TNG Caption This #159 - 'Res-Q-Phone'

[cultcross]

And we are finished for contest 158. [highlight]THE WINNERS![/highlight] for these images are:

For the first image:

Data, if you don't figure out that damn table cloth trick, you're going to be the new lining for the bloody warp core

For the second:

"This is the police, Mr. La Forge! You and Captain Picard are in grave danger! Get out of the house now, the killer is the and...BZZZZZZZZ"

Data: "Apologies, Geordi, the line appears to have gone dead".

And photoshop prize to:

Picard hurries to locate his sand castle tools.

New for this contest, we have:

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

"No! No, this isn't Ambassador Riva at all! It's a mask, no doubt concealing the culprit! You are under citizen's arrest, sir! Off with this diabolical disguise!"

"Something in the Earl Grey?"

"The drug in the tea worked perfectly. With Jean-Luc out of the way and court-martialled in disgrace, this ship will soon be mine. The question is, Data: are you with me...or against me? Choose...wisely"

 

[jep]

Data: "Yes Dr., I am anatomically correct, but are not you and the Captain romantically involv---"?

Crusher: "Jean Luc is a nice guy, Data, and is in charge of a gigantic starship... but when it comes to the Captain's dinghy..." <Closes fingers>

Data: "I see..."

 

[Triskelion]

Hippy!

 

[Hedbergian]

Jean Luc Tucker: CANYOOOOUNDERSTAAAAANDTHEWERRRRDSTHATARECOMINOUTTAMYMOUTH??!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

BOTH TOGETHER:"The Deaf WOMEN!!!!!!"

BEVERLY:"You...you've got a booger in your nostril.

R-right...there.

Just thought I'd tell you."

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: French kiss me you fool!

Crusher: Is my mustache that visable?

Crusher: My finger smells like shit.

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Doctor, is that a medical scanner in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 

[Hedbergian]

When he first got on the Enterprise, the Captain was such a cheapass. No insurance, health, dental or for his house in the Palisades, or for his car. He'd invite dignitaries into the observation lounge and grab them by the face:

"Give me a check-up! A CHECKUP!!!!"
"I'm ... I'm not a dentist!"
"THEN GIVE ME A LOLLIPOP YOU F@CK!!!!"

BEVERLY: You wanna go back to my quarters and ... smell my hair?
DATA: You are one crazy bit@h.

 

[Daneel]

Rule #1: Never get Picard started on a Shakespeare quote-athon unless you're prepared for the consequences.

DATA: "I... I am sorry Doctor. That has never happened to me before. It has been a while, you see, and --"

CRUSHER: "Data, that's... okay. I'm sure it happens to all androids at some point."

DATA: "Yes... thank you. I trust you will not mention this to anyone else? Deanna, for instance?"

CRUSHER (zips her mouth): "Don't worry. It's in the vault."

 

[jep]

Unfortunately for Riva, the reports of the death of the last Salt Vampire
on planet M-113 eighty-three years ago were greatly exaggerated.

 

[jep]

Coming soon to a theater near you:

Brokeback Starship.
Because Love Is a Force of the Universe.

 

[26138]

Picard: THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!

 

[Starpaul20]

Picard: HELP! THIS UNIFORM IS CHAFING MY BALLS!!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

It's just a TV show!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIVA: I said no tongue!

DATA: Shut up amd unzip me!

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: What was that show?? The guy would open his mouth like this and then suck the soul out of someone! Was it an MST3k? I don't remember!
Riva: I don't know, Babylon 5?
Picard: No no no, I'm not talking about the Gou'a'uld! Veronica Mars the Vampire Slayer? Dr Who?? I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!
Riva: Why did you even bring it up???

Data, be honest. Does the "product" work?
No, Doctor. I can still see your mustache. Also, you tend to twirl it when you are thinking about something. It is how we always win your clothes at poker.

 

[Gepard]

Picard administers the 24th century Breathalyzer test.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "I SAID, I LIKE THE FEEL OF YOUR BEARD!"

Data: "Inquiry Doctor, The World's Smallest Violin?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Blackadder Appreciation Night

Picard: "Aaaarghhhh!! You have a woman's beard Mr Riva. I'll wager that beard has never been woven into rope, used to bind you, and then flay you within an inch of your life!"

Riva whimpers: "Mother!"