Things I've learned from watching TV and films...

[scotpens]

• Every office building, industrial complex, and seagoing vessel has ventilation ducts big enough for a grown man to crawl through.
• A tough-guy hero will take a vicious beating from thugs without flinching, but he'll wince and moan when a woman tries to clean his wounds (Bogart's Law of Pain Tolerance).

. . . a week's grocery shopping for any size family can fit in two shopping bags. Alternatively, people always buy two bags of groceries every time they go shopping.

One of which always contains a stalk of celery sticking out above the top of the bag.

. . . Dreams are very literal and related to the storyline. They're never incomprehensible weird shit where you're walking down the street with Bing Crosby in The Road to Zanzibar and then he turns into a popsicle and is eaten by a swarm of parrots with unicorn horns.

Hey, we had the same dream!

A 90 lbs woman can kick the ass of a 200+ lbs man.

Especially if she's a gorgeous Asian babe with martial arts training. Sure it's not realistic, but ass-kicking Asian babes are HOT!

 

[trekkiedane]

. . . a week's grocery shopping for any size family can fit in two shopping bags. Alternatively, people always buy two bags of groceries every time they go shopping.

One of which always contains a stalk of celery sticking out above the top of the bag.

So true

 

[rainrotoka]

"Odyssey: Voyage To The Planets", I don't like this show.

 

[Deckerd]

Nobody ever watches television, or if they do, it's for a 5 second burst before it gets turned off.

 

[trekkiedane]

^Plus: whenever you turn on your television the thing you want to know about (or something that is important to your present situation) is on -and the segment rarely lasts more than 5 seconds.

"Odyssey: Voyage To The Planets", I don't like this show.

Wrong thread! or, alternatively: but what did you learn from watching it?

 

[Tom Hendricks]

When you eat in a restaurant, all the other diners talk in a soft whisper as not to disturb your dinning experience.

 

[Deckerd]

Ooh yes and when you're in a room where a rock band/singer/DJ is belting it out, you can still hear all the dialogue.

 

[Star Wolf]

The male hero types somehow always manage to own a pristine, mint condition, classic muscle car.

And the car has after market deflector shields so that when the action hero gets in a firefight and takes cover behind the car bullets are deflected away from both him and the car.

 

[trekkiedane]

Ooh yes and when you're in a room where a rock band/singer/DJ is belting it out, you can still hear all the dialogue.

Indeed and furthermore: ALL bars, discos, concerts, space ports, engine rooms, noisy places in general only have noise up to (but never exceeding) a level where you can hold a conversation -unless someone's life is at stake of course.

 

[Mistral]

Nobody ever watches television, or if they do, it's for a 5 second burst before it gets turned off.

Television shows are always interrupted by "special news breaks".

 

[Star Wolf]

Nobody ever watches television, or if they do, it's for a 5 second burst before it gets turned off.

Unless your name is Al Bundy or Homor Simpson. So now we know what TV producers actually think about us

 

[Captain Shaw]

Even though you work with the FBI/police force and not for them and are unarmed you will be allowed to bust into rooms to help arrest armed criminals.

 

[bluedana]

Nobody ever actually finishes a meal, especially breakfast. It's perfectly acceptable to ignore the eggs and bacon laid out on the table, grab a piece of dry toast and throw an off-hand goodbye over your shoulder as you head out the door to catch the bus. Your mom, who cooked this morning feast, will forgive you and not be at all upset because you remembered to kiss her on the cheek on your way out.

 

[Agent Richard07]

. . . a week's grocery shopping for any size family can fit in two shopping bags. Alternatively, people always buy two bags of groceries every time they go shopping.

One of which always contains a stalk of celery sticking out above the top of the bag.

Or French bread.

 

[Hermiod]

. . . a week's grocery shopping for any size family can fit in two shopping bags. Alternatively, people always buy two bags of groceries every time they go shopping.

One of which always contains a stalk of celery sticking out above the top of the bag.

Or French bread.

Although that's totally subverted by Michael Clayton.

 

[Star Wolf]

Even though you work with the FBI/police force and not for them and are unarmed you will be allowed to bust into rooms to help arrest armed criminals.

And the doctor or writer is second through the door behind his detective/agent friend then follows a SWAT team in full armor and machineguns

 

[Wynterhawk]

Police chases on foot can go on for miles and miles and miles without either the criminal or the cop getting winded. Oh, and there will always be a crowd of outraged people to plow through as well as garbage cans full of wilted lettuce and news paper to pick up and hurl into the cop's path. And the cop will have enough time and energy to neatly leap over the rolling bin.

 

[sojourner]

In films (and alot of TV shows) the headrests in most cars are no where to be found.

 

[spinnerlys]

Women never seem to have tissues with them when they cry.
Men don't need tissues when they cry.

 

[scotpens]

When a car makes tight, fast turns, the tires always squeal -- even if the car is on dirt, mud or sand.

Here's an oldie: Bakeries are staffed entirely by beautiful girls in skimpy dresses, and the workers and supervisors give each other military salutes!

Palmy Days (1931)