Fascinating. Tell us more, as you're certainly remarkable in this respect.
To paraphrase someone: I can do that, if I have to. I guess.
Thoughts and Prayers
- Thread starter Trekker4747
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Fascinating. Tell us more, as you're certainly remarkable in this respect.
To paraphrase someone: I can do that, if I have to. I guess.
What, just because the insistence is verbally, it's okay?
Like, "Excuse me, Miss, would you please cover your face, as that is part of my religion?", and the woman would be an asshole about it if she disagreed?
No, because it is a request for a favour, not forcing somebody to do anything. He believed in the power of prayer not good thoughts, so that's what he asked for.
Only a complete selfish prick would refuse to help out a friend in their hour of need.
Selfish pricks, assholes. Why not get off the aggression train before it stops at the terminal?
If I think praying to a non-existent being doesn't help anything, I know I'm not helping out. I may be saying "Yeah yeah, I'll do.", but I still wouldn't do it.
If you followed that older discussion about lying to comfort someone, you'd know it's not true.
Why, what do you think praying without believing in it is? If it's not lying, it's acting at best.
That's not the point at all. His friend believes prayer will help, it doesn't matter what the person doing the praying thinks, they are doing it to make their friend feel better. They don't have to, it's just a nice thing to do.
You don't understand the motives or intentions of either party here.
You don't understand the motives or intentions of either party here.
It's good to be nice.
As a "believer" I have found that it is better if I do not mention "praying" for someone. There have been too many instances where I have inadvertently tread on someone's toes, so I simply say "my thoughts are with you and your loved ones" or if I wish to be constructive, I say "Is there anything we can do to help?"
It was okay with me and it made him happy. Nothing else mattered - certainly not the kind of self-consciousness and insecurity you're referring to here.
If anyone tried to make me do or say something that I chose not to, my response would probably be different. Knowing that I have an absolute free choice in such things relieves me of some silly anxieties. That may not be everyone's situation.
Because of my mother - bless her Cotton Socks - I was sent to quite a few Holy Roller, Born Again Churches knowing full well that I'm a devout Roman Catholic. But she was experimenting with Christianity, whilst I was as a kid and subjected me to the shit. As a result, I've seen some strange stuff. People getting "slain in the spirit" and apparently staged exorcisms ... I've had people coming up to me, out of the blue, asking me if I'm "$aved" and whatever else. So, when some peace lover comes up to me and says, "may You have a Blessed Day" or "god loves You," or whatever else ... it's so tame, mild and benign to me, that I don't think twice about it. I smile my big ol' Tom Sawyer grin at 'em, say "thank you," hope that's enough for them and then go about my business ...
Okay, I get that. But the point I'm trying to make is that you can't assume that everyone else will think the same way you do.
Oh, I know that. A "G" rated example of that is when I volunteered at a museum. I have a background as a sculptor and an interest in fossils, so I got to clean the dirt off of the backbone of a something or other in the back room, where visitors can come in and watch and ask questions. I'm sitting next to this blonde lady who's doing the same as I am and she she's yacking it up with this old couple. She misspoke herself and goes, "sorry, I had a blonde moment, there." Well, the granny started this rant about how she's (was) a blonde and how she resents that remark ... blah, blah ... of the blah. How can someone start shit out of nothing like that, in a museum, you know? A MUSEUM!!! Whatever ... in a hundred years, who's gonna care?
maquisleader
Ensign
Isn't insisting that someone do something they don't want to do, or don't believe make that person an asshole?
Well, "insist" is a loaded term, contextually it could mean anything from asking more than once to making threats. But at no point was there any suggestion that he felt unfairly coerced, so no.
Amazing that the notion of just being a decent person to your friends is so horrifying to some people. What fragile ego a person must have to not be able to put aside their non belief in something to make a simple gesture of kindness. How very sad.
I try to base it off of them. If I know they are religious, then I offer my prayers and like teacake say a little prayer in my head. Do I think this will help? Seeing as how it doesn't hurt anyone to try (assuming they are not counting on prayers and thoughts instead of medical treatment, but rather in addition to it), it could be, quite literally, the least I could do.
Saying it to them is the social convention and somehow sounds less trite than "I hope they get better." I do agonize over it, though, as it also comes off a little rehearsed to say it, rather than genuine, but I don't think someone in their situation is looking for originality in terms of your sentiments.
As has been said, it's not about me, it's about them. If they get comfort from hearing me say it, then that is all that matters.
Saying it to them is the social convention and somehow sounds less trite than "I hope they get better." I do agonize over it, though, as it also comes off a little rehearsed to say it, rather than genuine, but I don't think someone in their situation is looking for originality in terms of your sentiments.
As has been said, it's not about me, it's about them. If they get comfort from hearing me say it, then that is all that matters.
I probably would have done the same thing too if my friend had insisted upon it, but I wouldn't actually pray for him. I would lie and say that I did. The goal is to make my friend feel better, but I see no reason to actually go through with the mumbo jumbo.
True, but the reverse is also true: I am an atheist and have repeatedly been flamed for making a gesture of kindness. Interestingly, the flames came not from the person I attempted to comfort but from others who - at least on the outside - appear very religious.
I believe that it all boils down to the fact that an ass is an ass, regardless of what they believe or disbelieve in. That's why I never ask about a person's religious believes but simply treat them as fellow-humans and attempt to offer as much comfort as I can give when they need some. (And let the occasional ass kiss mine
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