Thee Joyes of Drinking

[Garak]

^ I'm in Paris for business in October, is Harry's a good place to go?

Well the worst drinking injury is probably doing my shoulder in on a golf course. I was absolutely sauced by the time we got on the course at around 2pm. I was riding shotgun in a golf cart, hanging out of it like a moron, holding a beer in one hand and fingering the guy in the golf cart behind us with another. The guy who's drunkenly driving mine decides it would be awesome if he turned the cart sharply to the left, which he did. Since I wasn't holding on to anything I went flying out of the cart and hit the ground hard and rolled like a rag doll, and totally fucked up my shoulder. The guy behind me couldn't stop in time and ran over my leg with his golf cart. Luckily I escaped serious injury there.

This was on hole #4. I finshed the round. Couldn't even raise my arm above my head the next day though and it really hasn't been the same since.

 

[Servo]

...and fingering the guy in the golf cart behind us with another.

Hang on. It's Garak. Why am I surprised?

 

[Garak]

I see what you did there.

 

[Shaytan]

^ I'm in Paris for business in October, is Harry's a good place to go?

Yeps, nice pub in a very nice quarter of the city (near Opéra) with a large selection of (expensive) whisky.
http://www.harrys-bar.fr/

My favorite place is the Black Dog but you have to really like metal music. They serve the best steak of Paris IMO.

 

[Garak]

^ I'm in Paris for business in October, is Harry's a good place to go?

Yeps, nice pub in a very nice quarter of the city (near Opéra) with a large selection of (expensive) whisky.
http://www.harrys-bar.fr/

My favorite place is the Black Dog but you have to really like metal music. They serve the best steak of Paris IMO.

Super, thanks for the recomendations! I'm staying at the Sofitel Paris Arc de Triomphe, and can't wait to go back to your beautiful city. Anything else you can think of please let me know!

Metal and steaks. Mmmmm.

 

[Pingfah]

Make sure you get a small Eiffel Tower on a keyring, I hear they are very rare and valuable.

 

[Garak]

Already have one.

A friend of mine who lives in London just proposed to his girl atop the Eiffel Tower. I nearly vomited when he told me.

 

[O'Dib]

lol

 

[Shaytan]

Anything else you can think of please let me know!

I can't think of any right now (I'm a Black Dog addict) but if I do I won't forget.
If you need any informations, let me know

Make sure you get a small Eiffel Tower on a keyring, I hear they are very rare and valuable.

Or something in good taste like that :

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I drink to make other people more interesting.

ditto, and Ernestly

I woke up this morning to a symphony of pain, I located the source of it in my knee regions, peeling back my jeans - (which I was still wearing - but bearing in mind I was sleeping on the stairs, was not the the most major of my troubles) - I observed the large bloody mess of destroyed skin and lumps of things that shouldn't be sticking out there,that existed thereof.

It was at that point a memory clicked into life, as if my brain were being operated by a senile projectionist; I remembered heading to my local sleazy nightspot, where the very walls reek of sweat and desperation, where staggering into the toilets it is not uncommon to have your shirt lifted above your head as a large grinning loon douses you in enough deoderant to gas a badger whilst demanding 2 quid for the privilige. The list of shots at the bar can be described as optomistic at best and you just count yourself lucky the emo student behind the bar with existential problems hasn't put line-cleaner in it by mistake. The carpet is mushy with, what at best is the spilled drinks of giggling office workers with those stupid pink cowboy hats and at worst is the bodily fluids from when young Biancaaa from HR has one too many Jagerbombs thrust upon her and deciedes to evacuate most of her stomach contents upon the floor.

I give you that description so you are in no doubts, whatsoever, that I drink in an utter dump, and that the denizens of this place are all the same damaged and drunken indivduals. That no matter what, the lass I then proceeded to injure myself for is in no way going to be hot, clever, a soulmate - she is most definately not Kiera Knightly.

As I proceeded to hurl Jagerbombs down my neck, I became aware of a charver in a dress gyrating creakily on the highly raised podium that exists in this bar. In my addled state apparently this apparition was as seductive as Carla Bruni lying covered in honey giving a "come hither" look.

I exorted my friends to carry me to the podium and then lift me up on to it - it gives you a degree on the height of this thing off the floor - and then; oh I danced. I danced, I flirted, I dare say the spirits of Cary Grant and Fred Astaire were with me last night, it was truly a magical moment, then as she looked on in utter adoration I cooly dismounted the podium by leaping the rails and sauntering into the night for her to follow..... well no, thats what should have happened but what actually happened was too much drunken grinding, a large amount of shouted "what did you say" thanks to the music noise.... and then the dismount, there's many things you could say about the dismount of the podium "graceful" would not ever be one of them. I did leap the rails, I did soar like a salmon for all of three seconds, until I hit the floor. Hard. With my knees. and my face.

I share this, because there must be those of you out there who do this most nights of the week as well, what's your worst/ best drinking story, most amusing injury whilst drunk, strangest place you've woken up, strangest person you've woken up with?

Answers please, meanwhile I remember buying a 12" Kebab Pizza with extra garlic sauce, so I'm off to stick my head in that for a while.

I don't have any past experience that even begins to compare with ^ this. However, you have a genuine gift for narrative and should consider a career in writing.

Seconded!


I fell off a pub bar whilst dancing once ~ it was a low bar so I was Cossack dancing. I turned up to my first day at new job with the biggest, purplest bruise down my leg!
First impressions and all

 

[nevermore]

I've never hurt myself whilst drinking, personally; my friends have generally had that aspect of the experience covered pretty well. For instance, one night during a driving rainstorm, one of my friends decided that his Ford Explorer looked like a super-fun water slide. I suppose it was, until got to the end of the ride aka the pavement and broke his shoulder. Fun night.

 

[John Picard]

I drink to make other people more interesting.

ditto, and Ernestly

Shall we get together later and make each other more interesting?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I drink to make other people more interesting.

ditto, and Ernestly

Shall we get together later and make each other more interesting?

So you're implying I'm not interesting already

 

[John Picard]

ditto, and Ernestly

Shall we get together later and make each other more interesting?

So you're implying I'm not interesting already

The operative word in my statement is "more"

 

[Kestra]

The "craziest" things I've done while drinking mostly involve my bachelorette party, and kissing. I'm not really a crazy or dangerous drunk, I'm more of a happy drunk. I don't have any regrets from drinking, really.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Shall we get together later and make each other more interesting?

So you're implying I'm not interesting already

The operative word in my statement is "more"

Ok, I apologise ~ you are forgiven

 

[DeafPoet]

I've got a bunch of good stories, but my girlfriend doesn't know the worst (read: most awesome) of them. And since she's a member I'm gonna keep mum on this one.

 

[Mallory]

Here's a tip from someone who's had some practice over the past few decades. The next time you find yourself running from the police through the woods in the pitch black night with a full bottle of beer and you run off a cliff into a ravine full of boulders, saving the beer bottle should not, repeat not, be your first thought and highest priority.

It took me an ER visit, a cardiologist, a neurologist, a plastic surgeon, and 47 stitches that night followed by a three day hospital stay. surgery and some permanent loss of feeling in parts of my right arm and hand to learn that important lesson. All without any health insurance either.

OTOH, the police never did catch me.

 

[DeafPoet]

OTOH, the police never did catch me.

Yeah, but if you could talk to the version of you from 3 seconds before all that happened he'd chalk it up as a win, wouldn't he?

 

[Capn Flukie]

Can't believe I'm telling this story...

Me and 2 friends of mine were drinking quarts of beers sitting on the curb between some cars at a Dunkin' Donuts and (not surprising in retrospect) we heard a car radio which clearly was from a cop car pull up in to the parking lot. The 2 cops saw us and we ran like a bat of hell, them chasing us through back yards and over fences, ripped my brand new bell-bottom jeans (it was the '70s) on a fence. We went in different directions. I lost the cop chasing me and went around a couple blocks, took off my glasses and my long sleeve shirt and wrapped it around my waist, went back to the parking lot, retrieved the beers and met my friends about 20 minutes later near the underpass, finished our beers and went home. We had homework that night. Good Times!