"Live Nude Girls" is code for: Girls dancing around in their underwear.
Things I've learned from watching TV and films...
- Thread starter trekkiedane
- Start date
In sitcoms and TV commercials, husbands/dads are always incompetent idiots, and wives/moms are always cool, wise, and have their shit together.
Unimportant characters can be killed with one bullet, but prominent ones require at least five bullets in order to be killed.
Half way though tracking down the bad guy, a cop must be hauled into his sergeant's office to get chewed out for "breaking too damn many rules".
Nerds (even ones with no money) can get hot chicks to sleep with them, as long as said nerds are "sensitive to the chicks' feelings".
Monsters never simply eat people---they must first throw back their heads and roar.
Unimportant characters can be killed with one bullet, but prominent ones require at least five bullets in order to be killed.
Half way though tracking down the bad guy, a cop must be hauled into his sergeant's office to get chewed out for "breaking too damn many rules".
Nerds (even ones with no money) can get hot chicks to sleep with them, as long as said nerds are "sensitive to the chicks' feelings".
Monsters never simply eat people---they must first throw back their heads and roar.
* authority figures (parents, guardians, law enforcement officials etc) never believe kids (of any age) when they try to tell them about the baddie / monster / alien / whatever that's threatening everyone and everything - regardless of evidence proving the existence of the threat. Said authority figures continue to disbelieve the kids right up until they themselves are maimed or killed by the baddie / monster / alien / whatever.
* however carefully planned, weddings are almost always completely farcical. Last-minute changes to pretty much any aspect of the ceremony are commonplace.
* childbirth is rarely straightforward. Farce is often involved, as are rare complications.
* children age very rapidly in their first few months / years of life. It's also common for kids to go from toddler to teenager almost overnight.
* however carefully planned, weddings are almost always completely farcical. Last-minute changes to pretty much any aspect of the ceremony are commonplace.
* childbirth is rarely straightforward. Farce is often involved, as are rare complications.
* children age very rapidly in their first few months / years of life. It's also common for kids to go from toddler to teenager almost overnight.
The fat, loud and obnoxious husband always has the hot, put together wife.
People on the run, always go home first to pack a small suitcase with clothes. The bad guy always shows up, because that's the first place you look. The people manage to escape but without the suitcase. Making going there moot in the first place.
Last edited:
Bad guys are just bad shots. They can have a bead on the hero fire off a thousand shots, and still miss.
If someone is driving in the wrong lane on the highway, all the other drivers will steer out of the way and no one will get into an accident. And there will be a lot of honking.
Fortunately there's always a ready suitcase under the bed or in the closet. Also, the clothes are always thrown in unfolded and hanging over the edges.
differing agenices never co-operate. there's always got to be a turf-fight between the Feds and local PD or between CIA and FBI or CIA and NSA or DIA or whatever other alphabet noodle.
failing that, agencies from other countries will bicker with the US ones.
failing that, agencies from other countries will bicker with the US ones.
When the bad guy is trying to follow the good guy in a car, if its important to the plot that he not notice, the car will be right behind him and he will not notice. However if a major plot point is that he notice, the bad guy will be several cars back and the good guy will notice anyway.
And don't be fooled it is not required that US armed Special Agents must be a US Citizen and agencies who actually follow the rules can have a foreign citizen naturalized in less then a year because the director said so.
I wish I had a laptop in the 90s. They were as light as styrofoam and you could start typing right away without turning it on. I did have a cell phone though. Fortunately no one took it away and threw it into the water or out the window of a moving car. And even if they did, I wouldn't just give them a big hug, smile, then agree to move on to a less harried cell phone-free life.
Alien craft, built for pilots with very different body shapes, can still be flown expertly by plucky US pilots, even with no actual practice time. In fact, he can outfly actual alien pilots.
Female cops, in both tv and movies, are typically ultra hot and can beat everyone's collective asses.
And she will carry the largest weapon, among cops the shotgun among Colonial Marines the machinegun.
When the situation is so scary and hopeless that a group of battle-hardened space marines are blubbering like babies and shitting their pants, a woman will take charge, whip them into shape, AND have time to be a protective mother figure to an orphaned little girl.
"Get away from her, you BITCH!"
(I just love that line!)
"Get away from her, you BITCH!"
(I just love that line!)
And to that point, there will always be a Sanford and Son type pick-up truck carrying hay or chickens that will overturn in front of the bad guy and dump its cargo all over the road.
Or a manure truck. "I hate manure!"
Falling shattered glass will never hurt anyone. (Iron Man 2.)
Similar threads
