The Simpsons

[LitmusDragon]

8. A Fish Called Selma

Troy McClure (as Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes):
I hate every ape I see
From Chimpanz-A to Chimpanzee
No you'll never make a monkey out of me

Oh my god, I was wrong
It was Earth, all along
You've finally made a monkey
(yes we've finally made a monkey)
You've finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeee

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ralph: "I bent my wookie."


Ralph: "My cat's food tastes like cat food."


Duffman: "DUFFMAN!!!"


Bart: "My finger slipped."
ZAP
Lisa: "So did mine..."


Lisa: "I had a cat named Snowball. She died, she died. My mom said she was sleeping. She lied, she lied."


Homer, to a passing shopper
Homer: "Excuse me, sir -- you look liek a guy who has trouble pleasing his wife."
Guy punches Homer in the face

 

[ALF]

Now matter how much the Simpsons may or may not have lost it's "spark",
The Simpsons > Family Guy.

 

[Garm Bel Iblis]

Now matter how much the Simpsons may or may not have lost it's "spark",
The Simpsons > Family Guy.

And unfortunately Family Guy owes its existence to the simpsons. who else would seth have ripped off?

 

[AnyStar]

Now matter how much the Simpsons may or may not have lost it's "spark",
The Simpsons > Family Guy.

And unfortunately Family Guy owes its existence to the simpsons. who else would seth have ripped off?

my all-new all time fav Family Guy moment was last weeks live special, the Marlee Matlin skit! that was awesome

 

[Amaris]

I know someone mentioned The Cartridge Family upthread, and that it wasn't as good, but I do have to say one of the best lines in the series was said by Homer in that one:

Homer: "When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun."

I love that!

J.

 

[D Man]

"I call the big one 'Bitey!'"

"The kids could call you 'Hoju!'"

 

[Amaris]

"I call the big one 'Bitey!'"

"The kids could call you 'Hoju!'"

One of my favorite lines from "Krusty Gets Kancelled":

Snake: "Oh no! Bette Midler!"


J.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"Selma's Choice" is another great episode - one that has something for everyone.


"I AM THE LIZARD QUEEEEEN!"

"All I got is sperm in a cup..."

 

[Orac Zen]

Classic Homer from a classic episode:

Marge: Oh, Maggie, when are you going to talk??
Lisa: Well, don't push her. Remember – 'tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer (thinking): What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
(aloud): Takes one to know one!
(thinking) Swish!​

 

[Amaris]

Classic Homer from a classic episode:

Marge: Oh, Maggie, when are you going to talk??
Lisa: Well, don't push her. Remember – 'tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer (thinking): What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
(aloud): Takes one to know one!
(thinking) Swish!​

I believe that one was "Lisa's First Word." Definitely a classic.

J.

 

[HappyDayRiot]

That episode is jarring to watch now. When it was first shown Elizabeth Taylor did Maggie's voice, but since then on videos and clip shows her one word at the end has been changed to a different voice entirely. It sounds so wrong. Classic episode though, if only for Baby Bart's jealousy.

"Bye bye keys!"

Oh, and Homer and the Olympics/Krusty burger promotions. *does Turkey trot dance*

"I will personally spit in every 4000th burger!"
"I like those odds!"

 

[cultcross]

Speaking of Olympics, Springy!

"You flush one down, it swirls around, one hundred and ninety nine springs to flush down"

 

[AnyStar]

i wish Maggie got more screenplay, they always come up with the best stuff for her.

for example i just love the epsode where she goes to day-care, and in "great escape" style they liberate the pacifiers

 

[Pemmer Harge]

The show may have been on the way down by Season 11, but this bit from Pygmoelian where Moe reads the script for the soap opera he's starring in is great:

"Then I get in a sky-diving accident and have to be rushed to the ... [turns page] graveyard?!"

 

[HappyDayRiot]

^ ..."with sexy results!"

 

[Praetor]

^

That was a pretty good episode.

 

[Garm Bel Iblis]

One of my alltime favorite moments is when Bart gets a fake id and rents a car, when lisa tells homer he just stares off blankly and says calmly. "Yes, that's a real pickle."

"I will wire bart the money to fly home then I will murder him."

 

[ITL]

^ And it has Nelson in a state of rapture during an Andy Williams gig. Great stuff.

 

[Garm Bel Iblis]

^ And it has Nelson in a state of rapture during an Andy Williams gig. Great stuff.

"I didn't think he was gonna do Moon River, then BAM second encore!"