TNG Caption This #151 - "Twist and Caption"

[cultcross]

That's finally it for another contest folks, and so on to our [highlight]WINNERS![/highlight]

For the first image, we have:

Riker: "Okay. It says next move, right foot blue."

And for the second:

First contact with the denizens of the Tick Nebula went quite poorly once the itching spread below the torso.

The multi-pic award goes to:

Riker: "Low on disk space? Wait a minute; who's been downloading all this porn?"

Picard: "Uh, yeah...um. I guess you...could delete all that, Number One."

And finally, the special photoshop award, a subtle one this week which formed a bit of a theme:

Like printed books, poker, and classical music, some human traditions never died.

Well done everybody!

On to this week's images:

 

[Vassa]

Worf (thinking): Why doesn't he stare into my eyes like that?


Starfleet Cadets' Training Manual page 334

figure 4.2.3- Yes, that is, in fact, what you think it is.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Worf: "If either one of you says 'He's behind me, isn't he?', I will kill you where you sit."

"A couple hundred credits worth of miniaturised scanning technology, three years at Starfleet Academy, posting to the Federation flagship, all to tell me I'm looking at a red cowpat."

 

[NathanielM]

Riker: So Data how bout a kissth you sthilly beastht.
Data: Commander, I never thought you would ask!

Worf <thinking> What the hell? When did those two go GAY? Where the hell is my boytoy Wesley!

Security officer: Sir! We have found the bones of Jimmy Hoffa!
Riker <off screen>: Well goddamn it only took someone three hunded years!

 

[NathanielM]

Riker: Do you smell something?
Data: Commander, I am not sure, It seems like it is a combination of methane and carbon...

Worf: Yea Yea I farted on the bridge... everyone DIS the klingon...

Security officer: Sir! I found the animatronic shell of Dick Clark's head!

 

[Hedbergian]

The StarFleet Dating Service. Press 5 to record your greeting.

*beep*

I'm fun-loving, I ... I get along with people very well. I mean, like today, I beamed down with my team and ... scanned a pile of broken pottery. And tomorrow I'll ... likely beam down to scan some dirt. Then maybe I'll mix it up and beat my supervisor with a tricorder. And who the hell am I combing my hair back for anyway? "Everyone, this is my boyfriend Bill. He scans trash. ooooooo what a catch." Oh, and I'm not stalkerish or anything, like I won't stand outside your door for hours waiting for you to wake up and notice that you HAVEN'T been paying ANY ATTENTION TO ME FOR THE LAST TWO MONTHS.

So, if you're interested, press 2. ... I love you?

*beep*

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Riker: Mr. Data, would you join in me in a laugh at Mr. Worf's expense?
Data: May I remind you, Commander, that as in andriod, I am incapable of laughing.
Worf: I know what you're trying to do, Commander. And you can suck my ridges! So can Tonka toy over there.

On Away Missions, it was Ensign Johnson's duty to pick up Mr. Worf's droppings.

 

[John Picard]

Riker was determined to beat Data in a "No blinking" contest, which provided Worf with much amusement.

 

[scottydog]

Worf: "Straighten up you two."

 

[Triskelion]

Data: <squeak squeak>
Riker: ...
Data: <squeak squeak>
Riker: ...
Data: <squeak squeak>
Riker: ...
Data: <squeak squeak>
Riker: ...
Data: <squeak squeak>
Worf: IT HAS BEEN FOUR HOURS! I QUIT! I QUIT! <runs out>
Data: <squeak squeak>
Riker: ...

Picard <on communicator>: What is it, Ensign?
Ensign: It's pieces of an ancient hair helmet sir. Permission to bring it back for further study.
Picard: Granted!

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "If you ever Rick Roll me again, I will kill you where you stand!"

Riker (off camera): "Oh, don't worry, Ensign; I'm sure it's perfectly fine. Have you ever heard of someone dying from an exploding rock before?"

 

[T'Boggan]

Riker; "Is he scowling at me? he's doing it now isnt he? I'm not even looking at him and he's scowling! god I hate it when he does that!"

Ensign; "Sir all that is left of the security officer is his Ass, his Penis and his posing pouch."

 

[scottydog]

Ensign: "The Captain's piggy bank has broken. And inside it are.... tampons?"

Picard: "I was going to tell you all eventually, honest!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Worf: "And when will 'One Cheek Squeak' class be over, exactly?"

Ensign Zmed: "It's not Data's penis."
Picard, filtered: "How can you tell?"
Ensign Zmed: "Uh, well ... I just know."

 

[Nerys Myk]

ENSIGN: Pretty sure its the Captain, Rand. You're 100 year streak is unbroken.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Ensign Yellow Zipper: Aw... shit.
Riker (off-screen): Ensign?
Ensign Yellow Zipper: Shit, sir. This is shit.

 

[Alrik]

Sweet! A Win! Thanks a lot.

Riker: "So you're saying it goes down to..."

Data: "Yes sir, here."

Riker: "Damn. Fully functional...AND hung. That clears a few things up."

Ensign: "So much for that promotion. Once the Captian finds out I broke the Urn carrying his mother's ashes, I'll get the Harry Kim treatment."

 

[Holdfast]

Even in the 24th century, attempting to propose marriage with a tricorder instead of a ring ends with a vase broken over your head and a would-be fiancee fleeing the scene.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

This is what the Federation sent me here for? Exploring alien caprolites?

Nope, no conspiracy here... except the one to make security guards do all the dirty work. Very dirty. But don't tell Worf!

 

[Tan Ru]

The new Blackberry split-squats. Fresh at your local grocers today!