Thoughts and Prayers

[Trekker4747]

A Facebook friend recently made a post that his grandmother passed away and, naturally, his FB friends were posting their condolences and such on his posting, including "thoughts" and "prayers" being with him and his family.

Other times when there's similar postings over people needing good wishes because they're going into surgery or suffering from some-sort-of problem people obviously do the same.

I often post "thoughts." Because I don't pray. I don't think saying things to a mythical being that may or may not exist is going to do anything but, then again, not that I think my thoughts of those in need are doing anything either.

I just think saying "thoughts" is more honest given that I don't pray so saying, "You have my prayers," is out-right lying.

What do you do in situations like this? Do you give those in need of them your thoughts or your prayers?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

If I know the person values prayer I will say that I will pray for them and then I do so. I don't know if there is a God but I figure if there is one why not? And if there isn't it's just thoughts with an extra word added. It's all about the person who is need, not my personal beliefs, though I realize that other people have more set in stone beliefs so that wouldn't work for them.

Best thing you can do is express your care and then do follow up. Ask them how they are going in a few days. That takes more "thought" than thoughts or prayer and it can be more meaningful to a person who realizes you care past a FB post.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

being an atheist, I never pretend I'd be praying. I try to comfort the person and make them feel that they are not left alone with their grieve or fear. In my experience a hug is often more helpful than a gazillion words.

 

[Kestra]

I say thoughts and prayers if it's appropriate, but I often pray at night so it's not a lie. I'd just stick with whatever is appropriate to the situation. Personally I'm not as crazy about hugs.

 

[JarodRussell]

Thoughts and prayers change a situation about as much as Facebook Likes. So, no.

I don't understand the rationale behind it either. A catastrophe happened (the different catastrophe buttons are all on God's desktop), so let's pray (to the guy who either caused the catastrophe, or who didn't stop it). So it's either stupid as you pray to the guy who caused it, or pointless, as you pray to the guy who didn't do anything about it in the first place. Or it's submissive, if you think you should have prayed more so that God would have stopped it (which again makes God not look too good).

So every time I see someone saying "i include you in my prayers", I'm like "whaaat?". Because I don't understand what he/she thinks it's going to help.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

It makes the person suffering feel cared about or at the very least thought about. And when you are in a bad situation you value such things.

The fact that you, JarodRussell would not value such things expressed that way doesn't mean it isn't real for others.

 

[JarodRussell]

It makes the person suffering feel cared about or at the very least thought about. And when you are in a bad situation you value such things.

The fact that you, JarodRussell would not value such things expressed that way doesn't mean it isn't real for others.

I express it a different way, like hugging, saying I'm feeling sorry, or actually helping out.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Excellent.

 

[Pingfah]

I often post "thoughts." Because I don't pray. I don't think saying things to a mythical being that may or may not exist is going to do anything but, then again, not that I think my thoughts of those in need are doing anything either.

A mythical being that may or may not exist?

Anyway, similarly I do not pray, so to offer prayers would be transparent bullshit to anyone who knows me.

 

[Rhaven]

I'm not the most religious person, but when I do say I'm sending a good thought and a prayer, I do so. My late husband would always say he would have a good thought on a subject or request. I've adopted that idea as I truly do like it.

 

[Yanks]

If I know the person values prayer I will say that I will pray for them and then I do so. I don't know if there is a God but I figure if there is one why not? And if there isn't it's just thoughts with an extra word added. It's all about the person who is need, not my personal beliefs, though I realize that other people have more set in stone beliefs so that wouldn't work for them.

Best thing you can do is express your care and then do follow up. Ask them how they are going in a few days. That takes more "thought" than thoughts or prayer and it can be more meaningful to a person who realizes you care past a FB post.

STANDS AND APPLAUDS!!!

It's not about "you". It's about comforting someone else.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I'll tell someone they're in my thoughts, and they can talk to me if they need someone to listen to them or vent to, and they can let me know if there is anything more I can do to help.

 

[Jan]

A friend of mine pointed out that sending thoughts or goodthoughts or healing vibes or whatever is really the functional equivalent to a prayer, just not to any deity. I liked that a lot so I'm now much more comfortable saying I'll pray for somebody if they're not familiar with what I believe or don't.


Jan

 

[ALF]

Thoughts = prayers.

 

[C. Cole-Chakotay]

Even though I'm a firm believer in God and prayer, I will usually post that I'm thinking or remembering them, especially if I am unsure about their beliefs.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Most of my friends are Christians (like me), and I do say "thoughts and prayers." When it's someone I don't know very well, I say "You're in my thoughts" or "positive vibes" or "Hang in there."

 

[maquisleader]

I like to "accidentally" post inappropriate comments. For example if someone posts that their dad died, I'll "accidentally" post a father/son or father/daughter event that's coming up. Then I'll play stupid like I thought they were saying their dad wanted to do something.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

^So I assume you're what, 14?

 

[sidious618]

I don't think I've ever said anything about thoughts and prayers as I find it to be a rather useless phrase, at least for me. I often offer help, be it in action or listening or advice.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

My late husband would always say he would have a good thought on a subject or request. I've adopted that idea as I truly do like it.

May I share in that adoption? I think your hubby had very wonderful thoughts.

[...]they can talk to me if they need someone to listen to them or vent to[...].

It does help and you're a damned good listener =)

I like to "accidentally" post inappropriate comments. For example if someone posts that their dad died, I'll "accidentally" post a father/son or father/daughter event that's coming up. Then I'll play stupid like I thought they were saying their dad wanted to do something.

Has the thought never occured to you that what you're doing there (or, I suspect, pretendingto do) is utterly cruel?
As young as you may be, you surely have lost someone or something you cared about. A grandparent died, perhaps, or the love of your life dumped you. You felt hurt, wanted to scream your pain into the world's face and perhaps sought a little sympathy from your friends or even from complete strangers. Anything, as long as it filled the void that loss left.
How would you like if in that situation someone made a comment about how much fun it is to hang out with grandparents or how wonderful it feels to be held by someone beloved?