"I don't make the schedules. Go bitch to HR."
Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!
- Thread starter Gil T.Azell
- Start date
I really have to watch what I say at work, people on my crew have taken me to HR 5 times in the last year. Luckily it all fell within the scope of my duties and responsibilities. I guess some people just can't handle the truth.
I hope nobody gets in trouble with their actual job because of something they say in this thread.
I don't have a co-worker like that, but we do get walk-in customers who must have bathed that morning in a tubful of horrible-smelling cologne. I want to say to these people, "Are you olfactorily challenged or something? Christ, you smell like a goddamn pimp."
Oh, and it's eau and retch.
^it's the thought that counts, scotpens 
This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!"
This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!"
This is by far my favorite word to use at work. They hate it.
I read this and was reminded of this cartoon from this week's papers:
http://oi46.tinypic.com/2s7xaag.jpg
"If you have time to surf the internet and make personal calls, you have time to do your job, so here's some work"
Speaking of ladies wearing pefume heavily, there is someone that sprays body spray or something in the afternoons and it causes migraines for me. I've asked them many times not to do this, so I'm afraid I may have to take this to a supervisor level.
Speaking of ladies wearing pefume heavily, there is someone that sprays body spray or something in the afternoons and it causes migraines for me. I've asked them many times not to do this, so I'm afraid I may have to take this to a supervisor level.
Why are you morons standing 10 deep at this time clock when the one right next to it is open?
-You're making a mountain out of a mole hill, get over it, it's NOT that big a deal.
-You've been doing this job how long? And I've been here one year. And yet I constantly have to call you to correct your shoddy work because you "forgot" how to do it. Ahh!
-Get over yourself, you are not that important.
Most of the responses I want to yell out are "oh my god, GET OVER IT." I have a co-worker who makes a big deal out of every little thing. She is swamped with work yet she constantly creates much more work for herself by obsessing over little details that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. I'm a perfectionist, I understand, but at some point you have to just get shit done, instead of spending hours worrying over something that no one will ever notice. She also does work that she just doesn't need to. For instance, we will be destroying all of our paper files soon because they've been digitized, but she still insists on spending hours making sure the folders look perfect, creating new labels and such. NO ONE WILL SEE THEM. WE ARE DESTROYING THEM. I tell her this and she says, "yes but I need to know for myself that I did it right."
Another co-worker can't get any work done if there is any noise at all. We have a small work space and many discussions need to take place in the hallway since we have no conference rooms and many offices are shared. But any time anyone starts a conversation anywhere near her cubicle, she starts her sighing and tongue clicking and eventually gets up and leaves or tells us to "take it inside an office." It's not like we're talking about personal stuff, these are important work matters. I understand it can be hard to concentrate, but I just want to tell her to get over it and learn to deal.
-You've been doing this job how long? And I've been here one year. And yet I constantly have to call you to correct your shoddy work because you "forgot" how to do it. Ahh!
-Get over yourself, you are not that important.
Most of the responses I want to yell out are "oh my god, GET OVER IT." I have a co-worker who makes a big deal out of every little thing. She is swamped with work yet she constantly creates much more work for herself by obsessing over little details that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. I'm a perfectionist, I understand, but at some point you have to just get shit done, instead of spending hours worrying over something that no one will ever notice. She also does work that she just doesn't need to. For instance, we will be destroying all of our paper files soon because they've been digitized, but she still insists on spending hours making sure the folders look perfect, creating new labels and such. NO ONE WILL SEE THEM. WE ARE DESTROYING THEM. I tell her this and she says, "yes but I need to know for myself that I did it right."
Another co-worker can't get any work done if there is any noise at all. We have a small work space and many discussions need to take place in the hallway since we have no conference rooms and many offices are shared. But any time anyone starts a conversation anywhere near her cubicle, she starts her sighing and tongue clicking and eventually gets up and leaves or tells us to "take it inside an office." It's not like we're talking about personal stuff, these are important work matters. I understand it can be hard to concentrate, but I just want to tell her to get over it and learn to deal.
Would you guys please shut the damned toilet door?!
I've worked at a Lowes, I said everything I have always want to.
The main ones were...
"This is America, I don't speak Spanish, so if you have a question learn English." The guy then followed me for 5 minutes before I had to go "Get the hint!"
One woman was being a pain, so I turned around, a foot away from her and called her a bitch and walked away.
Once and awhile I couldn't help someone and they would ask for a manager and my reply would be something like "I'd like to see one too, if you find one tell them I say hi".
A favorite of ours, someone was written up for once, was when someone asked "Where is the ______?" The number one answer, "Home Depot".
I didn't really fight or argue with coworkers that often, we just shared stories of how much we hate costumers and the no show managers.
The only thing I have ever held back on was going "Fuck off" to two of my managers (I had about 15). That place was a living hell, it's retail, but it's the hell of retail. Contractors ask you how to build things, really scary. Even my last day there I didn't tell my asshole boss to fuck himself. If I ever see him again I will, what a fucking lazy jackass.
The main ones were...
"This is America, I don't speak Spanish, so if you have a question learn English." The guy then followed me for 5 minutes before I had to go "Get the hint!"
One woman was being a pain, so I turned around, a foot away from her and called her a bitch and walked away.
Once and awhile I couldn't help someone and they would ask for a manager and my reply would be something like "I'd like to see one too, if you find one tell them I say hi".
A favorite of ours, someone was written up for once, was when someone asked "Where is the ______?" The number one answer, "Home Depot".
I didn't really fight or argue with coworkers that often, we just shared stories of how much we hate costumers and the no show managers.
The only thing I have ever held back on was going "Fuck off" to two of my managers (I had about 15). That place was a living hell, it's retail, but it's the hell of retail. Contractors ask you how to build things, really scary. Even my last day there I didn't tell my asshole boss to fuck himself. If I ever see him again I will, what a fucking lazy jackass.
I also work in a retail setting, and while I understand wanting to say rude things to customers from time to time, actually doing so is downright unprofessional. If I or one of my colleagues has to deal with a rotten customer we do so professionally and then have a moan about it out of earshot of any customers. We're lucky in that management is very supportive of us when dealing with difficult customers, but in turn we're expected to be professional at all times. It's a fair deal.
I work in a grocery store, and I love how my customers; not all of them, thank Rassilon; like to think that they're entitled to everything. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to holler: "You f**king annoy me, get the h*ll out of my store before I boot you out." They drive me crazy.
Ditto. There's plenty of time went interacting with customers on the otherside of the counter I just want to shout "TALK!" I swear, interacting with people I'm really beginning to think even though we've been around in this form for nearly 40,000 years human beings haven't quite completely evolved, or grasped, the whole "talking" thing.
