Would this be a proper place for this? This might have something to do with my MS, multiple sclerosis.
Tinnitus. It has been with me for over a decade and I think I had gotten used to it.... until now, it feels it has gotten worse.
I'm afraid to do things. If my neck itches I barely touch it to scratch because I'm afraid it might make this worse. Neck muscles may have something to do with tinnitus, or so I've learned. I'm right handed but I try to do things with my left hand as much as possible. Again in the fear it might make it worse. I like music but I'm almost afraid to listen to good music with enough volume to get into it. Also, I edit some of the songs, structures and things like that and those own versions are the bigger concern, I'm afraid to listen to them. I do listen to them but quietly.
Fortunately there are occasions when it is possible to forget the noise. The problem is that everytime I remember it I get annoyed. I don't even know how many times a day.
As I write this I think if anyone read this far you might think "well, his stupid". I might be, I'm not arguing that but over a decade of this shit in my head has taken me into its control.
And to top it all off, I'm actually little afraid to post this in the fear how it might affect tinnitus. I realize it won't but still. Wow, I am going mad with this.