I can't believe someone thought that was you.
Sorry man, but there really is only one Ron Fucking Swanson.
One of these is my reaction to your remark.
The Dating Advice and Support Thread
- Thread starter Trekker4747
- Start date
One of these is my reaction to your remark.
^ That's not me in my profile. It's the character of Ron Swanson from the show Parks & Recreation after having drunken hate sex with his ex-wife and landing in jail.
Glad to see I was WAY OFF THE MARK about Robert playing up the machismo (now with free homophobia!) and being abusive though.
I can't believe someone thought that was you.
It ads to the fail.
I only have one thing to add:
^ That's not me in my profile. It's the character of Ron Swanson from the show Parks & Recreation after having drunken hate sex with his ex-wife and landing in jail.
Glad to see I was WAY OFF THE MARK about Robert playing up the machismo (now with free homophobia!) and being abusive though.
I can't believe someone thought that was you.
It ads to the fail.
I only have one thing to add:
http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2011/07/supercut-ron-swanson-and-food
This "nice guys" thing... it doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. It means you have to be sexy. What is sexy? Confidence. Who is confident? Assholes. But is everyone who's confident automatically an asshole? Nope.
Relationships are also about sex, you know. They have always been, and they always will be. If you always pretend you don't seek sex, you WILL end up being the "nice guy", too.
Relationships are also about sex, you know. They have always been, and they always will be. If you always pretend you don't seek sex, you WILL end up being the "nice guy", too.
Somewhat inspired by Aldo's now locked thread, in it some where offering support, hits, advice, etc. on dating so I thought it'd be nice to just have a running thread on the subject.
Here people are invited to talk openly about any dating experiences, advice, or troubles they may have bringing a sense of community to our, um, community.
So let your hair down, gather around and share in the experience of finding love.
Thanks, Trekker. I thought of the same thing after Aldo's other thread got closed down. Not having been in a relationship in ages, I don't really have much to offer in terms of advice, but I'd be interested to hear what others have to say.
In moderate defence of the, let's just call it the "asshole method," it did land me a date with a very fine young lady. However it was, in her words, "because I wanted to see what it would be like if you were nice to me."
It did not go further than that date.
It did not go further than that date.
So what's the rules on asking someone out over Facebook?
She's a friend of my on Facebook, she's someone I know in real life, I send her a message asking her out and then see what happens -claiming or schedules at work at work don't allow for a good time to socialize and for me to ask her out there.
She's a friend of my on Facebook, she's someone I know in real life, I send her a message asking her out and then see what happens -claiming or schedules at work at work don't allow for a good time to socialize and for me to ask her out there.
You know what is really awful.. when a guy puts on a fake nice guy voice dripping with solicitude. When the solicitude is totally over the top for what they are addressing, the faux empathy just leaking all over the conversation. This is gross but weirdly common.
Yeah you have no idea what a woman's preference is but just remember for most people it's not set in stone. Everyone can come up with a list of likes and dislikes as far as looks go but it's not that meaningful if you connect to someone. If you are worried about "what you look like" just make sure you are dressed nice, are clean, have maybe asked some advice so you don't look like you're in some time warp as far as hair etc.. goes. That's the stuff that people instantly filter others by, get that right and your actual looks won't matter much if at all for a lot of women.
A lot of people can be shallow, I'm sure we are all guilty of it in some way. It does seem though that whenever people talk about looks being of no consequence in the search for a partner, websites such as these start to appear.
Personally, on some occasions I can be 50/50 about it. I don't like the idea that looks, body shape, hairstyle, dress sense, height, weight, "manhood" size, etc mean a lot to the members of my appropriate gender (female) but at the same time, I accept that I have my standards as well.
For the sake of comparison and i'm going to be completely honest here. Personal hygiene is a biggy, there is nothing more unattractive about a woman who doesn't wash. I dislike lazyness, but I'm not too fussed if a woman is overweight, as long as she is healthy and won't sit on her ass and not move for hours (that goes for thin women too). I'm an active kind of person and while i'm not exactly a slim chicken myself, I keep myself within a good level of fitness and I am always up for doing something, lazy I am not! Dress sense doesn't really matter to me, if a woman feels comfortable with what she wears, then thats fine with me (same with men too). I don't like mindgames and have no time for playing them, I am honest with people and I expect the same in return. I can compromise on most of those things and by all means I don't go looking for women that fit that picture, but in terms of preferences thats what I have.
Most women I know have a hard time being honest about their preferences, because they fear it will make them look shallow, but we all have our likes and dislikes. So anyway, i've basically wrote a dating profile here for you guys to have a laugh about whats say you do the same (women too!) and we can illustrate that preferences don't equate solely on looks (or even at all)?
Personally, on some occasions I can be 50/50 about it. I don't like the idea that looks, body shape, hairstyle, dress sense, height, weight, "manhood" size, etc mean a lot to the members of my appropriate gender (female) but at the same time, I accept that I have my standards as well.
For the sake of comparison and i'm going to be completely honest here. Personal hygiene is a biggy, there is nothing more unattractive about a woman who doesn't wash. I dislike lazyness, but I'm not too fussed if a woman is overweight, as long as she is healthy and won't sit on her ass and not move for hours (that goes for thin women too). I'm an active kind of person and while i'm not exactly a slim chicken myself, I keep myself within a good level of fitness and I am always up for doing something, lazy I am not! Dress sense doesn't really matter to me, if a woman feels comfortable with what she wears, then thats fine with me (same with men too). I don't like mindgames and have no time for playing them, I am honest with people and I expect the same in return. I can compromise on most of those things and by all means I don't go looking for women that fit that picture, but in terms of preferences thats what I have.
Most women I know have a hard time being honest about their preferences, because they fear it will make them look shallow, but we all have our likes and dislikes. So anyway, i've basically wrote a dating profile here for you guys to have a laugh about
whats say you do the same (women too!) and we can illustrate that preferences don't equate solely on looks (or even at all)?
The key is to balance confidence in yourself with interest in the person you are interested in. You have to want to learn about her, and, more importantly, react to what she's telling you, and even what she isn't. Confidence without any legitimate interest comes off as just egocentric or, in plain English, assholish. Interest without confidence comes off as desperate and creepy.
There's a really fine line you have to walk to balance the two.
I don't know, maybe I'm too old fashioned and not down with how you crazy kids ask each other out on dates these days, but I would feel weird if someone who I saw daily or frequently at work asked me out via Facebook. Not weird as in creepy weird, just weird as in wondering why that person is hesitant to just ask me out at lunch or after we get off work.
To each their own, though. If you feel it gives you more confidence to ask over Facebook than in person, go for it. It's better to find a way that works for you than to not ask at all
How is it any different/ better than asking her out via email or a text message?
Asking someone out doesn't have to be a production, it can be done in 5 minutes or less.
YOU: "Would you like to grab a drink/coffee/ dinner after work next week?"
HER: "sure"
YOU: "Is Tuesday or Thursday better for you?"
HER: "Thursday"
YOU: " See you at 6"
The only thing about planning dates/dinners in writing via e-mail, texting, etc., is that it's too impersonal. It would be nice to have a face-to-face conversation about it with the opposite sex. Also, the woman might change her mind later and could always say, "Oh, geez, something else came up" or "I didn't realize I had already made plans with a friend that night." At least in person or over the phone, there's more human interaction involved in terms of vocal communication, eye contact, and body language.
Good lord man! Did you learn nothing from my closed thread? Asking a girl out over facebook is not the way to go. Maybe she won't find it creepy, but it will come off as a lack of confidence on your part. Why should she want to (possibly) enter into something with you if you don't even have the balls to ask her out face to face?
That being said, I may not be the best person in the world to offer that kind of advice (what with trying to introduce myself to a girl over facebook
) but in my defense I've only ever asked out girls in person.
I'm impressed with how dramatically you've proven Locutus's assessment of you to be correct.
Internet tough guy? you mean like the white boy trying hard to look bad ass in his trekbbs profile pic with dreadlocks and a faggot ass mustache? Who the fuck are you trying to be? fucking poser
Anyway, you guys dont have to believe me. You can think im a virgin for all I care. but if you pull your head out your ass once in a while and look around, maybe you might have heard the old saying "nice guys finish last" or "good girls love bad guys". shit like that. I'm not the first one to come up with this idea. I'm just the first one to mention in this thread. and all I get is a bunch of haters trolling on me. but you can all lick my balls.
To the guys considering using nice compliments to do cold pick up girls at a club, I think your chances are way better if you come off as a bit of an asshole. There is of course a difference between an asshole that make girls laugh and say "ohhh you're soooo mean! hahaha" and an asshole that's just an ass (like Locutus here)
There's actually a term for, I guess you could say, the "proper" way of being an asshole. It's called negging. You can google it. You're gonna get a lot of ignorant people like Locutus telling you it doesnt work but I would suggest you read up on it and give it a shot before you knock it.
I'm gonna get banned for the stuff I said to that fag Locutus
Now you've got a Warning for Flaming and homophobic Trolling. It really pays to be a posturing Internet tough guy, huh?
As for how I handle dating-- or how I did when I did-- I generally go about my life and when I meet somebody I like and I think it's appropriate, I suggest getting together. Place and time determined by person and circumstance. Or, if somebody asks me, then I say yes or no depending on whether or not I want to.
Dating and other romantic liaisons are pretty much the most common activity in the world. There's really no reason to treat it like some arcane, embarrassing desire.
Dating and other romantic liaisons are pretty much the most common activity in the world. There's really no reason to treat it like some arcane, embarrassing desire.
Good lord man! Did you learn nothing from my closed thread? Asking a girl out over facebook is not the way to go. Maybe she won't find it creepy, but it will come off as a lack of confidence on your part. Why should she want to (possibly) enter into something with you if you don't even have the balls to ask her out face to face?
That being said, I may not be the best person in the world to offer that kind of advice (what with trying to introduce myself to a girl over facebook
Well, the difference being you didn't know your girl and "met" her through Facebook.
Re: The asking her out at work thing. We work pretty different schedules and our jobs keep us both pretty busy during the course of the day and her work personality is much like my own where you're focused on the task and the job and not standing around talking to people all of the time.
LOL, I thought interest in the person was a given.
Not necessarily. Of course interest in something is a given (
), but genuinely being interested in the other person--and treating them as more than a potential conquest--is not always there.Similar threads
