The Voyager Forum Weekly Caption Competition (Redux) Trois!

[Koinek]

Alright...alright.....we're getting into the stride of things!

Last week's Winner:

PARIS: That's an amazing make over!

TORRES: Yeah, If not for the vacant stare and stiff boardlike posture, you never know it was Chakotay!

Nearly Dead you win the Woimy Sqoimy Prize for Voyager Excellence this week:

Also, we must give out an honorable mention to:

Tom: Captain did you lose weight?
Doctor: New hairstyle?
B'Elanna: New boyfriend?
Tom: Well don't leave us in suspense, Captain. Something's got you looking like the cat that ate the canary.
Janeway: I shaved it.
All: Ooooooooh.

This week's image:

Ready, Set, GO!

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the mention, Killer Koinek! Love your contests!

Ok Captain, so that's a third decaf, triple shot sugar free vanilla with soy, light whip cream, extra hot white chocolate mocha?
Yes.
Ok Captain, I'll be right back.
Oh, Tom?
Yes?
If it's not black you're fired.

 

[CaptainJon]

Tom: Nice to mole you...meet you. Nice to meet you. (to Harry) I said mole.
Harry: Now stop.
Tom: Mole......mole.......mole!......Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!
Harry: Shut up!
Tom: Mole. Bloody mole. We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face! I want to cut it off, chop it off and make gaucamole!

 

[ria 75]

Ok Captain, so that's a third decaf, triple shot sugar free vanilla with soy, light whip cream, extra hot white chocolate mocha?
Yes.
Ok Captain, I'll be right back.
Oh, Tom?
Yes?
If it's not black you're fired.

What do you mean, "decaf"?

 

[Nerys Myk]

TOM: First, I'm tired of hearing about his sucky love life! Second, what the hell does he do? Ops?? Is that a real job or did you make it up to make him feel important? Third, he follows me around like a sick puppy..... he's right behind me isn't he?

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Paris: "He's reliable, he's friendly, he's... he's punctual. He doesn't get STIs... mostly cause he can't get laid. Um... he's almost up to grade 1 clarinet... He might actually develop a personality..."

Kim: "I knew I should have gone with Tuvok as a character reference for my promotion review."

 

[Rat Boy]

Paris and Kim were a little unnerved that Chakotay insisted on wearing a wig after he took over as captain.

 

[Atavachron]

Paris: "...and this little piggy had roast beef."

Atavachron

 

[Nebusj]

``Captain, you can't keep hiding. The crew is talking. They know you've turned into a gigantic tribble.''

 

[An Officer]

This week's image:

Tom: Captain, let me get this straight... You want an orgy with five of your bridge crew, for your birthday?

 

[Triskelion]

Tom: Insusbordination, verbal and physical abuse, stealing, badmouthing my piloting skills and attacking my personality and questioning my human parentage -
Janeway: Look, I'm sorry Tom, but you married her. Harry, all I can say is stop mooching all those free dinners from them and she might lighten up on you.
Tom: And she made fun of your hair, Captain.
Janeway: That does it, thirty days in the hole. Janeway to Tuvok -
Harry: Oh boy, Galactica marathon tonight!

 

[jgdst]

Tom: ...Well for one thing, you've had that onion stuck to your head for over a week now, it's starting to get kinda gamey. Second, your Janeway impersonation makes me uncomfortable...

Kim: Have you always been that hot, Doc?

 

[Triskelion]

^

 

[Jeri]

Ok, that's coffee, pot roast, tomato soup, popcorn, pancake mix, veggie burgers, leola root, nutritional supplement #27, plomek soup, mashed potatoes with dirt, and a bottle of turtle wax for the Delta Flyer from the Safeway.

 

[Lucy of Nine]

TOM: First, I'm tired of hearing about his sucky love life! Second, what the hell does he do? Ops?? Is that a real job or did you make it up to make him feel important? Third, he follows me around like a sick puppy..... he's right behind me isn't he?

 

[ria 75]

What a good batch already! Hard to pick favourites. I just wanted to say I enjoy.

 

[Mistral]

I didn't kiss that blue girl back on the last planet, it wasn't me that put the ding in the Delta Flyer and I had nothing to do with your coffee supply going missing. That stuff about the crotch being cut out of all of Seven's jumpsuits-ok, you got me there.

 

[Koinek]

Now for a little bonus funniness:

We used to do three winners in the past and here are the ones that won this one last time:

Paris: "Captain it's like this, 1) Chakotay has crashed another shuttle, 2) Neelix has run out of coffee and 3) I sort of accidentally posted those pictures Tuvok took of you and I having newt sex on the ship's BBS"

Kim: "It breaks my heart when you sigh like that Captain,"

Tom (upon finally looking up): And so that's why....wait a second....Chakotay?!! What ARE you doing in that wig?!!
Harry: We all know you adore the Captain's hair but that is going way too far.

Bat Boy you got hella close to this one.

[Captain Janeway] Tom, give me five good reason why we should keep Ensign Harry Kim and not trade him for a flux capacitor.

[Tom Paris] Well ---- umm ---- one ---- Umm? [Mind goes blank]

[Captain Janeway] Exactly my point! Janeway to Chakotay, tell the alien race we are ready to trade.

I love what all of you have so far. Keep 'em coming!

 

[jgdst]

Tom: blah blah blah blah
Janeway: blah blah BLAH BLAH blah
Tom: blah blah...
[fades to background, replaced by weird violin string-bending noise]
Beachball Onion Thing: That's right Harry, only you can see and hear me. You know what to do if you want a promotion... Phaser your farts... Do it Harry, DO IT HARRY, KILL EM! KILL EM ALL!!!! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAA HAAAAAkkkk hak hakkkh!
Harry: ...baaaalls are fuuuunnyyyy

 

[Lucy of Nine]

"Beachball Onion Thing"... HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA