TNG Caption This #147 - "Last Bill and Testament"

[Quagmire58]

These budget cuts are rediculous...now we are borrowing lights from the Cylons in Battlestar.

PICARD:The water is cold.
BEVERLY: Deep too.

 

[Cky]

Little did everyone know, but behind that console Mr. Pop n' Fresh was eating another crew member.

Picard: I'm so sorry Beverly.
Crusher: It's okay Captain, I understand.
Picard: It's just, I couldn't stand Wesley's annoying "I'll save the ship but can't pass the academy" shit anymore.

 

[Shatmandu]

Crusher: "Because Geordi's not bald. And not hung like a tick. That's why."

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard's idea of getting action lately involved inviting women over to his quarters and turning down the thermostat until their high beams came on.

 

[cooleddie74]

CRUSHER:"Poor, poor Livingston."

PICARD:"At least he died as he lived. Swimming in a pool of fluids."

CRUSHER:"That reminds me...are you bringing discipline charges against my son or not?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard: [Thinking"Don't look at her Tits."

Crusher: [Thinking]"Don't look at his crotch."

 

[Triskelion]

Bevery: Did Q...make you lose bowel control too?
Jean-Luc: What? Yes, it was Q.

Geordi <on combadge>: With the main deflector tied into replicator control, we should have about 4000 hot pockets ready for eating in about 4 seconds!
Riker: How long will it take to transport them directly into the crew's stomachs?
Crusher: This is so unethical.
Worf: Mine's a Gagh Pocket.

 

[Rat Boy]

The days after the bathhouse nights were always the most awkward.

 

[cooleddie74]

"That's some fine distance on that stream, Beverly. Just imagine what you could do if that were your urine!"

RIKER:"That's it. No more CFL bulbs in the Okudagrams."

 

[Alrik]

Crusher: .....our lord. Amen.

Picard: All right then. NOW can we eat?

Frakes: Here comes the sun, la la la la, Here comes the sun and I say.....

McFadden: What in the hell are you doing John?

Frakes: Hey, I figued I couldn't do any worse than Shatner's "Rocket Man".

 

[NathanielM]

Picard: "And so, crew, Doctor Crusher is very sorry for saying 'croissant' like a douchebag for, lo, these seven years."

damn you shat... good one...

 

[NathanielM]

Picard: <thinking> Now was that an ODE to the letter B or was that D? Damn!

Crusher: Wake up Jean luc, yer missing the Yoga instruction...

 

[jgdst]

Data: Everyone! You must stop looking at that immediately... it's a distraction, DEANNA HAS THE HELM!

Pulaski: WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING?! *gaaarrrrgle*
Picard: Meh... the redhead was here first...

 

[Shatmandu]

Crusher: "My God. It does look like a Coke can."
Picard: "Clogged the toilet right up."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McFadden: "A minute's silence for Brent Spiner's dignity..."
Stewart: "When was that resurrected?"
McFadden: "Shh, a little respect!"

Crusher: "I can't do it with you watching Jean-Luc."
Picard: "You of all people should know Starfleet's mandatory drug test policy, all samples being given must be witnessed by a superior officer in the process of being given. I had to do this in front of Admiral Satie last year. Don't be so nervous!"
Crusher: "Who's nervous? It's just that you watching me is turning me on too much."
Picard: "Kinky..."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"There must have been some magic in that old Okudagram we found..."

PICARD:"Impressive, Doctor.

I never thought you'd get the pleasure fist that far in there. HOLD STILL, Alyssa!"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

RIKER:"Guys, I said a 40 watt bulb."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"NO !!!!

I told you...NOBODY opens the Okudagram of the Covenant!!!

Look away, everyone!!!"

 

[David]

Picard: Beverly what are you doing?
Crusher: Jean Luc, I'm checking for a pulse.
Picard: There!
Crusher: It's the only way to check on a Bolian.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER (whispering): I gotta pee.

PICARD: You'll have to hold till we get to the next Starbase.