TNG Caption This #139 - "String Theory"

[Rat Boy]

Data: "Perhaps your nose would not bleed so much if you did not pick it so often."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: About the steroids Wes.....

 

[Gertch]

Data: "How long do you intend to constrict Wesley's airway? It has been 47 minutes. He is most definitely dead. Should you not let go."
Picard: "But it feels SO good."

 

[scottydog]

Data: "How long do you intend to constrict Wesley's airway? It has been 47 minutes. He is most definitely dead. Should you not let go."
Picard: "But it feels SO good."

Very nice. Here's an equally twisted follow-up:

Data: "Sir, Wesley is dead. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation will not help him at this point. Sir? Sir?"

*the sound of passionate kissing fills the room*

 

[Shatmandu]

Data, after one head twitch: "Captain, I can access seventeen better ways to refill your fishbowl."

-- or --

Data: "Sir, 'teabagging' is not any Starfleet First Contact protocol I was aware of."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"Well, since you're a Temp while Commander Data and Ensign Crusher are gone I'll make the instructions as simple as possible.

Accelerate.

Decelerate.

Change course starboard.

Change course port.

Slow stop.

Rinse.

Spin.

Eject.

Bisexual."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Doctor Crusher failed the rabbit test...did she not, sir?"

 

[Triskelion]

Captain? Captain? Would not you teaching me BM hygeine bring me one step closer to being human?

Ensign I want all these boogerprints cleaned before the end of your shift.
But Sir...they're Ensign Ro's.
Ro is busy cleaning out something else.
Good luck on your date tonight, Commander.

 

[Shatmandu]

Data, after one head twitch: "Captain, historical data shows shaking it that many times is not the norm."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Data: Captain, there is no need for the uncontrolled release of fluids from your tear ducts. I am certain that this caption contest will soon come to an end.
Picard: But, Data... (weeping)... I just can't take any more.

 

[scottydog]

Picard: But, Data... (weeping)... I just can't take any more.

Oh yeah?

Data: "Captain, I must protest. It has been 47 minutes with the same holodeck sheep...."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Riker: Wes, you really should've changed back into your uniform after the circuit party.

 

[cooleddie74]

"So...Captain...

how long does this...sit-down potty training...normally require? My positronic net does not contain any reference files on this human custom."

RIKER:"GET that short story about that 'Lard Ass' pie-eater off the display, Wes!

Where do you think you are...the Oregon woods with your buddies?"

 

[scottydog]

RIKER:"GET that short story about that 'Lard Ass' pie-eater off the display, Wes!

Where do you think you are...the Oregon woods with your buddies?"

Wesley: "Commander, please don't stand by me."

 

[Trekker4747]

"Ok, now - oh man, you're going to love this! Click on the link that says "Two Girls and a Cup..."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"GET that short story about that 'Lard Ass' pie-eater off the display, Wes!

Where do you think you are...the Oregon woods with your buddies?"

Wesley: "Commander, please don't stand by me."

RIKER:"Watch it, young man.

Or I'll make Data's cat Spot sic balls."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I believe, sir, that...some three hundred and seventy years ago on Earth...this would have been an appropriate time to pull out a roll of MENTOS and liven the mood."[/b]

 

[Triskelion]

Standard orbit, Mr Crusher. Are you ready for your first duty as ship liaison officer, Wes?
A little nervous, sir.
Not to worry, you'll do fine. Riker to Captain. We've arrived at the Frisch's Big Boy planet.

Sir. The crew has asked me to speak to you about your compulsive toenail clipping.
Look at that piggy, Data. LOOK AT IT! It's a perfect arc!

 

[Shatmandu]

After Dr. Crusher accidentally published Riker's extensive medical history with STDs ship-wide, he was especially hard on Wesley.

Data: "The zipper is in the back, Captain. Not sure why."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hit that key up there, Wes.

That's the TIVO activator. I wanted to see if the system recorded my show while we were off the bridge."

"Note for Starfleet Command the next time you speak with Admiral Nechayev, sir...

The new fabric softener with bleach alternative? NOT an optimal choice."