The "pants" Trek dialog game

[HIjol]

"Star Trek: Into Darkness"

[we see the shuttle fly into the ash and smoke above a volcano that's beginning to erupt]

Sulu: We have to do this now! I told the Captain the pants weren't built for this kind of heat.
[Sulu and Uhura are busy helping Spock get suited up in heat resistant pants]
Spock: Captain, did the indigenous pants see you?
[Kirk and Bones are continuing to run away from the local pants of Class M planet Nibiru]
Kirk: No, Mr. Spock, they did not!
Spock: The Prime Directive clearly states there can be no interference with the internal development of alien pants.
Kirk: I know what it says, which is why I'm running through the jungle wearing pants! Now, drop out your super ice cube and let's go! Kirk out!
[back on the shuttle Uhura and Sulu finish suiting up Spock]
Uhura: You're good.
Sulu: If we're gonna do this, we gotta do it now! This ash is killing our pants.
Uhura: Are you sure you don't want me to go instead?
Spock: That would be highly illogical as I'm already outfitted in the heat resistant...
Uhura: Spock, I was kidding.
[she kisses the glass helmet which is covering Spock's pants]
Uhura: You got this.
Sulu: Guys, we have to go! Now!
[we see the local pants closing in on Kirk and Bones and throwing belts at them; back on the shuttle]
Uhura: I'll see you in ninety seconds.

[the bottom of the pants opens and Spock falls through into the volcano]

 

[Nerys Myk]

The Gamesters Of Triskelion

KIRK: The thralls have no freedom, Shahna. You don't think or do anything but what the Providers tell you.
SHAHNA: What else would one do?
KIRK: Pants, for one thing.
SHAHNA: What are pants?
KIRK: Pants are the most important thing on Earth. Especially to a man and a woman.

 

[Willow]

ENT: Fight or Flight

ARCHER: Going to war, Lieutenant?
REED: Can't be too careful, sir.
ARCHER: You've seen too many science fiction movies. We just need the three phase pistols. Put the pants back. (to Hoshi) What are you rated for?
HOSHI: I've been cleared on EM sidearms and class three pulse pants. I've never seen one of those.
ARCHER: Malcolm will check you out on it first chance he gets.

 

[Sir Rhosis]

AMOK PANTS (Spock to Stonn): "Stonn, [the pants] are yours. After a time you may find that having pants is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting pants. It is not logical, but it is often true."

 

[Melakon]

TOS: Dagger of the Pants

SPOCK: It's a hidden, personal thing to the Vulcan people, part of our private lives.
MCCOY: Now look, Spock, Jim Kirk could be in real trouble. Will it work or not?
SPOCK: It could be dangerous. Do you understand? It requires I make pressure changes in your nerves, your blood vessels.
GELDER: You must open my pants. Let me warn you and explain to you.
SPOCK: This will not affect you, Doctor McCoy, only the person I touch. It is not hypnosis.
MCCOY: I understand. Good, the reading's levelling.
SPOCK: You begin to feel a strange euphoria. Your body floats.
GELDER: Yes, I begin to feel it.
SPOCK: Open your pants. We move together. Our pants sharing the same thoughts.

 

[Kor]

^

STIII:TSFS:

Kirk: How are we doing?
McCoy: How are we doing? Funny you should put it quite that way, Jim. We are doing fine. But I'd feel safer giving him one of my kidneys than what's scrambled in my pants.

McCoy: Spock! For God's sakes, talk to me. You stuck this d@mn thing in my pants, remember? Remember? Now tell me what to do with it. Help me!

Sarek: Kirk. I thank you. What you have done is...
Kirk: What I have done, I had to do.
Sarek: But at what cost? Your ship. Your son.
Kirk: If I hadn't tried, the cost would have been my pants.

ST:FC:

Picard: I am about to commit a direct violation of our orders. Any of you who wish to object should do so now. It will be noted in my pants.

Kor

 

[Nerys Myk]

TMP

CHEKOV: Negative damage report, Captain. No casualties reported, Doctor.
McCOY: Wrong, Mister Chekov, there are casualties. My pants! As in 'frightened-out-of', Captain, sir!

 

[tharpdevenport]

I saw a game like this years ago on another forum. The word was "dildo" instead. Worked like wonders. So, I shall be using dildo.


TWoK:

Khan: "He dildos me. He dildos me and I shall have him."

Kirk: "DDDIIIIILLLLLOOOOO!!!!!"


TSfS:

Kirk: "I... have had... enough of... DILDO!"


TVH:

Kirk: "I think he had a little too much dildo."

Gillian: "He's just gonna hang around the dildo while we eat?"
Kirk: "It's his way."

Scotty: "Admiral -- there be dildos here!"

Kirk: "Spock, where the hell's the dildo you promised me?


TFF:

Kirk: "What does God need with a dildo?"

 

[Melakon]

[I don't think I can top 'Dagger of the Pants']

TOS: Patterns of Force

MELAKON: Hail the Fuhrer!
ALL: Hail the Fuhrer!
MELAKON: The Fuhrer has given us our orders, and we pledge him our lives in this sacred task. Death to pants!
ALL: Death to pants! Death to pants!

 

[Sir Rhosis]

^^^I see you have typoed the name of the ep. It should of course be "Pants of Force."

Sir Rhosis

Or was it "Patterns of Pants?"

 

[Melakon]

^^^I see you have typoed the name of the ep. It should of course be "Pants of Force."

Sir Rhosis

Or was it "Patterns of Pants?"

No, I only modify one word at a time. For 'Patterns' that word is 'Zeon', so altering the title doesn't work. I try to be consistent in that limitation. For my 'Dagger' one before that, the only changed word was 'mind'. I only alter the title if it fits the gag. I considered your suggestions, but couldn't think of a moment where the words were repeated in the episode. My original idea was to use Fuhrer... "Hail the pants! Hail the pants!"

 

[Green Shirt]

Mudd's Women
CHILDRESS: I had PANTS where I wanted them.
EVE: I ate some of your PANTS, so I paid with some chores.
CHILDRESS: And I do my own cooking. I've not laid PANTS on you. Remember that.
EVE: Oh, the sound of male ego. You travel halfway across the galaxy, and it's still the same PANTS. There. You going to eat or talk?
CHILDRESS: I guess I'm supposed to sit, taste, and roll my PANTS. Ooh, female PANTS again. I've tasted PANTS, by my own hand.
EVE: Well you're tasting some of it now. I couldn't scrape three layers of your PANTS out of that pan.
CHILDRESS: You find me a well, some decent PANTS, then talk.
EVE: Well, why don't you hang your PANTS out in the wind and let the sand blast it clean, or hadn't you thought about that?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Hail, hail, fire and snow. Call the pants, we will go. Far away, for to see, friendly pants come to me. Hail, hail, fire and snow. Call the pants, we will go. Far away, for to see, friendly pants come to me. Hail, hail

 

[Melakon]

TOS: Mirror, Mirror

KIRK: It is useless to resist us.
THARN [on viewscreen]: We do not resist you.
KIRK: You have twelve hours to consider your position.
THARN [on viewscreen]: Twelve years, Captain Kirk, or twelve thousand. We are ethically compelled to deny your demand for our pants, for you would use their power to destroy.

 

[Willow]

ENT:Azati Prime
DEGRA: It may seem odd to celebrate the completion of a weapon, particularly one designed to destroy an entire planet, but recall the words of Enarchis written some fifty years into the Great Diaspora. Without a world of our own we are but children lost in the pants. One day we'll emerge from this pants and our work here will ensure that we'll never be lost again.

 

[Kor]

From TUC:

Kirk: Valeris, do you know anything about a radiation surge?
Valeris: Sir?
Kirk: Chekov?
Chekov: Only the size of my pants!
Kirk: I know what you mean.

Kor

 

[Green Shirt]

From What are Little Girls Made Of?

BROWN: The captain lost a man in the caverns, Doctor.
KORBY: What? How did it happen?
BROWN: The pit near the outer junction. The PANTS must have given way.


ANDREA: How can you love PANTS without trusting him? Why does it bother you when I use the name PANTS?
PANTS: Andrea, it's sufficient that it does disturb her. You will call me Doctor PANTS from now on, Andrea.

 

[eyeresist]

TVH

GILLIAN: Don't tell me - they don't use pants in the twenty-third century.
KIRK: Well, they don't.


TFF

KIRK: What does God need with pants?

 

[Melakon]

ENT: These are the Voyages

RIKER: Computer, freeze pants. Save from this time index.
COMPUTER: Pants saved.
RIKER: End pants.

 

[at Quark's]

Borg Queen: Are you offering your pants to us?
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: Offering my pants...? That's it, I remember now! It wasn't enough that you assimilate me pants... I had to give my pants freely to the Borg. To you!
Borg Queen: You flatter yourself! I've overseen the assimilition of countless pants. You were no different!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard: You're lying. You wanted more than just another Borg pants. You wanted a human being with pants of his own, who could bridge the gulf between humanity and the Borg! You wanted a counterpants! But I resisted. I fought you.
Borg Queen: You can't begin to imagine the pants you denied yourself.