The Neverendingly Awesome ABRAMSVERSE. It's here to stay, BABY!!!

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Okay, so we all know that J.J. Abrams came along and fixed Star Trek forever.

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap. THINK: "Spock's Brain", that DS9 episode where they all play hopscotch, the TNG episode where Dr. Crusher's zombie mother comes back from the dead and tries to eat the crew, and pretty much every episode of Voyager and Enterprise.

So J.J. Abrams comes along and goes with all the ideas that I have been suggesting all along (and ditches all those lame ideas of the other supposed 'fans' ) and he just hits a home run straight out of the park.

Star Trek 11 just fucking rocked, hands down/

So here's what kills me...

These haters who keep coming in here and say "Chris Pine3 is not Kirk. Only William Shaner is Kirk."

Look, you people need to wise up. So Shatner played Kirk in like 100 episodes and 6 movies and 1000 books (don't argue that Shatner was not playing Kirk in the books, I could see his damn face right on the book covers, and he did NOT look like Chris Pine)... So what? Big whoop! So, what? He like owns the character now? Puh-leeeese. I don't THINK so.

Chris Pine has played Captain Kirk for one whole movie now and he rocked it.

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE HAS PLAYED KIRK: ONE!!

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE ROCKED IT PLAYING KIRK: ONE!!!!

ONE / ONE = 100% ROCKED IT!!!

Have you seen how many shitty episodes Shatner was in and Star Trek Five: The Search for GOD, and some of those comics were really lame too.

3798 / 5647 (episodes, comics, books, movies, happy meals) = 67%

67% is NOT rocking it.

So, nice try Shatner, but your day is DONE!

Make way for 100% KIRK = CHRIS PINE

Besides, let's address some other skeletons in the closet. We all know that William Shatner pushed Jeffrey Hunter (Admiral Christopher Pike) down the stairs and into the pool, where he drowned, just so Kirk could take over the role of Captain of the Enterprise. And then he blamed it on a drug overdose. (We aren't that naive, William Shatner. We have all heard the 911 tape.)

Plus, a lot of people hate William Shatner because he comes off as bitter, egotistical, delusional, and narcissistic. That kind of shit rubs a lot of people on Trek BBS the wrong way, because you aren't going to find people like that around here.

Lastly, the new Abramsverse has so many possibilities that the old Rottenbery-verse NEVER had, for example:

A) Will Spock and Uhura break up or stay together?

B) Will they do the Wrath of Kahn all over again (but with kick-ASS special effects)?

C) Will they bring back the three Kryptonian villains from the Phantom ZONE?


I am mostly hoping for (A). Think about it. You can't really do stories about romance in other genres. Star Trek is the perfect place for it. Science fiction tv shows have always handled romantic relationships in mature, nuanced ways.

Star Trek 11 developed the Spock/Uhura relationship on a deep, emotional level. I would like to see that relationship continue, IF IT IS DONE WELL. Don't insult the audience.

Lastly, another reason why Pine is just as good as Shatner:

Pretty much every movie that Chris Pine has been in (other than Star Trek 11) has been a piece of shit, just like how pretty much every non-Star Trek movie that William Shatner has been in has been a piece of shit.

Not only does that put the two actors on the same level, but it means Chris Pine should be free to do more Star Trek movies for a long, long time. (I mean, what the fuck else is he going to do?)

In conclusion, the above evidence should prove -- conclusively -- that since Star Trek 11 ROCKED, that Star Trek 12 and 13 and 14will rock just as hard. How could it go any other way?

I mean what do we know so far:

A) Abrams is going to direct

b) The movie will eventually be made, in the next two years or more.

So again, how can it not ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Because it CAN and it WILL!!!

Haters, let it go.

The Abrams-Verse is here to stay.

127 minutes of awesome down... 100 billion minutes of awesome to GO!

BRING IT!!!!

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

P.S. No gays in Star Trek 12.

 

[Biffette]

You know, when people go back to read old threads and you've moved on to a different avatar, these threads might make you seem like a jerk instead of just HILARIOUS.

 

[Gojira]

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap.

While the most recent movie is my favorite I do not agree that over the last 50 years the Star Trek franchise produced mostly crap.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap.

While the most recent movie is my favorite I do not agree that over the last 50 years the Star Trek franchise produced mostly crap.

Well, you are wrong my friend.

Submitted for your approval:

A) Wesley Crusher loses his baseball, and the naked people stone him to death.

B) Admiral Archer's dog pisses on a tree, and Archer gets court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

c) Captain Kirk turns into a woman, and they said there was no other woman Captain in Starfleet, but there was definitley a BLACK woman Captain in Star Trek IV: The Search for Whales.

 

[Gepard]

I'm...I'm not even sure which group you're attacking any more. Who are you and what have you done with Sam Cogley???

 

[Gojira]

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap.

While the most recent movie is my favorite I do not agree that over the last 50 years the Star Trek franchise produced mostly crap.

Well, you are wrong my friend.

Submitted for your approval:

A) Wesley Crusher loses his baseball, and the naked people stone him to death.

B) Admiral Archer's dog pisses on a tree, and Archer gets court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

c) Captain Kirk turns into a woman, and they said there was no other woman Captain in Starfleet, but there was definitley a BLACK woman Captain in Star Trek IV: The Search for Whales.

You are entitled to your subjective opinion as well as I am to mine but I really enjoy the vast majority of Star Trek.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

While the most recent movie is my favorite I do not agree that over the last 50 years the Star Trek franchise produced mostly crap.

Well, you are wrong my friend.

Submitted for your approval:

A) Wesley Crusher loses his baseball, and the naked people stone him to death.

B) Admiral Archer's dog pisses on a tree, and Archer gets court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

c) Captain Kirk turns into a woman, and they said there was no other woman Captain in Starfleet, but there was definitley a BLACK woman Captain in Star Trek IV: The Search for Whales.

You are entitled to your subjective opinion as well as I am to mine but I really enjoy the vast majority of Star Trek.

It has been scientifically proven that you are wrong.

 

[Gojira]

Well, you are wrong my friend.

Submitted for your approval:

A) Wesley Crusher loses his baseball, and the naked people stone him to death.

B) Admiral Archer's dog pisses on a tree, and Archer gets court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

c) Captain Kirk turns into a woman, and they said there was no other woman Captain in Starfleet, but there was definitley a BLACK woman Captain in Star Trek IV: The Search for Whales.

You are entitled to your subjective opinion as well as I am to mine but I really enjoy the vast majority of Star Trek.

It has been scientifically proven that you are wrong.

How can I be wrong about what I like? You don't have to like it.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

You are entitled to your subjective opinion as well as I am to mine but I really enjoy the vast majority of Star Trek.

It has been scientifically proven that you are wrong.

How can I be wrong about what I like? You don't have to like it.

It is beyond you. It is beyond me.

It is science. It is fact. It is logic. It is a pretty bird that smells bad.

 

[sonak]

the satire here is a little too obvious for it to be genuinely clever. Should be toned down a smidgen.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

the satire here is a little too obvious for it to be genuinely clever. Should be toned down a smidgen.

I take your opinion quite seriously, sonak. Whomever the fuck you are.

 

[sonak]

the satire here is a little too obvious for it to be genuinely clever. Should be toned down a smidgen.

I take your opinion quite seriously, sonak. Whomever the fuck you are.

I was just offering constructive criticism of your writing.


And I have as much knowledge of who you are as you do of who I am, so.... I'm not sure what the effect of pointing that out is.

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

the satire here is a little too obvious for it to be genuinely clever. Should be toned down a smidgen.

I take your opinion quite seriously, sonak. Whomever the fuck you are.

I was just offering constructive criticism of your writing.


And I have as much knowledge of who you are as you do of who I am, so.... I'm not sure what the effect of pointing that out is.

I think the effect is quite obvious, especially when it is later revealed that I have absolutely no clue who you are, at which point my last comment becomes fairly meaningless, which brings us back to your unsolicited criticism of my post, which is obviously going to break my spirit and make me want to kill myself.

Now, look what you have done.

 

[plynch]

I think it was the BEST MOVIE EVAH, most action-packed, loudest, with most space rapelling officers ever in one movie. Plus it had RED MATTER!! RED MATTER, for cryin out loud. Chris Pine nailed Kirk in one try. Forget the noble, competent hero archetype. We needed a punky, whiny psychodrama who looks good in a black t-shirt. NAILED IT!! Boo-yah!

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

I think it was the BEST MOVIE EVAH, most action-packed, loudest, with most space rapelling officers ever in one movie. Plus it had RED MATTER!! RED MATTER, for cryin out loud. Chris Pine nailed Kirk in one try. Forget the noble, competent hero archetype. We needed a punky, whiny psychodrama who looks good in a black t-shirt. NAILED IT!! Boo-yah!

Thank you. Thank you. With all my heart, thank you.

 

[sonak]

I take your opinion quite seriously, sonak. Whomever the fuck you are.

I was just offering constructive criticism of your writing.


And I have as much knowledge of who you are as you do of who I am, so.... I'm not sure what the effect of pointing that out is.

I think the effect is quite obvious, especially when it is later revealed that I have absolutely no clue who you are, at which point my last comment becomes fairly meaningless, which brings us back to your unsolicited criticism of my post, which is obviously going to break my spirit and make me want to kill myself.

Now, look what you have done.

ah, perfect example of your subtle misuse of satire.

See, instead of "going to break my spirit and make me want to kill myself," which is just too over the top,

"make me want to go in a corner and cry" would work better.


---sonak, who as someone who appreciates fine satire, is more than happy to help

 

[Samuel T. Cogley]

I was just offering constructive criticism of your writing.


And I have as much knowledge of who you are as you do of who I am, so.... I'm not sure what the effect of pointing that out is.

I think the effect is quite obvious, especially when it is later revealed that I have absolutely no clue who you are, at which point my last comment becomes fairly meaningless, which brings us back to your unsolicited criticism of my post, which is obviously going to break my spirit and make me want to kill myself.

Now, look what you have done.

ah, perfect example of your subtle misuse of satire.

See, instead of "going to break my spirit and make me want to kill myself," which is just too over the top,

"make me want to go in a corner and cry" would work better.


---sonak, who as someone who appreciates fine satire, is more than happy to help

So many tutors... So little time...

 

[number6]

Go on.. Take him to school!!

 

[Broccoli]

Okay, so we all know that J.J. Abrams came along and fixed Star Trek forever.

Yes, there were a few good episodes and movies over the past 50 years, but mostly it was crap. THINK: "Spock's Brain", that DS9 episode where they all play hopscotch, the TNG episode where Dr. Crusher's zombie mother comes back from the dead and tries to eat the crew, and pretty much every episode of Voyager and Enterprise.

So J.J. Abrams comes along and goes with all the ideas that I have been suggesting all along (and ditches all those lame ideas of the other supposed 'fans' ) and he just hits a home run straight out of the park.

Star Trek 11 just fucking rocked, hands down/

So here's what kills me...

These haters who keep coming in here and say "Chris Pine3 is not Kirk. Only William Shaner is Kirk."

Look, you people need to wise up. So Shatner played Kirk in like 100 episodes and 6 movies and 1000 books (don't argue that Shatner was not playing Kirk in the books, I could see his damn face right on the book covers, and he did NOT look like Chris Pine)... So what? Big whoop! So, what? He like owns the character now? Puh-leeeese. I don't THINK so.

Chris Pine has played Captain Kirk for one whole movie now and he rocked it.

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE HAS PLAYED KIRK: ONE!!

NUMBER OF MOVIES WHERE CHRIS PINE ROCKED IT PLAYING KIRK: ONE!!!!

ONE / ONE = 100% ROCKED IT!!!

Have you seen how many shitty episodes Shatner was in and Star Trek Five: The Search for GOD, and some of those comics were really lame too.

3798 / 5647 (episodes, comics, books, movies, happy meals) = 67%

67% is NOT rocking it.

So, nice try Shatner, but your day is DONE!

Make way for 100% KIRK = CHRIS PINE

Besides, let's address some other skeletons in the closet. We all know that William Shatner pushed Jeffrey Hunter (Admiral Christopher Pike) down the stairs and into the pool, where he drowned, just so Kirk could take over the role of Captain of the Enterprise. And then he blamed it on a drug overdose. (We aren't that naive, William Shatner. We have all heard the 911 tape.)

Plus, a lot of people hate William Shatner because he comes off as bitter, egotistical, delusional, and narcissistic. That kind of shit rubs a lot of people on Trek BBS the wrong way, because you aren't going to find people like that around here.

Lastly, the new Abramsverse has so many possibilities that the old Rottenbery-verse NEVER had, for example:

A) Will Spock and Uhura break up or stay together?

B) Will they do the Wrath of Kahn all over again (but with kick-ASS special effects)?

C) Will they bring back the three Kryptonian villains from the Phantom ZONE?


I am mostly hoping for (A). Think about it. You can't really do stories about romance in other genres. Star Trek is the perfect place for it. Science fiction tv shows have always handled romantic relationships in mature, nuanced ways.

Star Trek 11 developed the Spock/Uhura relationship on a deep, emotional level. I would like to see that relationship continue, IF IT IS DONE WELL. Don't insult the audience.

Lastly, another reason why Pine is just as good as Shatner:

Pretty much every movie that Chris Pine has been in (other than Star Trek 11) has been a piece of shit, just like how pretty much every non-Star Trek movie that William Shatner has been in has been a piece of shit.

Not only does that put the two actors on the same level, but it means Chris Pine should be free to do more Star Trek movies for a long, long time. (I mean, what the fuck else is he going to do?)

In conclusion, the above evidence should prove -- conclusively -- that since Star Trek 11 ROCKED, that Star Trek 12 and 13 and 14will rock just as hard. How could it go any other way?

I mean what do we know so far:

A) Abrams is going to direct

b) The movie will eventually be made, in the next two years or more.

So again, how can it not ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Because it CAN and it WILL!!!

Haters, let it go.

The Abrams-Verse is here to stay.

127 minutes of awesome down... 100 billion minutes of awesome to GO!

BRING IT!!!!

tl;dr

whats a star trak?