This is why I don't even bother asking women out anymore!

[Aldo]

So I did something very unusual today, I actually asked someone out.

I had been crushing on this girl for about two or so weeks and I got to the point where I realized I could follow my usual path (crush on her forever and then when she disappears from my life I could be thinking "what if"), or I could just go for it...and what do I get in response?

"I have a rule, I don't date."

That's it, "I don't date." No kind of explanation as to why she doesn't date, not that one is needed, mind. But still, I would have felt better with a simple "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." Something a little more concrete.

I'm not mad, it just irritates me that every time I make an attempt, it blows up in my face.

At least I made an attempt, I guess that's something.

 

[Roshi]

If you tried to ask girls out once every 17 seconds and got that kind of responses, well, yes I guess you should be worried. But you only tried to get out of your usual shy/crush-on-girl-that-lasts-forever persona just ONCE!

It's not enough to get irritated.

 

[Gov Kodos]

Congratulations, you made an attempt. I agree its better than the 'what if' scenario you mentioned. Don't let it get to you and stay open minded to other folks down the road. Out of curiosity, did the word date get used in the offer? Such might have felt the offer was coming on too strong for such short acquaintance.

 

[Amaris]

So I did something very unusual today, I actually asked someone out.

I had been crushing on this girl for about two or so weeks and I got to the point where I realized I could follow my usual path (crush on her forever and then when she disappears from my life I could be thinking "what if"), or I could just go for it...and what do I get in response?

"I have a rule, I don't date."

That's it, "I don't date." No kind of explanation as to why she doesn't date, not that one is needed, mind. But still, I would have felt better with a simple "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." Something a little more concrete.

I'm not mad, it just irritates me that every time I make an attempt, it blows up in my face.

At least I made an attempt, I guess that's something.

Yes it is. Move on, there are plenty of women to talk to.
Just as an aside, when you use the term "I guess that's something", it's the kind of thing that can apply to anything that is subpar and lacking. I mean, I could eat a chocolate cake that's been sitting in the Sun for an hour, and while it's not delicious, soft cake, I guess that's something. That's the sign of someone willing to settle for less than what they want, but will always be aware that they could have had better under different circumstances.

Just talk to people naturally without expecting something more right off the bat. You'd be surprised where it can lead.

 

[Darth Duck]

So she doesn't date. Maybe she's just into casual, no-strings attached sex. Maybe she's having some right now. Naked, sweat pouring off her body as she spasms in ecstasy. Maybe there's some handcuffs and whips involved, maybe it's whipped cream. But all that doesn't matter. Move on, ask someone else out. Maybe they say yes, maybe they say no. But if you never ask, you'll get carpal tunnel syndrome.

 

[Aldo]

Just talk to people naturally without expecting something more right off the bat. You'd be surprised where it can lead.

Something that I honestly try to do, but I've been single for a very long time, it tends to get lonely. And yes, when I see something that could potentially be something, I do tend to rush a tad.

And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

 

[donners22]

That's not so bad. It's not like she mocked you, or slapped you or something. You made an effort, she wasn't interested for some reason which you don't know. No real loss to you. Wouldn't take it to heart.

 

[Amaris]

Something that I honestly try to do, but I've been single for a very long time, it tends to get lonely. And yes, when I see something that could potentially be something, I do tend to rush a tad.

Not to trivialize, but how long have you been lonely? I've had 2 dates in 13 years, neither of them lead to anything romantic. I had a hell of a time in Chicago last year, but aside from that, I am a 31 year old unattached male who has no prospects in any way with anyone about anything. Edgar Allen Poe calls me for a laugh.

And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

That's fine. She doesn't go to lunch. I'm sure there is someone who will. Exposing yourself to people (sit down, Shameless) will give you more of an opportunity to smooth out the roughness in your person to person interaction. The more you talk to people, the more your body practices it's verbal and non-verbal cues, the more comfortable you become in your own skin, which can be sensed by prospective partners.

The important thing, however, is to simply interact for the sake of companionship. It's nice to learn about someone you've never met before, and who knows where it might lead? Perhaps a future together, perhaps not, but enjoying the moment is worth the effort.

 

[Gov Kodos]

Perhaps she just doesn't like to start with something that means sitting and talking, or maybe she just doesn't want to go on a date. Don't let yourself backslide because of one bad outcome. You did good getting out of your usual rut. There's still more ladies to ask out. Maybe next time you might suggest grabbing a coffee or something else that doesn't require a sit down date feel which lunch could have for some. I don't know how often you might talk to this woman, but maybe coffee could still be acceptable.

 

[Shazam!]

That's fine. She doesn't go to lunch. I'm sure there is someone who will.

There isn't. I've checked.

 

[JoeZhang]

I've never understood the american practice of dating - let me see if I get this right? When you are dating, you can be seeing multiple partners right? Then when you are 'going steady' - you cut it down to one.

 

[wamdue]

I've never understood the american practice of dating - let me see if I get this right? When you are dating, you can be seeing multiple partners right? Then when you are 'going steady' - you cut it down to one.

despite having seen a few baseball games (on telly) ive never understood what first base is a woman, nor second base, nor third, nor forth, im guessing a home run is sex, but whats a grand slam, sex with 4 girls? Also im not sure if I want any RBIs on my score sheet in this sitution.

 

[JoeZhang]

Em... let's guess:

First Base - Kissing

Second base - Tops and fingers

Third base - Sex

Fourth base - Anal

 

[JarodRussell]

So I did something very unusual today, I actually asked someone out.

I had been crushing on this girl for about two or so weeks and I got to the point where I realized I could follow my usual path (crush on her forever and then when she disappears from my life I could be thinking "what if"), or I could just go for it...and what do I get in response?

"I have a rule, I don't date."

That's it, "I don't date." No kind of explanation as to why she doesn't date, not that one is needed, mind. But still, I would have felt better with a simple "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." Something a little more concrete.

I'm not mad, it just irritates me that every time I make an attempt, it blows up in my face.

At least I made an attempt, I guess that's something.

50% chance that, had you insisted a bit more, she had continued to say "but I fuck." Happened here, that's why I'm saying it.


"She doesn't date" doesn't mean you can't get her.

 

[Darth Duck]

First base is kissing, Second base is fondling, Third base is hand job/oral, Home run/Fourth base is sex (SEX!). I guess anal would be "in the dugout."

 

[spooky spice]

I'm not mad, it just irritates me that every time I make an attempt, it blows up in my face.

Look at the positives, she didn't laugh at you, swear at you, attempt to hit you, spit on you, or anything like that.

Try asking her if she wants to go for coffee. If she says "no", then try asking her to a movie, if she says "no", then give up and move on - she's not that in to you.

Basically, we women are encouraged to be aloof when a guy asks you out, supposedly it's to make you try asking a second, and possibly third time - this shows you have some sort of commitment to pursuing a relationship and will make for a better husband ...

IME it doesn't work, you act aloof, the guy calls you a bitch to your face and tells all his mates "she's a lezzie" ...

I cancelled my subscription to Cosmo.

 

[JoeZhang]

First base is kissing, Second base is fondling, Third base is hand job/oral, Home run/Fourth base is sex (SEX!). I guess anal would be "in the dugout."

This is why the british system is more straight forward, you go out, and then wake up in someone's bed.

Then you go get checked for the clap.

 

[Eleanor_zhDarjel]

Cheers.
German sistem is the same. Want to take me home, let's have fun, here is money for the taxi, no I will not call you (well, that is me, the not calling part)

 

[Robert Maxwell]

First base is kissing, Second base is fondling, Third base is hand job/oral, Home run/Fourth base is sex (SEX!). I guess anal would be "in the dugout."

This is why the british system is more straight forward, you go out, and then wake up in someone's bed.

Then you go get checked for the clap.

This is often done in the US. All you have to do is go to a bar, look for a woman you think you have a chance with, buy her drinks and chat her up (flattery is good) then leave--your place or hers, doesn't matter. The other person gets up in the morning, leaves, you never speak to each other again. Win!

 

[sidious618]

And no, the word "date" was never bandied about (I kind of paraphrased). Basically I invited this girl to lunch, and her response was "As a rule I don't go to lunch."

Then you should've said, "Well what about dinner?" Wear her down, man! You've still got breakfast, brunch, supper, afternoon snack, evening snack and a midnight snack to go!