: Jonathon Frakes decides he wants to be a Director.

Jean-Luc, I know about you and Wesley, just lie back and let that injection take effect.

 

[Gary7]

Geordi: "That's odd. I'm getting visions of the future."
Beverly (OS): "Wow, what do you see?"
Geordi: "You eventually command your own ship, while Captain Picard turns into a schizophrenic. But man, who'd have thought it? Wesley becomes a bad boy!"

Beverly: "This particular scan may affect certain nerve pathways that could--"
Deanna: "Oooooooooohhhh!"
Beverly: "--trigger an orgasm."
Deanna: "Oh, my... Beverly, do it again!"

Picard: "Oh, just great Beverly. We finally get in the mood and finally have no interruptions, but we still can't do it."
Crusher: "I'm so sorry, Jean-Luc. I could have sworn I had a few condoms in my med kit."

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Geordi: No doc, This isn't fixing my VISOR. And now I'm having visions that I'm hosting some TV show from the 80s

Beverly: And then she said Whateveer!! And I was totally like Whateveer! And then she said Whateveer!! And I was totally like Whateveer!....

Picard: Ugggh!

Fans response to Frakes announcement of 'ClockStoppers 2'

Beverly: Ahhh!!! Worf's been infected WITH THE TENTACLE HENTAI VIRUS!!!!!!!!!

Picard: Captain's log. We have reached a planet that is apparently made of vomit. I've ordered Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher to beam down and investigate it.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "OH papa warned me about face palming too much; 'keep doing that and it's gonna stay that way!'. If only I had listened, and done it correctly this last time."


OR:

Hair today, gone tomorrow!


OR:

Picard: "Oh -- I'm running my hands threw my hair, that's all."

Beverly: Heavy, dry sarcasm, "You're really reaching..."

What it ULTIMATELY took to get rid of any lasting mnemonic remnant of "Code of Honor"...

 

[Nerys Myk]

OGAWA (os):So what does this device do, Dr Crusher?

CRUSHER: (os): Nothing. I'm just messing with him.

TROI:And I'd like at least a D Cup.

PICARD: If you're going to use your "personal massager" why am I here?

CRUSHER: Who said it was for me?

PICARD: *Ulp*

CRUSHER: Don't worry, Will. I've called in a Specialist.

SPECIALIST: Brain and brain. What is brain?

CRUSHER: Breath mints, Worf. Think about it.

 

[Supernuke]

Geordi: Brighter, Doc, Brighter!!! Oh yeahhhh that's the stuff!!

 

[LeadHead]

Crusher: Anything different?

La Forge: Yeah, now my VISOR gets HD!

 

[Subcommander R.]

Crusher (OS): Geez, this laser eye surgery thing is harder than the Ikea manual made it seem...

Crusher: Lie still Deanna, your case of Sideboob is extremely severe.

Picard: God Beverly! You look like a hobo in a wig this frame!

Chinese Man (OS): No Beverly! Acupuncture needles not to go in brain!

Star Wars/Star Trek Crossover: Force lightning no longer so impressive.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Tron: The Next Generation

Picard: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! BEVERLY, PLEASE! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!

 

[Gary7]

Borg Drone 1: "It is futile. The nano probes refuse to assimilate this one, even with direct injection into the brain."
Borg Drone 2: "It appears there is significant brain processing devoted to another being known as Deanna Troi; the persistent yearning with no satisfaction creates too much confusion."

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: But you said-

Crusher: I'm sorry, Hair Club for Men doesn't deliver to this sector.

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win!~Mistral

Crusher: "Oh, c'mon, Jean-Luc! I have just the thing right here..."

Picard: "No, no, a thousand times 'No!' The eyebrows are all I have left and I'm keeping them!"

 

[Starbreaker]

Not the heroin again, Beverly.

 

[phenyx2]

"I'm sorry Jean-Luc...the test strip indicates I'm pregnant."

 

[Alrik]

Geordi: "Yellow."

Crusher: "Very good. Lets try the next color."

Geordi: "This audition for 'Reading Rainbow, The Next Generation' isn't quite what I'd expected."

Crusher: "Well, Jean Luc, there's no denying it any longer. Wes is yours after all."

Riker decides to take piercing to the next level.

Picard: "Captains log, suplimental. We have achieved orbit over New Los Angeles."