Throw things or silence?

[K'Ehleyr]

So this morning Man called me 'a stupid cow'!
We were in bed at the time [TMI says Zee] messing around, as you do, sparing you the details (which were not rude!) he ended up calling me a stupid cow.
Well I take offence to this, wouldn't you?!
I consider myself to be neither of limited intelligence or of bovinae descendancy.
So I'm sulking. I'm on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex and talking.
What do you do in this situation? Would you insult back? Shout and have a huge row? Have a cold war?

 

[gturner]

If you go on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex, and talking, but start eating grass and giving him strange looks, won't that just prove his point?

*runs and hides*

 

[Kestra]

A true Klingon would throw things.

 

[Amaris]

So this morning Man called me 'a stupid cow'!
We were in bed at the time [TMI says Zee] messing around, as you do, sparing you the details (which were not rude!) he ended up calling me a stupid cow.
Well I take offence to this, wouldn't you?!
I consider myself to be neither of limited intelligence or of bovinae descendancy.
So I'm sulking. I'm on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex and talking.
What do you do in this situation? Would you insult back? Shout and have a huge row? Have a cold war?

If he is intelligent, he has already realized he has made a terrible mistake. Your best option is to continue being silent and cold until he is goaded into confirming his suspicions, and then making up for his lack of foresight.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

If I were a cow I'd be offended by that comparison.

 

[Mary Ann]

A true Klingon would throw things.

This! Seriously, I'd say keep up with the silent treatment. It works for me...sometimes.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

If you go on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex, and talking, but start eating grass and giving him strange looks, won't that just prove his point?

*runs and hides*

A true Klingon would throw things.

I'm only half Klingon and try to repress that side anyway

So this morning Man called me 'a stupid cow'!
We were in bed at the time [TMI says Zee] messing around, as you do, sparing you the details (which were not rude!) he ended up calling me a stupid cow.
Well I take offence to this, wouldn't you?!
I consider myself to be neither of limited intelligence or of bovinae descendancy.
So I'm sulking. I'm on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex and talking.
What do you do in this situation? Would you insult back? Shout and have a huge row? Have a cold war?

If he is intelligent, he has already realized he has made a terrible mistake. Your best option is to continue being silent and cold until he is goaded into confirming his suspicions, and then making up for his lack of foresight.

Oh he is very intelligent and knows full well what he has done. He is also as stubborn as a mule (Ah must remember that one ~ animal refs and that!)
But I'm going to have to be the one that brings it up again. And explain exactly why he offended me.
Honestly MEN
(present company apart)

If I were a cow I'd be offended by that comparison.

But you're not a cow, you're more of a boar

 

[K'Ehleyr]

A true Klingon would throw things.

This! Seriously, I'd say keep up with the silent treatment. It works for me...sometimes.

I truly wish I could shout and scream to Man and Son but I just can't. I end up getting too emotional and in tears which is definately not the Klingon way

I just end up kicking the cat! (joke)


I do swear at them in Klingon though ~ it keeps me happy!

 

[Kestra]

I made my sister so angry once she kicked a bed and broke her toe. Don't kick things!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I'm more a silent-treatment type, given how totally and utterly passive-aggressive that I am.

The first part of the previous sentence is a total lie, BTW. I'm the type who is so afraid of fighting that I will quite readily confess to shit I didn't do, just to STOP the fighting (or prevent it from ever occurring).

(The passive-aggressive part? Now THAT's truth.)

 

[Smiley]

You're going to have to talk to him at some point about his thoughtless remark. Until both of you feel like doing so, however, you may as well give him the silent treatment. At least you can't say something that you will regret when you say nothing.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I made my sister so angry once she kicked a bed and broke her toe. Don't kick things!

I'm sorry about your sister's toe but that really did make me

There's a lovely young neighbour guy who stops and pets the cats outside our block of flats. Yesterday he was playing with The Squeak (my cat) and I leant out of the window and asked neighbour guy how he was doing. He said fine and that the day before Squeak had bit him!
There really isn't much you can reply to that apart from 'sorry', but he has a cat himself and understands what rascals they can be.
I want to be a cat. I'd be fed, sleep as long as I liked and be petted by strangers.
Actually take that last bit out

 

[Vulcan Princess]

I think Smiley hit the nail on the head. If you leave it totally alone, it will just fester, but it's good to let things simmer down a bit before talking about it, so you can both be a bit calmer.

(On a side note, I've always thought that the advice to never go to bed angry is pretty lousy advice. Sometimes a good night's sleep can help everyone cool off and get some perspective.)

 

[sidious618]

There's nothing more immature than "the silent treatment." Not talking about how you feel is what leads to failed marriages.

That and children, of course.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Sometimes a good night's sleep can help everyone cool off and get some perspective.

Even if said sleep involves the garage for one of the participants?

Not talking about how you feel is what leads to failed marriages.

And therein lies the problem, since we guys are not SUPPOSED to talk about how we feel.

 

[JarodRussell]

The question is: Why exactly did he call you a stupid cow?

 

[thumbtack]

Beat him up. Women are still allowed to hit.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I hope it wasn't because she told him to mooooooooove over.

Maybe she felt that Man(ure) was just feeding her a line of bull? She probably couldn't take an udder minute of it.

Oh well... As he pasture in the hallway, he should just leather be for awhile and hopefully never steer each other wrong.

 

[Jadzia]

So this morning Man called me 'a stupid cow'!
[...]
So I'm sulking. I'm on strike for cooking, cleaning, sex and talking.
What do you do in this situation? Would you insult back? Shout and have a huge row? Have a cold war?

The best solution is to try and repair and strengthen your relationship. What you don't want to do is go on strike, have some guilt present bought for you, and for him to use that gift to coerce you into forgiveness.


What motivated him to say these words to you we do not know. Was it in response to something you said or did?

My first feeling is that it is just a saying, and he may not have meant it as literally/cruelly as you have taken it. The meaning behind his words may be nothing more than him disliking something you did/said.

But at the same time, you dislike the words he has used to express himself, and he should be made clear that you dislike them.

If I were in your situation I would explain this to him something like this

If you dislike [whatever it was I did/said], then I expect you to express yourself more politely in the future, and to take time to explain why you dislike something if it matters to you that much.

Besides being impolite and down right disrespectful, to label me 'a stupid cow' is unhelpful. It doesn't help me to understand your opinions. It doesn't help our relationship.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I'm more a silent-treatment type, given how totally and utterly passive-aggressive that I am.

The first part of the previous sentence is a total lie, BTW. I'm the type who is so afraid of fighting that I will quite readily confess to shit I didn't do, just to STOP the fighting (or prevent it from ever occurring).

(The passive-aggressive part? Now THAT's truth.)

The "hit someone or burst out crying" is something I struggle with.
I nearly did it at work at couple of weeks ago when I was 'left in the lurch' but realised the consequences that the former action would have. Since then the owner has been incredibly polite to me, perhaps he saw K'Ehyler simmering below

You're going to have to talk to him at some point about his thoughtless remark. Until both of you feel like doing so, however, you may as well give him the silent treatment. At least you can't say something that you will regret when you say nothing.

I think Smiley hit the nail on the head. If you leave it totally alone, it will just fester, but it's good to let things simmer down a bit before talking about it, so you can both be a bit calmer.

(On a side note, I've always thought that the advice to never go to bed angry is pretty lousy advice. Sometimes a good night's sleep can help everyone cool off and get some perspective.)

Is good advice, thank you. Man is out tonight and staying at his house as usual on a Friday.
I may or may not take his call when he gets home ~ I think perhaps not. I can text him and say I'm having an early night. I'm still angry and as you wise people say ~ sleep on it.
Man is stressed as the family home is being sold and he will miss it dreadfully, but I've tried to be as understanding as I can. But sometimes I want to just shake him.
Is that bad