The Red Lights of Craigslist

ThunderAeroI · Dec 24, 2008

Has anyone stumbled into this area? Its like a marketplace of flesh and I'm curious if any of its even real.

Has anyone had any 'experience' with this area that can vouch for its authenticity? Not that I'd wager i'd care to partake in its services, but its interesting on a personal level.

David cgc · Dec 24, 2008

All I remember is the hilarious one about the guy who wanted to violate a woman in an uncomfortable place while she played the original Super Mario Brothers, with fun stipulations like "No eye contact or speaking."

Mr. B · Dec 24, 2008

The Best of Craigslist is usually good for a laugh too.

tharpdevenport · Dec 24, 2008

Here's that MArio one:

July 2, 2008 (on Craigslist)

"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w"

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.
You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.
I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.
Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.
When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"
If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.
I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.
Click to expand...

The sex for money ads are illegal, that's why some of them don't mention money, or say "hugs" or "kisses" or some such thing. "100 hugs" ... uh huh.

I'd also be wary of undercover police. And in the Casual Encounters section, over here anyway, 97% of the women ads are FAKE, so be wary. You're chances of getting fucked for real are very slim on Craigslist.

ThunderAeroI · Dec 24, 2008

That mariopost is funny as heck. Thats sad if its real.

DRMidnite · Dec 24, 2008

David cgc said: ↑

All I remember is the hilarious one about the guy who wanted to violate a woman in an uncomfortable place while she played the original Super Mario Brothers, with fun stipulations like "No eye contact or speaking."
Click to expand...

Like a Volkswagen?

CookieMonster · Dec 24, 2008

Mr. B said: ↑

The Best of Craigslist is usually good for a laugh too.
Click to expand...

The opossum one is too perfect....

Zulu Romeo · Dec 24, 2008

July 2, 2008 (on Craigslist)

"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w"
[etc.]
Click to expand...

The lights are on, but the princess is in another castle.

CookieMonster · Dec 24, 2008

You gotta read the open letter from the adult store. Its freaking great.

Kronos · Dec 24, 2008

Mr. B said: ↑

The Best of Craigslist is usually good for a laugh too.
Click to expand...

The world is full of weirdos

RJDiogenes · Dec 24, 2008

DO NOT take the secret level skip.
Click to expand...

What the hell kind of a pervert is this?

Locutus of Bored · Dec 24, 2008

Tharpdevenport said: ↑

Here's that MArio one:

July 2, 2008 (on Craigslist)
"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers ? - m4w"

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.
You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to anal sex, also able to fake an orgasm is a plus.
I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your butt in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.
Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, "MORE", "HARDER", "YES", "FUCK ME", but nothing else. I will continue having sex until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also orgasm. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your ass. You are allowed to say something like "OH GOD", "YES", OR "IT HURTS" no other conversation is allowed.
When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between holes as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my load where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like "Thanks", "It was great", "I loved it", "Don't stop"
If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.
I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.
Click to expand...

Click to expand...

The sex for money ads are illegal, that's why some of them don't mention money, or say "hugs" or "kisses" or some such thing. "100 hugs" ... uh huh.

I'd also be wary of undercover police. And in the Casual Encounters section, over here anyway, 97% of the women ads are FAKE, so be wary. You're chances of getting fucked for real are very slim on Craigslist.
Click to expand...

I am intrigued by your expertise in this field.

Finn · Dec 24, 2008

Yep, people are weird.

tharpdevenport · Dec 24, 2008

I am intrigued by your expertise in this field.
Click to expand...

Actually, it's fairly common knowledge some police around the country are using Craigslist for fighting law; finding stolen goods, prostitution busts, online predators, so forth. I have never paid for sex.

MeanJoePhaser · Dec 24, 2008

Recent news story related to this.

University of Michigan investigates professor's involvement in prostitution case with law student

by Amalie Nash, Tom Gantert | The Ann Arbor News Friday December 12, 2008, 8:53 AM

The University of Michigan is investigating one of its associate professors accused of paying a U-M Law School student for sexual acts after meeting her online, officials said.
Yaron Eliav, 44, an associate professor in the Department of Near Eastern Studies, awaits sentencing Dec. 30 after pleading no contest to a misdemeanor charge of using a computer to commit a crime. The 22-year-old student also pleaded no contest to the same charge.
They were originally charged with prostitution/accosting and solicitation, misdemeanors punishable by up to 93 days in jail.
The case came to light in April when the student went to an Ann Arbor police station to report she was assaulted by Eliav after they met at a hotel on the city's north side.
The student told police she was advertising sex acts online via Craigslist to help pay tuition costs. For an in-state student, U-M Law School tuition is $41,500 a year; out-of-state students pay $44,500.
The student told police she reluctantly agreed to allow Eliav to strike her buttocks with a belt, but got upset when he slapped her in the face twice, reports said. She said she suffered vision problems afterward, but did not have any lasting injuries.
The rarity of how the case began - with a law student showing up at the police department's front desk to report she was assaulted while committing a crime herself - was not lost on investigators.
"Perhaps she should have cracked a legal textbook before coming in to the police station to talk about this," Ann Arbor Detective Sgt. Richard Kinsey said.
Both she and Eliav told police they didn't have intercourse, but engaged in other sex acts, and he paid her $300, according to police reports.
When he was interviewed by police, Eliav said he responded to the online ad because he was interested in experimenting sexually. He said he complied when she told him to stop certain activities and admitted to slapping her face, but said it was "like a game," reports said.
Eliav also called the woman a willing participant and said they hugged at the end of the encounter, reports said.
It appears Eliav knew the woman was a law school student, but it not clear from the police reports whether he knew that going into the encounter. He told investigators the money he paid the woman was simply "a token," and called her "a bored college student."
Gary Beckman, chairman of U-M's Near Eastern Studies Department, declined to comment Tuesday and referred questions to U-M spokeswoman Kelly Cunningham.
Cunningham said Eliav is the subject of an internal university investigation, but she couldn't provide additional details.
"We take this matter very seriously," Cunningham said.
Eliav joined the university in 2000 and is still on the faculty, she said. U-M records show Eliav is a tenured professor who received his doctorate from Hebrew University and came to U-M after working as a senior fellow in the Institute for Advanced Studies at Hebrew University.
The law school is also reviewing the matter, said Cunningham, adding that student confidentiality rules prevent her from saying more.
When reached about a month ago, the student would not comment, and she couldn't be reached this week. Her attorney called the charges against her offensive and declined further comment.
Eliav's attorney, Doug Mulkoff, said Thursday that he requested a deferred sentence from prosecutors. If granted, the case would eventually be dismissed as long as Eliav met certain conditions.
The conviction carries a maximum sentence of a year in jail. A no contest plea is not an admission of guilt, but is treated as such for sentencing purposes.
"He denies any wrongdoing but pled no contest to quickly resolve this private matter," Mulkoff said.
Washtenaw County Chief Assistant Prosecutor Joseph Burke said prosecutors have not made any agreements with Eliav or the student. Court records indicate the student also sought a deferred sentence.
Deputy Chief Assistant Prosecutor Steven Hiller said prosecutors didn't charge Eliav with assault because they didn't feel they could prove that crime.
"In order to prove a case of assault and battery, you have to prove (nonconsensual) physical contact beyond a reasonable doubt, and based on the circumstances, we did not feel we could prove that," Hiller said.
Police reports also indicate the student admitted to arranging money-for-sex deals with about eight or nine men in April and May, saying she needed the money for tuition.
The student said she advertised online and got to her appointments using hourly rental cars available on campus through Zipcar, according to police reports.
University policy strongly discourages - but does not prohibit - a professor from engaging in a consensual sexual relationship with a student. If a professor supervises the student, the professor's superior has to draw up a plan to manage the conflict of interest, such as having the student taught by another professor.

Click to expand...

I'm outraged! OUTRAGED...that nobody told me about this girl. So I could get some ass...sistance...financial assistance for her...yeah.

Stone_Cold_Sisko · Dec 24, 2008

i've hooked up a few times with women on craigslist. But if you aren't stunning looking as a guy you really have to work hard and sift through and post multiple ads and such. The "success rate" really isn't worth it for me so i kinda stopped.

Davros · Dec 24, 2008

Kronos said: ↑

Mr. B said: ↑

The Best of Craigslist is usually good for a laugh too.
Click to expand...

The world is full of weirdos
Click to expand...

Thank goodness for that.
If it were not, it would be pretty dull around here.

JonathonWally · Dec 24, 2008

Davros said: ↑

Kronos said: ↑

Mr. B said: ↑

The Best of Craigslist is usually good for a laugh too.
Click to expand...

The world is full of weirdos
Click to expand...

Thank goodness for that.
If it were not, it would be pretty dull around here.
Click to expand...

QFT

1001001 · Dec 24, 2008

July 2, 2008 (on Craigslist)
"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers?"

Click to expand...

I can't tell you how many times my wife has begged me for this.

Begged me.

Holdfast · Dec 24, 2008

1001001 said: ↑

July 2, 2008 (on Craigslist)
"Want it from behind while you play Super Mario Brothers?"

Click to expand...

I can't tell you how many times my wife has begged me for this.

Begged me.
Click to expand...

You insisted on Tetris, didn't you?

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