The secret life of Travis Mayweather

[kirkfan]

Too late, joke went flaccid.

That's a strange name for a penis...

 

[bbjeg]

Well, I hear Travis is a eunuch.

 

[jespah]

He swallows goldfish for the betting money. He's all out of goldfish, and Phlox can't figure out why his smaller experimental animals keep disappearing.

 

[Melakon]

Well, I hear Travis is a eunuch.

Uncle. He's an uncle. A eunuch is something different.

 

[kirkfan]

Well, I hear Travis is a eunuch.

Uncle. He's an uncle. A eunuch is something different.

True, you don't cry eunuch.

 

[galleywest]

Well, I hear Travis is a eunuch.

Uncle. He's an uncle. A eunuch is something different.

True, you don't cry eunuch.

Well, you could, but I don't know what the outcome would be.

Travis operates a snack trolley between his shifts. Runs it from the mess hall to engineering and up through the bridge. He make the taffy himself!

 

[kirkfan]

Uncle. He's an uncle. A eunuch is something different.

True, you don't cry eunuch.

Well, you could, but I don't know what the outcome would be.

Travis operates a snack trolley between his shifts. Runs it from the mess hall to engineering and up through the bridge. He make the taffy himself!

I knew he was a taffy guy.

 

[Jedi_Master]

Someone has to clean off the touchscreens...

 

[F. King Daniel]

Travis is the Enterprise's biggest Mariyln Manson fan.

 

[kirkfan]

Travis was once "assimilated" by a computer, the computer died, arguably of boredom, as a result.

 

[eyeresist]

I am loling at some of these recent posts...

Oh Travis, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Travis!
Hey Travis!

[Music video of Travis surrounded by dancing cheerleaders.]

 

[bbjeg]

Too late, joke went flaccid.

That's a strange name for a penis...

Well, I hear Travis is a eunuch.

Uncle. He's an uncle. A eunuch is something different.

Well, I'm an uncle and I don't have a strange name for my penis (what, Colonel Richard isn't strange).

 

[kirkfan]

Penis-naming is Travis' third principal activity.

 

[galleywest]

Travis was once "assimilated" by a computer, the computer died, arguably of boredom, as a result.

Now, when encountering evil or volatile alien technology, Travis' consciousness is simply uploaded into it, killing it from boredom in a matter of minutes. This is known as The Travis Virus. Travis wanted to call it the Travis Trojan, but nobody listened to him.

 

[kirkfan]

Travis was once "assimilated" by a computer, the computer died, arguably of boredom, as a result.

Now, when encountering evil or volatile alien technology, Travis' consciousness is simply uploaded into it, killing it from boredom in a matter of minutes. This is known as The Travis Virus. Travis wanted to call it the Travis Trojan, but nobody listened to him.

In Vanishing Point Hoshi realized that something was really wrong when people started paying her less attention than Travis.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Travis knows what happened to Crewman Cutler

 

[kirkfan]

Travis knows what happened to Crewman Cutler

She's become Mrs Phlox number 4...

 

[eyeresist]

"Don't be so judgemental, Captain. It's traditional in Denobulan marriages for the wife to spend the first three years locked in a broom cupboard."

 

[kirkfan]

"Don't be so judgemental, Captain. It's traditional in Denobulan marriages for the wife to spend the first three years locked in a broom cupboard."

"Actually, I am wondering why we don't adopt that custom on Earth, it would limit the number of divorces."


(Don't forget that Archer does anything Phlox asks of him, even if it involves genocide.)

 

[jespah]

Phlox, "We have a special tray that we slip under the door with their meals, Captain. C'mon, be progressive in your thinking!"

Crewman Cutler (muffled), "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

Travis looks away, with body language showing discomfort.

END SCENE