The stigma of being a virgin loner (must end)

[Kestra]

Kestra, if you were one of my friends, I would smack you.

I'm not your friend?!

 

[BillJ]

Point #2:

I am so sick and goddamn tired of people trotting out "You do realize this is a STAR TREK board, right?" or some variation thereof, to justify some crappy joke that didn't make sense or wasn't funny, or to backpedal over a point to which there is no real, logical defense, or to explain away creepy, nerd behavior as if it should be suddenly made acceptable.

Wow. Someone has a serious stick in their ass. This isn't life or death... it's a goddamn message board. You've expended way more time and energy on that quote then necessary.

You know - one of the problems I have on the board is getting carried away sometimes, which I probably let happen here. I hope you'll accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.

You know, you could've simply ignored the post if it bothered you that much? Got a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder going there Sheldon?

 

[Kestra]

Wow. Someone has a serious stick in their ass. This isn't life or death... it's a goddamn message board. You've expended way more time and energy on that quote then necessary.

You know - one of the problems I have on the board is getting carried away sometimes, which I probably let happen here. I hope you'll accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.

You know, you could've simply ignored the post if it bothered you that much? Got a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder going there Sheldon?

Dude, he just apologized!

 

[RoJoHen]

Kestra, if you were one of my friends, I would smack you.

I'm not your friend?!

Oh, stop it.

 

[BillJ]

Point #2:

I am so sick and goddamn tired of people trotting out "You do realize this is a STAR TREK board, right?" or some variation thereof, to justify some crappy joke that didn't make sense or wasn't funny, or to backpedal over a point to which there is no real, logical defense, or to explain away creepy, nerd behavior as if it should be suddenly made acceptable.

Wow. Someone has a serious stick in their ass. This isn't life or death... it's a goddamn message board. You've expended way more time and energy on that quote then necessary.

You know - one of the problems I have on the board is getting carried away sometimes, which I probably let happen here. I hope you'll accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.

Sorry about the Sheldon crack and the whiny crack in the other thread. These boards get the best of me too sometimes.

 

[BillJ]

You know - one of the problems I have on the board is getting carried away sometimes, which I probably let happen here. I hope you'll accept my apologies for the misunderstanding.

You know, you could've simply ignored the post if it bothered you that much? Got a bit of obsessive-compulsive disorder going there Sheldon?

Dude, he just apologized!

I was already in the midst of typing (I'm a slow typing) when he submitted his. I apologized!

 

[doubleohfive]

No harm, no foul.

Thanks Kestra. And thanks, BillJ.

Now, let's go back to talking about sex!

 

[Kestra]

Good. All is right in the world.

Kestra, if you were one of my friends, I would smack you.

I'm not your friend?!

Oh, stop it.

You loooooove me.

 

[trekkiedane]

Kestra and RoJo
Sitting in a tree,
...

 

[doubleohfive]

Kestra and RoJo
Sitting in a tree,
...

S-P-A-double-M-I-N-G....

 

[RoJoHen]

Oh good lord.

 

[Amaris]

Oh, brother. Yes, J., I posted all that just to piss you off, because I enjoy that so much. (That is not true, by the way.)

Your own posts have portrayed your parents as abusive and neglectful--if that isn't accurate, blame yourself for posting it, not me.

Firstly, I haven't posted them as abusive and neglectful.
Secondly, the last time you may have read anything about my parents was quite a long time ago, as I generally do not post about them anymore.
Thirdly, I asked that you not bring them up because it's not relevant to this conversation.
Lastly, it's not my fault if you don't have all the information you need before you come to conclusions that are inaccurate.

Given that you still live with your parents and they still exert tremendous influence over your life, it's exceedingly relevant to the discussion. There are these things called "patterns," and the particular pattern you display isn't all that subtle. You may not like the way I connect the dots but it wasn't done out of malice. You don't have to discuss your family situation if you don't want to. It's not like I expected you to actually engage on that subject. But you also failed to address anything else I said. It concerns me that you seem not to have any self-awareness about your situation--or maybe you do, and you're just trying to hide it. I don't know. But your idealization of what relationships are like comes from somewhere, and it's too excessive to simply be the result of having not been in one yet.

And you have no idea what's actually going on, and since I have no desire to lay it all out here, it is not something I can address here, either. If you know I can't discuss it, or won't discuss my parents in public, then you should know not to bring it up in public, as it leaves the perception of my family very one sided, in your favor.

So I will say this and nothing more on the subject; the reasons I am still with my parents involved the health and life of one of them directly. Stubborn and flawed would describe my parents. Neglectful and abusive? Certainly not. That is as far as I am willing to discuss on that matter. It is best dropped at this point. Now, if you were genuinely interested in my well being, I appreciate that, but this is not the way to go about doing it.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Fine, J. You don't want to talk about your family situation. Understood. But I guess you're not going to talk about anything else I said, either?

I get the feeling you latched onto that one point so you'd have an excuse not to address the bulk of what I said. Is that accurate?

 

[iguana_tonante]

I think that more harm is done when people give it up too freely. Nowadays people just give in and have sex after a number of only days or weeks. In my opinion, it really cheapens the whole experience. Everyone is in such a rush. I've found that, at least in my life, rushing into relationships and rushing past all the steps of intimacy will lead to it ending badly, pretty quickly.

Or if it is other sorts of relationships you're talking about, well.... if someone's going to think negatively of you because of a decision you've made in your personal life, they don't sound too fun to be around anyway.

The irony here is delicious. Or maybe you are simply admitting that, since you obviously think negatively of someone because of a decision they have made in their personal life (i.e. to have sex before marriage), you are not too fun to be around. Thought so myself, but it's nice to see you reached the same conclusion through your reasoning.

There's something very admirable about someone who has that kind of moral standard and self-control.

Translation: if you have sex before marriage, you have no moral standard and no self-control. How very un-judging of you...

I am respectful if you are an atheist, or are of another religion, and have a different view on sex. I'm not telling you to be abstinent, so why should people tell me that I need to get laid?

You've started a thread to address your disdain for people who judge the decisions you've made regarding your sex life. I think that's fair, the choice you've made is a reasonable one that many undertake quite happily.

This all went off the rails, however, in your OP where you openly expressed how you disagree with the way other people conduct their sex lives.

I suspect if you learn to stop judging how other people live you'll end up caring much less what others think of your choices.

Spot on.

Let me summarize the OP:
"I judge you as immoral and sinful for your sexual life."
"You need to get laid."
"Hey, stop judging me for my (lack of) sexual life!"

 

[Amaris]

Fine, J. You don't want to talk about your family situation. Understood. But I guess you're not going to talk about anything else I said, either?

I get the feeling you latched onto that one point so you'd have an excuse not to address the bulk of what I said. Is that accurate?

No, we can discuss other points. I simply wanted that clear and out of the way.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

Let me summarize the OP:
"I judge you as immoral and sinful for your sexual life."
"You need to get laid."
"Hey, stop judging me for my (lack of) sexual life!"

I'm not telling you to be abstinent. I respect those who have a different sex life than mine (my lack of one).

These sayings are both judgemental:
"You should stop having sex because it's sinful"
"You should have sex or else you're not human enough"

I am celibate for my own reasons, and you can have sex for your own reasons. This is "respectful disagreement".

 

[Birdog]

given your history I'd worry about you winding up with someone who latches onto your generosity, idealism, and tenderness, and manipulates the shit out of you to get what they want, leaving you a used-up, cynical shell of your former self.

Holy crap. You just described something I went through several years ago. You described me dead to rights. Fortunately, I have a wonderful wife now and we're just about to close on our first home.

 

[IndyJones]

Let me summarize the OP:
"I judge you as immoral and sinful for your sexual life."
"You need to get laid."
"Hey, stop judging me for my (lack of) sexual life!"

I'm not telling you to be abstinent. I respect those who have a different sex life than mine (my lack of one).

These sayings are both judgemental:
"You should stop having sex because it's sinful"
"You should have sex or else you're not human enough"

I am celibate for my own reasons, and you can have sex for your own reasons. This is "respectful disagreement".

At what point does the following statement, from the post with which you opened the thread, not show judgement?

I may disagree with people's lifestyles that involve lots of sex, but at least I disagree respectfully.

 

[CaptainPipcard]

When I say I disagree, I mean that we have our own personal preferences when it comes to things such as sex.

 

[horatio83]

Let me summarize the OP:
"I judge you as immoral and sinful for your sexual life."
"You need to get laid."
"Hey, stop judging me for my (lack of) sexual life!"

I'm not telling you to be abstinent. I respect those who have a different sex life than mine (my lack of one).

These sayings are both judgemental:
"You should stop having sex because it's sinful"
"You should have sex or else you're not human enough"

I am celibate for my own reasons, and you can have sex for your own reasons. This is "respectful disagreement".

At what point does the following statement, from the post with which you opened the thread, not show judgement?

I may disagree with people's lifestyles that involve lots of sex, but at least I disagree respectfully.

Indeed. If you slightly change the line you end up with a typical conservative homophobic phrase:
I may disagree with the gay lifestyle but at least I disagree respectfully.

It may sound PCish but it is nonetheless extremely prejudiced. Either you have no problem with some people or things or you do. You can't have your cake and eat it.