The Ten Commandments of Star Trek?

[Lord Garth]

After all the debates about Canon, what we need are The Ten Commandments. I have no idea what those commandments are, but that I felt like starting this thread anyway.

This is either a really great idea for a thread or a real horrible idea. I don't know. Either way, do The Great Bird of the Galaxy proud.

 

[Greg Cox]

First commandment: Never trust a god-like being who gives you commandments.

They're probably either Q, an insane computer, or an evil alien at the center of the galaxy.

 

[Kilana2]

Second commandment: don't take the deaths of certain characters for granted..... They will likely rise from the death somehow.

 

[GNDN18]

First commandment: Never trust a god-like being who gives you commandments.

They're probably either Q, an insane computer, or an evil alien at the center of the galaxy.

Not to mention your erstwhile bestie. “Morals are for men, check out the blonde on deck 5.”

 

[Greg Cox]

2nd Commandment: God doesn't need a starship

 

[JonnyQuest037]

1) TOS is The Original Series that brought you out of Irwin Allen shows. You shall have no other Treks before it.
2) Thou shalt honor the Prime Directive and keep it holy, unless it's inconvenient for the episode, in which case, fuck it.
3) Thou shalt kill off redshirts wherever possible.
4) The Theiss Titillation Principle: Thou shalt expose exciting new areas of the female anatomy whenever possible.
5) God is either insane, a child, or an insane child.
6) Always try to logic computers to death, unless they're the third in command of the ship. Then they're cool.
7) Your enemy from the last series will be your trusted ally in the next series.
8) Thou shalt always have at least one crewmember who helps you explore humanity.
9) Thou shalt technobabble to solve problems whenever possible.
10) Every other movie is going to stink.

 

[The Old Mixer]

First commandment: Never trust a god-like being who gives you commandments.

They're probably either Q, an insane computer, or an evil alien at the center of the galaxy.

Second commandment: don't take the deaths of certain characters for granted..... They will likely rise from the death somehow.

These both need to start with "Thou shalt not...".

1) TOS is The Original Series that brought you out of Irwin Allen shows. You shall have no other Treks before it.
2) Thou shalt honor the Prime Directive and keep it holy, unless it's inconvenient for the episode, in which case, fuck it.
3) Thou shalt kill off redshirts wherever possible.
4) The Theiss Titillation Principle: Thou shalt expose exciting new areas of the female anatomy whenever possible.
5) God is either insane, a child, or an insane child.
6) Always try to logic computers to death, unless they're the third in command of the ship. Then they're cool.
7) Your enemy from the last series will be your trusted ally in the next series.
8) Thou shalt always have at least one crewmember who helps you explore humanity.
9) Thou shalt technobabble to solve problems whenever possible.
10) Every other movie is going to stink.

See? He's got the idea.

 

[Greg Cox]

These both need to start with "Thou shalt not...".
.

Ah, but I was translating Scripture into the vernacular in order to get down with today's hip young people.

But if you insist:

Commandment 3: Thou shalt not be a Herbert.

 

[The Old Mixer]

"Thou shalt have no other mods before me."

Yeah, that's got a nice ring to it.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

"Thou shalt break all general orders as the plot demands."
"Thy starships shall warp at the speed of plot."

 

[The Wormhole]

Thou shalt not accept as canon any source other than That Which is Onscreen.

 

[Tosk]

If never keep profit, a good smile honesty.

 

[Lord Garth]

1. Thou wilt first and foremost heed the prime directive at all costs.
2. Thy admiral speaks the Flibbertigibbet's hests.
3. Thou shalt work to better thyself and the rest of humanity.
4. Sooth is the sooth for all.
5. The Federation's doctrine is the doctrine of the Most Wondrous Bird of the Galaxy.
6. Deities art superior forms of life but not supreme.
7. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
8. Thy ship shall at each moment be the only one in range.
9. Tis easy to be a saint in Elysium.
10. Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the endeth.

Going by the First Commandment, all Starship Captains are sinners.

Before anyone asks: to make sure these Commandments sounded like Early-Modern English, I typed everything up and had each of them translated into Shakespearean English, one at a time, using this website: English to Shakespearean.

 

[Vger23]

Thou shalt make it so

 

[CorporalCaptain]

"Starfleet is not a military, except when it is."
"There is no money, except when there is."

 

[Vger23]

Thou shalt not eject the core, due to thine ejector systems being henceforth offline.

 

[Greg Cox]

Life is often not as we know it.

 

[Vger23]

Drink not with thine enemy

Oh wait...never mind.

 

[Kilana2]

Thou shalt suck up to your boss whenever it is possible.

 

[The Wormhole]

Before anyone asks: to make sure these Commandments sounded like Early-Modern English, I typed everything up and had each of them translated into Shakespearean English, one at a time, using this website: English to Shakespearean.

That is so awesome!

"Starfleet is not a military, except when it is."
"There is no money, except when there is."

Thou shalt not identify Starfleet as a military, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Thou shalt not insist the Federation uses money, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Thou shalt not claim religion exists within the Federation, specifically humans, despite all evidence to the contrary.