I don’t have a major problem with romance in Who, but I don’t think every single Doctor/Companion relationship should follow the same pattern. Is it so hard for it to just be the mentor/student relationship every once in a while?
I don't buy it. I mean, I buy it if I'm watching some paternalistic old piece of film or TV, where the Old White Guy always knows best and the Young Lady must always learn from his wisdom, a sort of science fictional
Leave It to Beaver/Father Knows Best thing. But nuWho is -- to greater or lesser degrees, depending on how sexist Steven Moffat is feeling that day -- built on the premise that the Doctor's modern companions are independent people, that they are on a fundamental level the Doctor's equals. So the idea that a smart, independent young woman will run away with an old man so he can be her mentor and she his student? I don't buy it right off the bat. There has to be something else done to establish trust in their relationship before I believe that she'd subordinate herself that way. The relationship needs to be pre-existing, he needs to have done something to prove himself not to be paternalistic before I'll buy it.
So if it happens now between Clara and the Doctor, I'll buy it, because their relationship is pre-existing, because they've already established a level of trust and respect between them. Because he's already proven himself to her, and already proven that he respects her, I can buy the idea that Clara would agree to a mentor/student relationship as she travels with him to see the Universe. But I wouldn't buy it if it had happened in "The Bells of St. John's."
And this is before you even get around to the fact of a 2000 year old man in a relationship with a 20 something girl is a little odd to say the least. If he’s going to have a relationship I’d rather it was with a River or a Romana than a Rose.
I mean, obviously Series One romanticizes the relationship between the Doctor and Rose. And obviously, Rose is depicted as being in many respects more mature than most 19-year-olds -- she's a young woman who is clearly the breadwinner, who is clearly responsible for providing for herself and her mother, whose background establishes that she has already become prematurely experienced in life when she ran away with a man at 16 and then was abandoned by him. (I occasionally find myself wondering if the Unspoken Implication was that Rose had an abortion.) So Rose isn't supposed to be a typical irresponsible 19-year-old -- there's a level of maturity that comes with being responsible for your family like Rose.
ETA: And I do think there's a difference between a 19-year-old and someone in her late 20s, such as Clara. Rose may have been more mature than most young women her age, but there's a level of experience that comes with age that Rose still can't match in some ways. Particularly as Clara only lost her mother as an adult, whereas Rose had never lost anyone in her family since infancy. End Edit.
^ Agreed on all points. Surely a variety of types of relationships is a good thing and adds to the show. And, the power/intelligence differential between a 2000 year old man and a 20 something year old women is so great that it does make it a bit creepy. It's nearly a 100X age difference!
I mean, by that logic, it's creepy if the Doctor ever has
any relationship, because is the age difference between a 2,000-year-old and a 30-year-old all that much smaller? The issue isn't the age gap, which will always be literally inhuman; the issue is the relative maturity of the younger partner.
I'm honestly far less creeped out by Doctor/Rose than I am by Doctor/River. Rose was a grown woman running her own life and providing for herself and her mother when she met the Doctor. And her entire emotional life didn't revolve around him from beginning to end -- she insisted he keep bringing her back for her mother, she had an unresolved relationship with Mickey (who was probably cheating on her in that first episode), etc.
River, on the other hand, has had her entire life revolve around the Doctor psychologically -- she was raised to want to kill him, spent about a decade and a half obsessing over him while in the form of Mels, experienced the guilt of having almost killed him, and then chose her profession of archaeologist
for the sole purpose of trying to contact him. Now,
that is a creepy relationship!