TNG Caption This #135 - "Window Pressing"

[cultcross]

That's it for another contest here at TNG Captioning headquarters, bit slower this time (only so many jokes possible fro those pics I think) but as always we got some doozies

The first image, featuring the Claw of Picard (tm) was harder to judge, but I settled on:

In France, the consequence the kids are threatened with is not hairy palms...

And the winner for the second image was much more obvious straight away:

Troi: "I dunno Data, I preferred the stick on Garfield."

congrats to you both.

This weeks images are a bit... pre-photoshopped, I guess you could say. enjoy!

 

[Holdfast]

Congrats to the winners. This contest's screencaps are awesome. I'm laughing even without captions.

- "Mmmm, feels just like that crazy night in Risa"

- "I wish this was Captain Picard in my hand"

- "Deanna uses THIS? I feel so inferior..."

- "Finally, I'm not the most wooden actor in a scene"

- "I think it's looking at me"

- "This was all that was left of him after we pulled him out of the warp core"

- The Borg Queen's latest attempt at grafting organic tissue onto Data had less than pleasing aesthetic results.

- Data switches from playing the violin to giant maracas

 

[May 20]

I understand "speak softly", but what I am supposed to do with the big stick he told me to carry?

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "So that's what's been up my ass all these years?"

Data: "It is finger-licking good."

 

[Gertch]

Riker: "I hate staff meetings. I am SO board."

Data: "You might say I'm a mutton for punishment. Or perhaps not."

or

Data: "My birdy bwoke his widdle beak."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Inform Dr. Crusher I've developed a staph infection.

 

[Outpost4]

"I'm going as fast as I can, Mr. Worf."

 

[Outpost4]

Data: Computer, I said I wanted a friar, not a fryer.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Riker: "Ah! My trusty quarterstaff... Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling them that."

Data: "Stupid dyslexic Q! He asks me what would make me feel more human and I said I wanted to try a fu.."

Room: "Data!"

EDIT: Just realised I won. Yay for me!

 

[John Picard]

Riker: "What the hell, it worked for Donald Blake. I'll give it a shot."

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, thanks much for the win!

Today, I am a GOD.

Outpost4 beat me to it, but there's this ...

Riker: "Mister Worf, why are you lying naked on the floor?"

Data: "Has anyone seen Spot?"
Worf: "Just eat."

 

[Triskelion]

For someone who's a Klingon warrior, your kung fu's really lousy.

Let's see how the Zakdorn Stratagema Master likes being beaten to death with a chicken leg.

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "Now that's a Slim-Jim."

Data: "Mr. Owl? What have they done to you?!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "Wow, Data, you really are fully functional."

Data: "I do not swing that way!"

 

[Gertch]

Well guess I wasn't fast enough with my Wesley head...

"Wesley, the Captain did say shut up."

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Riker: "'Work that pole,' sir?"

Picard: "Come on, Number One. Show me who's a dirty, sexy bitch!"

Data: "Sir, why would Counselor Troi refer to this as 'Mandingo'?"

 

[Triskelion]

Commander Riker and Lucky performed a crowd-pleasing "Captain's Log" routine, but took second place to the talent contest's surprise favorite....

Mr Slappy and his Soong-type android.

 

[Gepard]

Data: "Has anyone seen Spot?"
Worf: "Just eat."

It's like shooting fish in a barrel for you, isn't it?

 

[John Picard]

Moments before: *KA-BOW* Followed by a thud.

Riker: "Shut up, Wesley."

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: "So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!'"