The Whale Probe Incident: What Would the Other Captains Have Done?
- Thread starter Admiral_Sisko
- Start date
Huh?
Picard would instruct the probe to "shut off that damn noise!" And it would listen, because he's The Picard.
Sisko would find a way to send a response signal, all the while desperately trying to convince the probe that it's not a FAAAKE! If that fails, he'll ask Garak for a Plan B.
Janeway would first f**k things up by claiming non-interference, then backtrack after remembering it's her own people that got screwed over by her poor decision, go forward in time to procure technology from 200+ years in the future, bring it back in time to before the probe started messing with Earth's atmosphere and then blast that probe to Hell. Shortly thereafter, Janeway would be promoted to Queen of the Universe.
Sisko would find a way to send a response signal, all the while desperately trying to convince the probe that it's not a FAAAKE! If that fails, he'll ask Garak for a Plan B.
Janeway would first f**k things up by claiming non-interference, then backtrack after remembering it's her own people that got screwed over by her poor decision, go forward in time to procure technology from 200+ years in the future, bring it back in time to before the probe started messing with Earth's atmosphere and then blast that probe to Hell. Shortly thereafter, Janeway would be promoted to Queen of the Universe.
I've heard worse plans.
NuKirk would have also declared that either it goes down or they do. No one would question this.
Why would they? He's so confident and dreamy.
QFT
Had Kor confronted it, he would have used the mind sifter and turned it into a veg-e-table.
Janeway would have formed an alliance with the Borg and invited a cube of theirs to sector 001 to help.
Archer would have led a journey to the probe builders and figured out a way to disable their disruptive network by blowing up one big ball after staring at its internal scans long enough.
Picard would have followed the probe back in time to stop the whales from taking over the entire Earth. He would destroy it with a single quantum torpedo, and then go on a mission to restore the whaling facilities that the probe destroyed.
Sisko would secretly beam to Kirk's ship to chase the surgically altered whale posing as Lt. Savik and stop her from sabotaging his mission, accidentally following him with the Defiant to the 20th century and becoming a central historical figure of the time, while Dax is busy flirting with the CEO of a major whaling corporation and chief O'Brien is startling hippies high on LDS.
Archer would have led a journey to the probe builders and figured out a way to disable their disruptive network by blowing up one big ball after staring at its internal scans long enough.
Picard would have followed the probe back in time to stop the whales from taking over the entire Earth. He would destroy it with a single quantum torpedo, and then go on a mission to restore the whaling facilities that the probe destroyed.
Sisko would secretly beam to Kirk's ship to chase the surgically altered whale posing as Lt. Savik and stop her from sabotaging his mission, accidentally following him with the Defiant to the 20th century and becoming a central historical figure of the time, while Dax is busy flirting with the CEO of a major whaling corporation and chief O'Brien is startling hippies high on LDS.
Cmdr_Blop
Lieutenant Commander
Captain Janeway would get Naomi Wildman, Neelix, Treevis, Flotter, Leonardo Da Vinci, and 7 of 9 together to come up with a plan involving the Delta Flyer and Chakotay's medicine wheel to render the probe inert. She'd also make sure nothing happened to her lucky mug.
Sisko would tell the probe that it's not linear. Because he can live with it... he CAN live with it.
Picard would fly the Enterprise into the nexus, meet up with Captain Kirk, and inform him that they have to find a pair of humpback whales... they have to stop an alien probe before it destroys the Earth. Kirk would reply that he takes it the odds are against us, and the situation is grim, and that it sounds like fun.
Non-Trek: Captain Sheridan would begin a monologue, which would put the probe to an eternal sleep.
Non-Trek: Admiral Adama would simply shoot the probe an intense glare, which would result in the probe's instant and total self-destruction.
Non-Trek: Commander Sinclair would take a Starfury to the probe, and upon seeing the destruction being wrought upon the Earth would say "Not like this, not like this... if I'm going I'm taking you bastards with me!", and set his Starfury for a full-velocity ram, at which point the probe would tractor him, as the whales realize he is the One.
Sisko would tell the probe that it's not linear. Because he can live with it... he CAN live with it.
Picard would fly the Enterprise into the nexus, meet up with Captain Kirk, and inform him that they have to find a pair of humpback whales... they have to stop an alien probe before it destroys the Earth. Kirk would reply that he takes it the odds are against us, and the situation is grim, and that it sounds like fun.
Non-Trek: Captain Sheridan would begin a monologue, which would put the probe to an eternal sleep.
Non-Trek: Admiral Adama would simply shoot the probe an intense glare, which would result in the probe's instant and total self-destruction.
Non-Trek: Commander Sinclair would take a Starfury to the probe, and upon seeing the destruction being wrought upon the Earth would say "Not like this, not like this... if I'm going I'm taking you bastards with me!", and set his Starfury for a full-velocity ram, at which point the probe would tractor him, as the whales realize he is the One.
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