The Paul Ross thread

[Dr. Horrible]

Hello all,

I don't know if any of you have seen this (I did a search, and couldn't find anything) so I thought I should bring you this little gem. Once you've absorbed the image, look at the comments...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/PAUL-ROSS-C...tStore/dp/B001N6W8U0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

 

[ITL]

"Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week."

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Hello all,

I don't know if any of you have seen this (I did a search, and couldn't find anything) so I thought I should bring you this little gem. Once you've absorbed the image, look at the comments...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/PAUL-ROSS-C...tStore/dp/B001N6W8U0/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Those comments are gold.

Although I was half-expecting an effervescent Paul Ross-style review quote there too, like

Sensational! A must-see! ***** out of ***** - Paul Ross, News of the World

or something...

 

[Ethros]

Ace, I want one!

After the recent fury of Jonathan Ross, they should have just got Paul in to do his chat show

Anyone ever watch Paul Ross's Big Black Book of Horror?
Skip to 2:12 in this video
Amazing

 

[Mallory]

The reviews are excellent!

The main character (Paul Ross) moves during the night, and he sometimes leaves the painting and enters the room in which it is being displayed. I have pictures of the incidents and will happily show anyone who is interested. If you look carefully you can see a small doll like figure in the bush within the painting and she appears to be holding a gun. I believe this is what causes Paul to leave the painting. After several sleepless nights and the hideous death of my cat. I have decided to sell this item on ebay. I can no longer bare the torturous pain in my soul and wish to live a normal happy life again. Please, for the love of all that is holy- free me from the nightmare I am now living.

Since obtaining ths as a gift I have lost almost everyone who is closed to me in a tragic log flume accident; my girlfriend left me for the former gladiator Wolf, and my boss sacked me for fraud- I assure you the money was just resting in my account.

 

[Holdfast]

I loved this review:

As a nurse in a psychiatric hospital I am often at a loss to know how to help the poor lost souls in my tender care. Last week I brought in my Paul Ross print to brighten the place up and it has had an astonishing effect! Since the portrait was hung in the lounge all of the patients have made a swift recovery and have been discharged. My job may be at risk, but at least my patients are not. Remarkable picture - Remarkable man!

I need to get one for my hospital.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

^^ Is Paul Ross the Anti-Chuck Norris?

 

[Dr. Horrible]

My favourite is this:

Well, I had to take a moment out to tell you people about the wonders of Mr Ross.

My life has never been a lucky one, infact it has been the complete opposite. I have had many beautiful homes, which I have bought or rented for well under the asking price. Then they have been burnt down or have become unlivable due to accidents.

I have bought several winning lottery tickets, and given them away in cards to people who I thought were my friends. Then the numbers get called and they move to barbados to live lives of luxury whilst I am left here - friendless.

I have had a many boyfriend whom I thought were 'the ones' but they have turned out to be pimps, drug addicts, cheaters and the worst of them all a childrens entertainer - therefore my heart has crumbled into a million pieces.

And so on and so forth...

Then one day, whilst looking on amazon for a gift for a friend I stubbled across this canvas, I was captivated, the green of the trees, the metalic table the half full glass of water - and most of all - the look in his eyes. He was looking into my Soul.

I had to have it, I couldn't leave the site without it.

Paul has been in my home, above the mantle for 2 weeks and I can already see the difference. I walk with confidence, my head held high! Men notice me - they say its my smile - I know its Paul.

With Pauls help, I will learn to cook with Gas without fear of a fire. With Pauls help, I will turn the radiator on without fear of them blowing up. With Pauls help, I will have a bath without fear that it will leak and flood my beautiful new home. With Pauls help I will find the one, without fear that he will secretly be a Children's Entertainer.

Will Pauls help I can do anything!

Paul is clearly a positive influence on many ladies lives.

 

[Mallory]

You know, the image on that page could be a pretty spiffy avatar for someone.

 

[Dr. Horrible]

You know, the image on that page could be a pretty spiffy avatar for someone.

I'm very sorry Mallory, but for that suggestion, you must be taken out and shot.

Bye bye.

 

[Mallory]

I've already offered it to cooleddie and his 78,843 posts board wide.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I loved this review:

As a nurse in a psychiatric hospital I am often at a loss to know how to help the poor lost souls in my tender care. Last week I brought in my Paul Ross print to brighten the place up and it has had an astonishing effect! Since the portrait was hung in the lounge all of the patients have made a swift recovery and have been discharged. My job may be at risk, but at least my patients are not. Remarkable picture - Remarkable man!

I need to get one for my hospital.

We could use one to get rid of the ghost in my hospital.

 

[stoneroses]

The only thing Paul Ross ever did was produce 'The Word'.

 

[Pingfah]

Wow, this thread is actually about Paul Ross.

I figured there must be a different Paul Ross, one who was known for doing something worthwhile, one who deserved a thread about him.

How wrong I was.

 

[DAK]

Okay, I'm sure I would find this hilarious if I knew who Paul Ross was! Besides the guy in the portrait.

 

[Holdfast]

Wow, this thread is actually about Paul Ross.

I figured there must be a different Paul Ross, one who was known for doing something worthwhile, one who deserved a thread about him.

How wrong I was.

All threads are actually about Paul Ross. His very presence has enriched all of humanity.

 

[Ethros]

I used to love his quiz show on BBC1 daytime TV No Win No Fee, where Ross would only get paid if all the contestants lost. Showed how desperate for work and money he was

 

[Mallory]

It's difficult to overestimate Paul Ross' contribution to the very fabric of our modern society.

 

[Danoz]

Who the hell is Paul Ross?

 

[ITL]

Paul Ross is the Alpha...and the Omega. He is the screaming void, howling like a banshee in your mind as you ponder the insignificance of your fate in an endless universe set adrift in the deep, dark abyss of time and space.

He's a crap bloke off the telly who isn't as rich as his younger brother.